Quote:
Prof. Bandicoot: My absolute pleasure, I assure you.
DMM: No doubt you are aware of the fact that many people around the globe regard the Australian dialect as being so full of peculiarities as to be almost opaque to comprehension.
Prof. Bandicoot: Indeed, yes.
DMM: As an expert in the subject, is there any truth to this reputation?
Prof. Bandicoot: No, it's a complete furphy (lie/rumour).[1]
DMM: So as a country, what can we do about it? Should we just cop it sweet (handle it)?[2]
Prof. Bandicoot: No, bugger that for a joke (stuff that!).[3] We can't have mug lairs[4] telling porkies (lies)[5] about us like that. I mean, fair crack of the whip!(give us a fair chance)[6]
DMM: Where do you think this undeserved bad rap comes from?
Prof. Bandicoot: I got a Captain Cook[7] first hand one time. Some septic (rancid)[8] blow-in[9] tried to crack on to (make a move on)[10] a true blue (very Australian Looking)[11] sheila (lady)[12] over a counter lunch (RSL club bar bench)[13]. Being your typical flash Jack (player wannabe)[14], naturally he came a gutser (got more brave)[15]. "Don't come the raw prawn (toy/fool)[16] with me," she said, and gave him the flick (ignored him)[17]. He went berko (berserk) [18] and got into an argy-bargy (a bit of an argument)[19] with the blokes (men) [20] there.
DMM: So he did his nana (got angry)[21] and got into a barney (argument? With precursor of a fight)?[22]
Prof. Bandicoot: That's what I just said. It was on for young and old (everyone).[23] Anyway, the wuss (scardy cat)[24] took off (ran away).[25] One bloke had had enough of this shonky (shakey)[26] sook (sulk)[27] and coathangered (where one place a punch with arm straight, instead of using your fist, you use your arm around the height of the other person’s neck and knock them back. This is especially useful when the other person’s running at you unsuspectingly )[28] him at the door.
DMM: Pearler (beautiful(![29]
Prof. Bandicoot: Yeah. So, he was rooted (f**ked)[30] after that; had a face like a half-sucked mango (bruised and butt ugly).[31]
DMM: Not worth a crumpet (not worth his own salt, not able to put up a fight)[32], eh?
Prof. Bandicoot: Too right (nope)[33]. Anyway, when this galah (aussie birds that’s way too loud and never shuts up)[34] gets up, he's useless as a two-bob watch (watch worth only 2 cents).[35] He spits the dummy (quits)[36] and shoots through like a Bondi tram. (going way fast and off the rails)[37]
DMM: Fair suck of the sav (he couldn’t handle what he got dished)![38]
Prof. Bandicoot: Yeah, but next thing I know, this whinger's (whinny person)[39] dobbed (told, tetter-tale, someone who can’t hold his own and appeals to authority)[40] to his mates and white-anted (bum rushed) [41] the place!
DMM: Strewth (god damn!),[42] he must have had a roo loose in the top paddock!(the lights are on, but no body’s at home)[43]
Prof. Bandicoot: Strike me lucky!(just my luck)[44] It's money for old rope (It wasn’t worth it for me).[45] So you see, that's how things got pear-shaped (went south)[46].
DMM: And here we are, busting a gut (fighting back)[47] like a wood and water joey[48] to hold our end up (we were not losing).[49]
Prof. Bandicoot: Stiffen the wombats![50] Let me tell you how easy it is to communicate in Strine.[51] One time I was tooling (getting busy)[52] along the bitumen (on the ground)[53], flat chat (flat out)[54], listening to the gee-gees[55] on the trannie[56] (I think this means he was tossed around) - I like a bit of a flutter (excitement)[57] you know -
DMM: Don't we all!
Prof. Bandicoot: So anyway, here I am, living the life of Riley (trying not to get hit/fleeing)[58], when the donk (car)[59] goes bung (makes a noise?)![60]
DMM: Hooley dooley! (holy crap)[61]
Prof. Bandicoot: So I lob into (get into)[62] a garage, pop the bonnet (open the hood)[63], and tell the drongo (idiots)[64] I need to hit the frog (hit the road),[65] but my donk's (car’s broken) stuffed.[66] He was fit as a Mallee bull (very strong)[67], but full as a goog (completely full of liquid like an egg)[68] - completely tanked (very drunk).[69]
DMM: Legless (couldn’t stand)?[70]
Prof. Bandicoot: Blotto (very drunk).[71] Three sheets to the wind (mindless).[72] This grog [73] artist (someone who makes drinking alcohol look like an art, negative connotation)[74] was on the white lady (I’m pretty sure this is a type of alcohol)[75] and had a mouth as dry as the bottom of a cocky's cage.[76] Dry as a dead dingo's donger (dead dingo’s er… nether region).[77] Tried to cadge (borrow/mooch)[78] a fag (cigarette)[79] to suck on, but I told the bludger (slacker)[80] to stop shilly-shallying (diddling)[81] and have a butcher's (look)[82] at my donk. Things are crook in Tallarook (pretty),[83] I said, get cracking!(get to work)[84]
DMM: Did he give it a burl? (give it a try)[85]
Prof. Bandicoot: Half your luck![86] He wouldn't work in an iron lung. (he couldn’t work if a machine did all his work)[87] He was all mouth and trousers (completely useless idiot).[88]
DMM: Thought it was Bush week (Thought these people were playing tricks on ya cause you were a city boy)?[89]
Prof. Bandicoot: Too right.(Hell yeah)[90] I asked where the dunny (toilet)[91] was and went to see a man about a dog (needed to leave the room),[92] getting more and more ropeable (needed to be held back).[93] I was about to go hammer and tongs (bash the crap out of him)[94] on him, enough to rot his rabbit rissole (pound him into the ground like minced meat),[95] but on my Nelly (on my word),[96] he'd come up trumps (came up tops).[97]
DMM: Come off the grass (get off it)![98]
Prof. Bandicoot: Fair dinkum! (it’s the truth!)[99] Then to boot,(on top of that)[100] he invites me in for tucker (food usually proper meals)[101] with the trouble (wife, significant other):[102] chook (chicken)[103] and damper (home made bread),[104] with a dirty great (great big)[105] pav (pavlova) [106] and quangers[107] for afters.[108]
DMM: Ridgy didge (not telling lies)?[109] That's grouse (great).[110] A real bottler (beauty).[111]
Prof. Bandicoot: Bloody oath. (hell yeah)[112] I didn't want to stir the possum (cause any trouble),[113] but I had to ask if my donk would chuck it in,(make it)[114] if he'd done a Claytons (fakey)[115] on it, and it'd go cactus (it’ll be dead).[116]
DMM: If he was trying to flick it on (pull wool over your eyes)?[117]
Prof. Bandicoot: Right. "Suck it and see," (try it yourself then)[118] he says, "she'll be apples. (rosey)[119] She's jake, (fine)[120] mate." So we nutted out (discussed)[121] a few quid (on the price),[122] pair of lobsters ($40, our $20 notes are orange),[123] and I did a Harold (got moving).[124] "Sorry to pike (to be a pain),"[125] I said, but I had to get my strides (my arse)[126] back of Bourke[127] that arvo (afternoon).[128]
DMM: And the donk?
Prof. Bandicoot: Fit for rego! (good enough to get registered)[129] I was stoked (very happy).[130]
DMM: Hmmm. I see your point. So next time some wowser (show off)[131] gives us heaps (needless crap)[132] for talking Strine...
Prof. Bandicoot: Tell the bastards (male version of *****)[133] to go to buggery!(go to hell)[134]
DMM: Thanks heaps (a lot)[135] for popping round (coming around),[136] Professor.
Prof. Bandicoot: No wuckers. (no problems)[137]
DMM: Hooroo. (laterz) [138]
Not as funny if you translate it cause a lot of the aussie language comes with imagery. Things like "it was on for young and old" where literally everyone used to get into bar fights regardless of age. "popping around" came from people literally popping their head around your front door to check if you were in. "suck it and see" comes from Lemons and people questioning about their taste, so on and so forth. You can't get that from normal everyday english words hehe.
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
