The Glade 4.0

Since I have nothing concrete to go on, all I can believe is that I am lacking some random quality that women want.

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I've asked many women out on dates in my time. I've gone out on a few first dates, but they were just that -- first dates. Never amounted to anything.

As a 30-something, it's pretty much pointless now. I'm screwed either way -- Women younger than me change their mind every second about what they want, so we will just end up splitting up; women my age all want children, which I cannot give them; women older than me want financial stability, which I also cannot give them.

Find a cougar club.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Does it always have to amount to something? Just go out and have fun and don't put tons of expectations on it.

At 30 it's pointless? Damn, I only have 2 years left? It's only pointless if you let it be.

/shrug as to money? some want that, sure, some don't really care. Same with kids, some want them, some don't. But if you don't look, you for sure won't have a relationship the rest of your life.

When you start taking your life in your hands and doing what you want, instead of blaming women for not wanting you..that will be when you find someone.

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

I don't blame women for not wanting me, just pointing out that they don't for (fill in the blank) reason. If anything, it's my fault for not being able to provide them with what they are looking for.

And I have looked -- acquaintances from college, co-workers, mutual friends, dating sites.

Nothing.

Pardon me, then..sounded like you were blaming women when u said you don't have whatever they want Enough to deem you relationship material.

Who cares what they want, if you try to be something you aren't...doesn't work. Just be you. You are a nice looking guy, just need to keep trying and be happy with you and who you are.

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

I'm guessing you miss a lot of opportunities because you've already pre-determined the outcome.

With the attitude you have about it, you will never succeed, even if the perfect woman fell into your lap.

That exactly! Midgen, absolutely! I use the word blame, but it's the predetermination that they already don't want you because of <blank>.

Let a girl tell you they don't want you, don't already decide it for them before you even approach them..and if they don't? Who cares? Millions of us out there

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them." - "**** My Dad Says" (the Twitter account, before it became a mirthless TV show).

Every left shoe has a right to match.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

Meh, we are for the most part white or Asian on this board. These days in America we know little of true discrimination. None of these groups are truly "the most discriminated against". They are macro-groups where you can say one is more discriminated against than the other but there is nothing about being an American that gets us most discriminated status. No one kills us just for the tribe we come from, our women aren't systematically raped by soldiers on the other side. None of us are banned from grocery stores because we are single, married, a kid, or a color race or religion. Saying we are discriminated against here is whiny and non-credible.

We've got it so good here it is ridiculous. Even with the down-turned economy or our geekiness preventing some social relationships we have reasonable lives.

When was the last time you went hungry for a week because there was no food. How long have you lived outdoors because you couldn't afford a room, or because you would have been beaten up, raped or killed if you went somewhere to get warmth and shelter.

This is paradise in comparison to most places in the world. We can work together to make it even better, but no one on this board, right now, is suffering the way so many people in the world are.

You want a better life, go make one. There are some of us who can tell you how bad it can get here in the States. Our foreign friends on the board don't seem to have bad lives, they have pretty good ones actually.

Stop whining and go fix your problems. Years ago I gave Rynar a boot to the thought process and he thanks me for it on a regular basis. He's doing better today than most people I know. Go forth and do likewise.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Truth.

Thanks again, Mike.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

Going to be slightly blunt here, so please don’t take this the wrong way. Girls as a rule of thumb, don’t like losers. Stop reading here if you have already categorized yourself as one, because if you can’t date yourself, then others probably won’t either.

Now if you’re still reading, let me define what I mean by loser. Remember that this is highly generalized and should always be taken as a grain of salt.

Girls like guys who are nice, but they don’t date nice guys. Nice guys are the ones who do everything story book, but don’t forgot fairy tales are written for kids. If you don’t have the guts to push for that little innocent pash first date, then you’re a nice guy and will probably be friended. If you push and get a polite no, then you’ve already been friended. If you push and get a maybe, then she’s interested and push your luck (obviously not in a sleazy way) however never go beyond a pash on the first date. This will keep her guessing and thinking about you.

This probably comes as a shock to most guys, but girls who are on average considered hot are just normal girls who gets hit on by sleazes a lot more. Most of them aren’t as stuck up as people think (this is limited to the more mature girls on average over the age of 25). If you don’t have the courage or self confidence to walk up to someone regardless of their looks and start a conversation, then you are simply discriminating yourself and need to reassess.

Now if you’re still reading, next part is to increase your value. I’m not just talking about monetary. Girls like guys who are interesting, have their own goals and aspirations and ideas about how to get there. If you’re going to spend the whole first date listening to her talk about her self, you’ll come across as boring and nice. This is to be avoided as it lead to the dreaded friend zone. First dates are like a job interview and some preparation of what is acceptable to say, what isn’t, what’s funny, whats inappropriate should be studied. Yes it sounds geeky, but trust me everyone else is doing it and just not telling you.

You mentioned you don’t have that something girls are looking for. I believe its stability. Again most people equate stability to money, it doesn’t always. Stability equates to survival. If you can’t even keep yourself alive, then girl’s will push you into the friend zone. This is simply because they don’t want to date a kid, they prefer men. On your first date, work in how well you’re looking after your own life, but how you’re missing that little something to make it that extra bit special. You don’t need a relationship, they are just that much wanted cherry on the cake.

Since you’ve already gone on a few dates, I’d say that you’re not considered un-datable. You just need to work on your self worth and build a little confidence. Most importantly sweetie, remember you gotta love who you are, before others will. Girls are soul sucking monsters who can smell fear a billion miles away, but if you believe you’re worth their love, they eventually turn into soft fluffy kitten who just want to be snuggled up to.

That’s just my take so far, like I said, I apologize if I offended, as that’s not the intention. Remember you’re only worth what you tell others you’re worth, and right now, you’re really short selling yourself.

Not offended Lydiaa, enlightened. Thanks for showing the cards.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Lydiaa is right, you are attending an interview. But lots of people forget this: Don't talk about yourself too much. 50/50 is fair, but remember you are also conducting an intewrview. My best advice is to talk about your ideals. Talk about who you are as a person and what you believe in. Get her to do the same. Ask her.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

Yeah as I went from early 20's to late 20's and into the 30's dates were not about worrying if she will like me, they came to be me worrying if she will be interesting enough to be worth my time.

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"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

Do I know you from somewhere?

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What's a pash? Is it Aussie for a drunken-hander?

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It's really about confidence.

A couple of successes will breed more success.

Girls dig confident guys.

See?? They are so discriminated against they aren't even permitted to be in consideration for the most discriminated group.

Look at it this way: you've been on dates. You have a chance!

Me? Never. Not once. 27 years a week from Wednesday, not once. I'm a booty call, not a relationship.

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Grenade 3 Sports Drink. It's fire in the hole.. Your hole!

Woohoo! A new quote for my sig!

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Darksiege: You are not a god damned vulcan homie.

French kiss, if I'm not mistaken; passionate kiss-> pash.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

Sometimes you just have to use a shoehorn.

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Sail forth! steer for the deep waters only!
Reckless, O soul, exploring, I with thee, and thou with me;
For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go,
And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.

Rofl +3 win for Stathol

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

The book was pretty entertaining. "No woman will want to lay you if you wouldn't lay yourself."

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"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn