The Glade 4.0

Yeah LK, god forbid a woman be up front about how she feels and what she wants :p

I don't think you can be a 'great woman' if you'd neglect to tell someone about their possible STD risk. If it weren't for that I might have stayed out of it.




That's not what this is about... DE is suggesting withholding information to avoid drama. That's not being 'up front' about anything.

Yeah, I believe you guys call them "lesbians."

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Sorry Taam, my original reading of your post was apparently a little too quick.

I don't see that being dragged into someone else's issues creates any obligation on your part to be "up front". You shouldn't lie about anything, but someone else's STD risk is really not your problem except to the extent that you want it to be. You have to do what you have to do for your conscience, but don't kid yourself - there was no obligation there.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

See, that totally goes against the good girl code.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Which is why that code needs to be subject to male review.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

Ha!

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Easy.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

You seriously wouldn't feel obligated to tell a friend if you knew they were being cheated on and could potentially catch something?

Send her an anonymous email.

A friend is a different story. I'm talking about people you have no meaningful connection to, such as women who send you emails starting "dear Taamar, you don't know me..."

A friend, I might or might not. Is the real issue the cheating, or the STD potential, and if the latter, why is that potential there? Is there any reason beyond "they may have had unprotected sex"? What are these people like? Is this likely to become a pain in the *** or even a threat to my wife and kids if I get involved?

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

Ah, I see. I have no meaningful connection to the girl who sent me the email, but Eric's wife IS a friend, and has been raising my son. I feel I owe her more than I would owe a random stranger. And the cheating IS the reason to have concern about STDs.... it's an ongoing pattern of his, and he's demonstrated willingness to bareback a woman he just met (had a vasectomy a year ago and surely thinks he's invincible)... even with her out of the picture he's probably doing it with others. If he were having safe sex I'd probably have decided that she's happier not knowing, since his actions out of town don't really affect her life. A pain in the ***? There's nothing he can do to me. A threat to my family? He's 2000 miles away, has his hands full already, and has a history of ignoring anyone who calls him on his lies.

Ah, I see. That makes your feelings more clear; I did not understand this.



Well, I was referring to your question "if it were my friend" and I wasn't thinking of a friend that lives 2000 miles away.

As to the rest.. STDs are a concern, but, if it weren't for the fact that you consider your ex's wife a friend, none of that about STDs would sway me. If not.. well, that's a pretty generalized risk of STDs. I'd have to know something elevating the risk beyond the basic risk of "unprotected sex" before it would push me to get involved, especially since it's likely to already be too late by the time I get involved anyhow.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

Should I allow Taamar's general goodwill towards the new wife to influence whether I wish her ex-husband karma herpes?

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

Don't **** kid yourself. If Karma Herpes exists, we all have Karma Herpes.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

The update:

Carmen flew out to Chicago the day after we talked and basically nailed Eric to a wall. He's going to find a job that doesn't require travel, and they are going into counseling. She thanked me again. He hasn't contacted me.

Awesome sauce.

Pretty sure I don't. I always used Karmdoms.

I prefer Karmsubs.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Karmstinence works pretty well for me.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

I just avoid my Karm-ex (don't care for the tingling sensation) and am glad he hasn't become a Carm-ex.

Actually, I thought the point of warning his wife of his behavior was:

1) So she could make sure to get tested and protect herself from STDs...
2) So she could make an informed decision whether he'd be a Carm-ex or not...

Or am I misunderstanding the pun?

I do find the nature of the douchebag behavior a little amusing, perhaps even ironic, given the family crest.

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Once, I was a ranger
Then, I was a warlock
And a mage
And a paladin
Now, I seek to be myself

Yes. It's her decision, but in the end I'm selfishly glad that she's chosen not to disrupt my son's senior year in high school with a divorce, despite the fact that I'd love to have him out here even for just the last year.

You did the right thing Taamar, it took a lot of guts to do that to a friend... good on ya *hugs*