The Glade 4.0

I have developed a process that converts sugar and salt into petroleum fuel. As of right now, my production costs are $0.30 for a gallon of petroleum.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

Sweet. I'm wiring you my investment now.

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

I'm waiting for the punchline

Here's the proof:

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

Good enough for me! It's all scientific, and stuff! See, the salt and the sugar make the oil. Just like the pictures prove!

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

I will now be accepting funding through my PayPal account. PM me for further details.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

This.

It's like Osama's death! HAHAHAHA

God damn you're a comedic genius.

I completely see why you would come here to find some investors... =)

You're mistaken. I don't give a flying **** about Osama Bin Laden. I just want money for my research.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

I've got $.75 and a few pennies. Send me a stamp and an envelope and a mailing address.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Yeah, that was my thought too.

I would be more than happy to hear your wild theories, provided they are accompanied by a monetary donation of at least 10,000USD.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

That's actually a fairly lucrative business model, although the price point is perhaps excessive. If you stand around at a poker tournament with a sign that reads "I will listen to your bad beat story for $1", you can get a line out into the parking lot with people holding dollars and just waiting to give them to you.

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Brilliant.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I don't see any relation between this thread and Osama's death. There's nothing similar at all for it to be an appropriate metaphor.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

Perhaps he also developed a process that converts transparent threads into terrible metaphors?

There is actually some evidence of this...

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

Now now, just because the Osama Bin Laden thread convinced me that P.T. Barnum was right is no reason to get upset. My intentions aren't anywhere near so highbrow as to make any witty points. I'm just trying to take advantage of a bunch of gullible suckers. You all didn't bite, and I'm out ten seconds of my time. All in all, it was worth a shot.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

Bu tthere is such a process, I even think Mother Nature's patent has run out.

Feed sugar and/or salt to plants and animals. Let them die, be covered by other debris, repeat ad nauseum. Wait 100 million years or until or until the black goo is distallable into fuel.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Try a different forum. We're on to your games.

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"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

You should patent this before someone else steals the idea.

The funniest part of that is that it wouldn't even be a good investment. I currently costs about $0.10/gallon for exploration and whatnot to find a gallon of oil, and about $0.10/gallon to extract it. So oil's still cheaper.

Aren't there massive production and transportation costs?