The Glade 4.0

What does a basket of 30+ year old toys, 3 wax candles, a bucket of hair curlers and a (very old) toilet plunger have in common?

Answer: All of these are the "toys" my son gets to play with when he is being babysat by my parents.

This kid is going to get so sick of what my mom has to offer as he gets older. He is growing up with technology all around him (He loves doing the interactive flash cards on our iPod Touches). He has tons of new toys at home, the in-laws keep buying new toys for him, and his GREAT AUNT, who only watches him once a week, buys toys for him.

My mom just plays with whatever is at hand and refuses to get anything new for him. I had to practically demand that they get a pack and play for him to sleep in as he was getting more mobile. Up until they had one, he was sleeping on a blanket on the floor. Every toy that he has at her house was something my brother and I used to play with when we were his age. We are talking toys that are over 30 years old. She thinks everything that he plays with that used to be mine is of ultimate sentimental value.

I can't figure this nutty woman whom I am obliged to call my mother out.

I don't think I could or would ever wish anyone dead, but I sure wish she would just move far, far away.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

You may just have to provide things quietly and naturally without explanation.

My maternal grandfather was hard to get along with as a child. I'm glad my parents tried and He made it for me to get to know him as an adult. My other grandfather was great as far as I know, but he died when I was like four.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at here other than with two grandparents gone ahead now and a another mentally absent, I don't feel like the time was too much or wasted.

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I prefer to think of them as "Fighting evil in another dimension"

I dunno. I can sort of sympathize with your mom a bit, on this one.

I know I used to get a kick out of playing with my Dad's old toys when we'd visit my grandparents. Old board games (Chinese Checkers, on a tin board!), the little board with the rails where you try to roll the ball "uphill" by adjusting the angle of the rails to build momentum and get it to land in the higher scoring holes near the top, his old Lionel trains...

I think a lot of it is about attitude, too. Sure, I was accustomed to having video games and computers around, but right now, your son's probably too young to care about the difference, and as he gets a little older, it can be communicated to him that this is what daddy used to play with, and that can be interesting and fun in its own right, particularly if you get involved and tell him a little about your childhood, I think.

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

I never got tired of playing with my parents 30-year old toys.

In fact, what you describe sounds pretty much exactly like how my Grandmother would take care of me. It never bothered me much....

I think your attitude towards it will help your son adapt (as Kaffis said) if you're outraged that your mother isn't buying him new toys, then he will be to. If you show him that they can be fun, then he'll have fun.

Think of it as a way to develop his creativity and imagination, as well as helping him realize that you don't need high-tech stuff to have fun.

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Darksiege: You are not a god damned vulcan homie.

I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't understand why it's your mom's responsibility to buy him toys.

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The Dude abides.

That's nothing. Last time I was over at my grandmother's, my nieces were playing with my dad's old toys. Other things we had to play with over there were a sledgehammer, a mining pick, and a twelve foot tall pile of gravel that my grandfather kept near the house. My other grandmother didn't have any toys over at her house, although she visited us more than we visited her.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

It is hard for me to convey exactly what I am trying to say here.

Those who don't know my mother, don't quite get what the point of my rant is.

For that, I apologize. I am not trying to say she HAS TO buy him toys. There is just so much to the crazy history of this woman, I can't fully explain it here.

I appreciate the comments, but I guess in reality, all I was looking for was a place to vent my eternal frustration with her. I will comment no further because I don't want to come off sounding like I am demanding things of her because that isn't really what I am trying to get across.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not get crazy here.

Foamy, I'm not ignoring your history with the woman, which you've shared with us in the past. I was just trying to suggest that perhaps in this instance, your history with her is creating a problem which needn't exist, and perhaps you can approach this one from a direction which you weren't considering.

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

I don't think those of us who have read your previous posts about your issues with your mother would deny that the two of you have not exactly had the best relationship.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

Maybe as a toddler, you could have fun without high tech toys...but my age? Don't think it's a possibility.. Of course, I'm not the one going to Foamy's mother's house, so not a problem.


Foamy, you are just thinking like a parent would.. You want your child to be comfy and surrounded by familiar things, and to be challenged with the high tech toys there are out there. And with your history with your Mom, understandable to be frustrated.

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

While I'm not sure of the entertainment value of candles, hair curlers, and a toilet plunger ...

Well, let me rephrase that, I'm not sure as a parent how much entertainment value candles, hair curlers, and a toilet plunger possess. As a child, I'm sure I could have come up with any number of things, and as an adult a few activities spring to mind. All that aside, though, I don't see anything wrong with 30 year old toys. If we're talking Fisher Price kids toys, I don't know that there's any significant difference between then and now. If we're talking Hot Wheels, G.I. Joe, Star Wars, He-Man, etc., any kid could get the same entertainment from those as he could from anything today.

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Example of what leads to my frustration:

Child at my mother's house
Problem: dirty clothes from outside play or messy feeding or peed through while napping.

Solution: my mother puts said dirty clothes in a plastic bag and leaves them in the diaper bag for me to take home to wash.

Child at Oonagh's Aunt's house
Same problem as above.

Solution: Washed clothes. After washing his dirty jacket from being outside, she noticed a rip. This was sewn. When he was outside playing in the same jacket on the same day, it got dirty again. She washed the jacket a second time.

My mother seems oblivious to the rest of the world and its reality. She does things her way and it is nearly impossible to get her to deviate from said ways. As she was to be a babysitter for 2 days of the week, she needed something for him to sleep in rather than a blanket on the floor and I had to TELL HER this. She was going to use a rickety old wooden high chair for him that had no safety straps to speak of and this was to be perfectly OK with her. We provided the strap on booster seat for her. She believes that since what worked for her as a mother 36 years ago is perfectly fine today and doesn't like being told otherwise. I have to fight with her for the simplest of things.

I am not in any way saying that she has to buy shiny new toys or flashy tech stuff, but this is a woman who won't even pick up a used toy from a thrift shop or a garage sale. Everything has to be the way it was when she raised me and my brother and woe betide the person who tries to tell her otherwise.

The booster seat I provided them was strapped onto a light wicker chair. This was fine when Sean was smaller and not as strong or vigourous. I witnessed him make a move (with my parents right by him) in this configuration that lifted the rear chair legs and would have toppled him forward while strapped in. My dad was right there and simply held the chair. OK, got him this time, but I wanted to make sure this wasn't to happen again in the case they stepped away for a moment while he was thusly strapped in. The following was said immediately after I witnessed this:

Me: Mom, time to put that booster on a sturdier chair (They have a nice heavy wooden chair that is wider based and significantly heavier)

Mom: Thats OK, we're always right here with him.

Me: In case you step away, that is very unsteady.

Dad: (repeats basically the same as my mother)

Me: (Now agitated and stating firmly) I want it on a sturdier chair.

A normal person would see and understand my concern and, for that matter, agree that it is a safety hazard. They, moreso she, seem oblivious to this and want only to continue doing things as before. I have to force their hand to take care of things that ANYONE in the care of a small child would see for themselves. I really believe that she thinks that nothing could possibly even happen to him in their care and I find myself a little concerned that she would know how to handle it should an emergency arise.

I could go on and on and on...

So that all being said and to reiterate, this isn't about the fact that she isn't buying him anything. It is the endless frustrations of having to deal with a woman (whom I unfortunately have to call my mother) who thinks she knows it all and can't be told otherwise.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

Never bought a toy for a kid and they end up playing with the box?

Bleh, anyway all these high tech toys kids have nowadays, it's no good for them. Everything has to be blinking and glowing and making noise, there's no room for imagination.



This is nature's way of teaching a kid "don't rock the chair around vigorously when you're sitting in it." Best reinforced by the attending adult referencing how stunada you are



Yeah... well it'll probably be like that for you someday too Although I can certainly understand there are more pieces to this, based on your past experiences with your mom.

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It's a power struggle, right, Foamy? She just can't take your advice.

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

I can't comment on the thread as a whole, but... a toilet plunger? Um, wow....

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Vindi:

Sure I understand the sentimental value of playing with a toy that was your daddy's or mommy's, or perhaps a few of the same. When it is EVERY GODDAMN thing that he touches that was mine or my brother's and my mom each and every time says to us "Foamy (or FoamyBro) do you remember this toy?" or "Do you remember playing with this toy?" it loses much of its sentimentality and gets old really quickly.

Kirra:

Yup. She doesn't like the fact that things have changed since she raised us. She needs to be told and she hates every second of it. Oonagh and I were stating our wishes for his sleep schedule about a year ago. She didn't want to comply because she "raised two kids" and basically was telling us she knows what she is doing and doesn't want to be told otherwise, this led to the fallout that forced me to keep myself and Sean away from them for two months.

She knows everything and can't tolerate being told anything to the contrary. Even if it is the wishes of the parents of the child in her care.

EDIT - Editted for run on sentence. Damn you Khross for making me think of grammar and sentence structure.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

See guys...not about the toys, Foamy just needs a vent place for frustration that his mom won't give him the respect due as Sean's father.


Hugs Foamy, rant away . It does help!

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

Meh. I've had people making me think of grammar way before I met Khross. And I still don't give a **** about run-ons.

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

There are zero toys at my parent's place. We generally bring a few things, and he plays out on the farm or in the garden, etc.

Ara...do your parents ignore everything you say and do it their way? Say...if your child had a cold...and you want him to stay inside instead of playing outside on the farm. Would they ignore your request and say "we used to let little Ara play outside every day, the fresh air kicks a cold"..


Just an example of what I think Foamy is ranting about..not the toy issue.

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

What Kirra said.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

The toys thing isn't an issue. Some of my best times were in cardboard boxed and wrapping paper tubes.

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"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

I'm sure she sees the perfection that is you and your brother, and he wants to replicate the feat.

Oh, and this is my first comment, I'm not sure who you were addressing before...

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

All of us cheeseheads look alike.

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lol

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko