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 Post subject: Smoker Solidarity?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:32 pm 
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Why is it considered (more?) acceptable to ask a complete stranger for a cigarette than something of simular value? Why do people seem to expect a fellow smoker to give up said object? I'm sure many people would consider it rude to walk by someone they don't know and go "hey can I have one of your fries", but this "smoker solidarity" seems to be the most acceptable form of begging. I don't smoke so I maybe I just don't understand. I dont like asking strangers for anything even in times of true despiration I can't imagine asking them for something as trivial as a smoke.

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 Post subject: Re: Smoker Solidarity?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:45 pm 
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The only similar thing I can think of is that I've been asked for feminine hygeine products by total strangers. It's the desperation that makes it acceptable, I think.


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 Post subject: Re: Smoker Solidarity?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:54 pm 
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Rorinthas wrote:
Why is it considered (more?) acceptable to ask a complete stranger for a cigarette than something of simular value? Why do people seem to expect a fellow smoker to give up said object? I'm sure many people would consider it rude to walk by someone they don't know and go "hey can I have one of your fries", but this "smoker solidarity" seems to be the most acceptable form of begging. I don't smoke so I maybe I just don't understand. I dont like asking strangers for anything even in times of true despiration I can't imagine asking them for something as trivial as a smoke.


I've had homeless folks ask me for them. But most of the time I have been asked for or the times I have asked for one it is just because one of us is out. Being out of smokes is one thing a smoker can understand. I don't mind tossing a couple to someone that is out, provided it doesn't become an everyday thing.

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 Post subject: Re: Smoker Solidarity?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:23 pm 
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Amongst friends/coworkers/casual aquaintances is one thing. that's not what peturbs me. there was a young man at work today. I saw him ask no less than 4 people for a cigarette. If he had asked them for money instead odd are one of them would have reported him for panhandling. I just have trouble grasping the social difference.

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 Post subject: Re: Smoker Solidarity?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:16 pm 
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*pssst...Raell...toss a couple this way...and don't let Nurse Ratchett catch you, whatever you do!!* :evil:


Yeah, yeah...I know...I shouldn't smoke anyway, and especially now, after having had a heart attack! I know that and you know that...tell my addicted body and brain that!!! I've been trying for a couple years now, to quit...but I don't really want to...I enjoy the occasional smoke...I just don't enjoy the 1-2 pack a day habit that it develops into! :(

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:25 pm 
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I think it started as an icebreaker, back when a lot more people smoked and cigarettes were pretty cheap. Ask someone for a smoke or a light and you develop common ground, and it doesn't cost anyone very much. It can start a conversation as quickly as anything else. Develop a sense of camaraderie with some other guys.

Over time it became acceptable, even the norm for smokers to share their cigarettes when someone needed one, and like Taamar indicated, smokers understand how desperate you can get when you really need a smoke and are out, just as a woman might desperately need something to staunch the bleeding when her monthly flow hits unexpectedly.

Of course, some carry it beyond the pale, subsisting on the spare cigarettes of others. They are effectively panhandling, they don't want a conversation, they want your smoke, now go away please.

At the $5 a pack they are here in California, basically a quarter each, they aren't throw gestures of good will and kindness anymore. One of the smokers I know doesn't carry them in his shirt pocket anymore. His smokes stay in his courier bag (yes, he carries one, only guy I know that does) at all times, until he wants one and goes outside to light up.

Its a habit I'm glad I never started.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:16 pm 
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My best friend smokes menthols, simply because so many people who try to bum a cigarette off of him get disinterested as soon as they see the green box.

Ya still gotta hand it to some people, though. I don't smoke cigarettes, (but an occasional cigar when I'm out with friends is OK) but I've been asked for a cigarette out of the blue a couple of times. The most brazen was a woman coming up and knocking on my driver-side window while I was waiting to make a right turn onto a busy street. I can understand if I'd had a butt in my mouth at the time, but she had absolutely no reason to suspect that I smoked whatsoever, yet she went out of her way to ask me anyways.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 11:22 pm 
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Huh. I've spent a bit of time in Russian, where it's a common thing to bum a cig (or used to be, at least). Maybe it's a communal thing - We're all flushing our health down the toilet, lemme bum one - ?

I mean, if it's a chronic thing, the same guy always bumming them, OK, yeah, it's a pain. But, if it's the occasional "I need a fix right now," sure, have one.

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 Post subject: Re: Smoker Solidarity?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:34 pm 
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Its been several months since I quit smoking (God I miss it!)...I always understood the bumming a ciggarette thing. It was just kind of understood that at some point you would bum one from someone else so if someone asked you for one you gave them one. Sort of like a messed up cancer version of pay it forward.

Smoking is so much more than just a chemical addiction or a "habit." Its having your best friend in your pocket and a whole group of instant buddies who were strangers until you both lit up. I've met some really cool people through striking up a conversation over a smoke. I've met people who I might otherwise have never met or spoken to whether because they were a VIP or someone I just wouldn't have considered approaching.

And anyone who says smoking isn't cool is either in denial, trying to convince themselves, or never been a smoker. The cancer part is not cool. The ill health effects are not cool.
But smoking is cool.

Its truly a way of life. I'll be fighting the urge to smoke for the rest of my days.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:16 pm 
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Welcome to the club. I've been fighting it for probably, oh, going on 30-odd years now.

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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:27 pm 
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Aethien wrote:
Welcome to the club. I've been fighting it for probably, oh, going on 30-odd years now.


:cry: It sucks.
We really do need a club.

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 Post subject: Re: Smoker Solidarity?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:42 pm 
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LadyKate wrote:

And anyone who says smoking isn't cool is either in denial, trying to convince themselves, or never been a smoker. The cancer part is not cool. The ill health effects are not cool.
But smoking is cool.


I've heard the same rationale applied to tattoos and S&M.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:53 pm 
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I'm going to start asking strangers for fries now. I would not ask for feminine hygiene products. Though, in desperation, I have borrowed a maxi pad (it was sealed) to blow my nose in. When I get a cold, it's unreal. I must say, those things do stop flow pretty well.

Yeah, I have no shame.

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 Post subject: Re: Smoker Solidarity?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:35 am 
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LadyKate,

The most effective deterrent to smoking I've found is that it causes wrinkles. They occur much earlier, and are much deeper. Heavy smokers look decades older than non smokers on average.

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 Post subject: Re: Smoker Solidarity?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:43 am 
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Squirrel Girl wrote:
LadyKate,

The most effective deterrent to smoking I've found is that it causes wrinkles. They occur much earlier, and are much deeper. Heavy smokers look decades older than non smokers on average.



Very, very true. My ex-wifes mother is in her early to mid 50s, been a smoker for who knows how long. My mom who has never taken a puff is in her late 60s, she may be 70 I can't remember. You would think their ages were reversed if you saw them side by side.

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 Post subject: Re: Smoker Solidarity?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:44 am 
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Squirrel Girl wrote:
LadyKate,

The most effective deterrent to smoking I've found is that it causes wrinkles. They occur much earlier, and are much deeper. Heavy smokers look decades older than non smokers on average.


That's the thing though...the cancer, the stench, the wrinkles, the going flat broke...none of that seems to factor in when you think about the comaraderie and the coolness of having little buddies in your pocket all the time.

There are only two things that keep me from picking them back up right this second: my kids (including pregnancy) and that it was so hard to quit I don't want it to be wasted.

Otherwise, cancer, wrinkles, death and all....I'd be smoking right now.


I would personally like to see a new anti-smoking campaign. One that was a little more geared toward getting people to quit without denying that people enjoy smoking. There has got to be a way to do it other than showing the threat of death, because frankly, that is not an effective way to reach smokers.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:00 am 
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Smoking is about as cool as really bad BO, except really bad BO is free...

Smokers don't seem to realize just how awful they smell.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:04 am 
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Agreed Timmit. It permiates everything, and it smells really bad. Even worse than the smell of the actual cigarette sometimes.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:32 am 
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Dude, asking for a smoke was my best ice-breaker in bars when approaching hot chicks that smoke. I didn't smoke at all, but I could fake it pretty well. Worked well for me on many occasions.

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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:05 pm 
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Timmit wrote:
Smoking is about as cool as really bad BO, except really bad BO is free...

Smokers don't seem to realize just how awful they smell.



It's terrible, I agree.

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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:15 pm 
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Screeling wrote:
Dude, asking for a smoke was my best ice-breaker in bars when approaching hot chicks that smoke. I didn't smoke at all, but I could fake it pretty well. Worked well for me on many occasions.

But it only works for chicks that smoke. Serious downfall, man. ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:17 pm 
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Kaffis Mark V wrote:
Screeling wrote:
Dude, asking for a smoke was my best ice-breaker in bars when approaching hot chicks that smoke. I didn't smoke at all, but I could fake it pretty well. Worked well for me on many occasions.

But it only works for chicks that smoke. Serious downfall, man. ;)


I am going to have to break with conventional wisdom.

Kissing a smoker is NOT like licking an ashtray.


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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:21 pm 
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Lonedar wrote:
Kaffis Mark V wrote:
Screeling wrote:
Dude, asking for a smoke was my best ice-breaker in bars when approaching hot chicks that smoke. I didn't smoke at all, but I could fake it pretty well. Worked well for me on many occasions.

But it only works for chicks that smoke. Serious downfall, man. ;)


I am going to have to break with conventional wisdom.

Kissing a smoker is NOT like licking an ashtray.


In a good way, or a bad way?

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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:33 pm 
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Lonedar wrote:
Kaffis Mark V wrote:
Screeling wrote:
Dude, asking for a smoke was my best ice-breaker in bars when approaching hot chicks that smoke. I didn't smoke at all, but I could fake it pretty well. Worked well for me on many occasions.

But it only works for chicks that smoke. Serious downfall, man. ;)


I am going to have to break with conventional wisdom.

Kissing a smoker is NOT like licking an ashtray.

Never tried it. However, since kissing involves wanting to be around and in very close proximity to a person for more than a few minutes, it doesn't really matter if it is or isn't like licking an ashtray.

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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:33 pm 
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Lonedar wrote:
Kaffis Mark V wrote:
Screeling wrote:
Dude, asking for a smoke was my best ice-breaker in bars when approaching hot chicks that smoke. I didn't smoke at all, but I could fake it pretty well. Worked well for me on many occasions.

But it only works for chicks that smoke. Serious downfall, man. ;)


I am going to have to break with conventional wisdom.

Kissing a smoker is NOT like licking an ashtray.

This is true. After the first 10 seconds of making out, you're well past any initial bad tastes.

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