The Glade 4.0

My urethra is 3/4" long, and childbirth damages the elasticity of the relevant sphincter. And women's clothes are more difficult to remove due to the shape of hips and hiney . By the time I've handled them I need to plunk down or the floor is getting wet. Seriously, our physiology is working against us in the 'hold it just two more seconds to check and adjust the seat' arena. Hell, half the time I DO back into the bathroom, pants already unbuttoned and halfway down, saving those few precious milliseconds that mean I'm not going to have to mop today. You guys with your long urethra and undamaged PC muscles have no idea how urgent the 'gotta go NOW' can be... the sensation is 'peeing is about to happen, place yourself immediately' and not 'OK, now find a comfy place to sit and relax to let down'.

But, of course, not giving a s*** about your fellow human is your right, and the fact that you think we'd hurt ourselves on purpose to try to guilt you says more about you than about us.


Does it need to be about fault? Or can it be about caring for someone and wanting to do what you can to make her life easier? Regarding 'is it that hard', read the above. it's not that hard for YOU. It's not as easy for us. Your peeing experiences as a male are not shared by the women of the world. If it's easy why are you working so hard to justify not doing it?

In the interest of fairness and gender equality, I propose that from now on, men should all just whip it out without looking and pee all over whatever happens to be in the way.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

Taamar, I think that goes back to Shel's point about 'teaching' vs 'fine tuning'.

I think that if the guys parents didn't teach them to be considerate of other human beings, it's probably too late, unless you get them very young, and they are still impressionable.

If someone isn't taught to care about others when they are young, it's going to be very hard to teach them to once they become adults.

If I have to put the seat up, she can put it down.

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Los Angeles Kings 2014 Stanley Cup Champions

"I love this **** team right here."
-Jonathan Quick

Sorting the laundry is one thing. We don't get that because we don't really have clothes that require it be done. That's a fair complaint.

The toilet seat thing isn't about courtesy, though. That's all about catering. There's something very basic about that which women don't understand. You're all grown adult, strong, independent women. If you want to wait until an absolute dire emergency to pee, that's up to you. If you don't want to be bothered to turn on the light and look before you plop down, that's your decision. You're grown women. You make your own decisions, including the bad ones.

Ladies, we've been jacking off since we were twelve. If we have to use our hands, we'll use our hands. That Pink song about us and our hands? That's not an insult. That's several nights a week, single, dating, or married.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

TBH I'd rather not see someone than have to put the seat down, that's something I wouldn't compromise on. It's a huge hassle. If my roommate ever asked to, I'd say no, and that's that. I've never put the seat down in my life, except maybe a couple times when visiting someone.

So.... I guess it makes me even more of an ******* when I lower not only the seat, but close the lid too? (I do not do it for sanitary reasons, but I do not really want to think: "my head and my *** have both been in that little hole", so I lower the seat and lid... out of sight, out of mind.)

and... my SO has had 4 kids (whatever bodily damage that results in), and she can still manage to get to the toilet before it becomes an "oh ****, must go now!" emergency.

For all of our faults.... Lisa and I have never had any issues with the lid/seat.

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Darksiege
Traveller, Calé, Whisperer
Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut

Then don't wait til the last possible second until you have to pee.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

My wife and I usually compromise on the "both lids closed" thing. It works out quite well. That said, neither of us think it's a big deal to either lift the lid or put it down, so it's not usually an issue.

We've mostly solved our laundry issue: We each do our own. That way, I don't get yelled at for not doing all of her clothes the "right" way. and all of mine can be washed the same way, mostly- low heat, cold water, and don't quite dry all the way.

We have the continual fight about dirty clothes "around", but since we've separated the laundry and each have a permanent basket, it works better.

One thing that I think is quite important is for each person to have some space that they feel is theirs- I have a basement man cave, that while she may occasionally have issues with, is mostly mine. Similarly, I try to keep our bedroom to whatever standards she sets. That way, we each have a portion of the house that we have primary control over. It works quite well.

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Darksiege: You are not a god damned vulcan homie.

That's that sensitive pony-tail talking. I think it might be too tight.

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"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Medical fact that after child birth some women have trouble with bladder continence. Taamar found someone who cares enough about her to work out things in their life, Go Shel!

Rynar, Raltar, and Lex won't compromise on the toilet lid shutting issue, so, they will have to find a woman that doesn't have an issue with that.

/shrug It's all about mutual respect in a relationship, you work things out as you go, or the issues become dealbreakers and you kick their *** out. Everyone has a tolerance level..but it certainly doesn't make you stupid for doing something for someone you love just for the fact that it helps them out. Im sure this applies to many things women do for men too.

If you absolutely don't want to compromise on anything absolutely ever? Well, good luck with a solitary life.

Lydiaa, I'm sure knows these things she will find a happy medium with this guy!! Good luck Lyds!!

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

Lydiaa has no children that I am aware of. This is a non-issue for her. Her lumping of this concern in with the rest of the trivial things she is complaining about, and her methods of "training" include things like "ignoring him"... are you **** serious?

In Lydiaa's mind her man is like a child or some poor dog unfortunate enough to come under her ownership. I wonder how he would respond to the horse **** she's posted here were he to read it? My guess is, that if he had any self respect at all, he would pack his **** and leave... but then maybe Lydiaa doesn't want a man with self respect. Perhaps she wants a house boy who will jump exactly as high as she asks, and never do anything to upset her.

I never want to read anything from any of you about the "rampant misogyny" on this board again. That's all from me, I'm going to "train" my wife to wash the **** dishes better, and do my **** laundry. ***** better make me dinner, too.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

Damn, Rynar...do you have anger issues?

Oh wait...this is a rant and rave forum...

Carry on ;p

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

It's fine to leave the seat down. Just expect some dried piss on it if the initial squib valve burst causes a pressurized trajectory which would have otherwise hit the back the bowl if not for the now impeding seat.

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"It's real, grew up in trife life, the times of white lines
The hype vice, murderous nighttimes and knife fights invite crimes" - Nasir Jones

Um.. this thread is a joke too right?

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Of course it is . Rants and Raves are just that..sometimes you get the sympathy and agreement you want, sometimes ... Not so much. But my guess is, it's just a silly thing to rant about and then it's over and you don't take it out on your SO.

No?

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

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Hokanu
Duty is a magnificent blessing because it is the sign of trust from the universe.
END OF LINE.

Wow. Some thoughts on this thread:

First, to Lydiaa on the OP:

(1) once one has children, an average man's slightly less honed sense of neatness is no longer noticeable, because all kids are natural slobs. (2) Dishwashers should not require pre-rinsed dishes. Yeah, you shouldn't be putting solid food in the dishwasher, but rinsing the dishes first is overkill. That's why the dishwasher has a pre-rinse cycle. (3) **** if I separate clothes that well either. I hate doing laundry. (4) Okay, I won't argue that one, because my husband rarely leaves the seat up. (5) He's more likely to eat the leftovers than I am.


Shuyung/Sereniya: Good point, Shuyung. In fact, watching a man take the initiative to go do the laundry is a better aphrodisiac than tequila. It gets my panties off, and it's not a positive reinforcement ploy...

On toilet seats-
Amusing anecdote: My 8 year old boy is most likely to leave it up. The loudest complaint i've heard about it when he has done so has come from my husband, after he rushed to the bathroom in gastrointestinal distress of some sort or another. Which brings us to the most logical reason to leave the seat down: Men will also occasionally suffer if it is left up. Men sometimes sit down, women never stand up.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

I only used training as a tongue in cheek kinda thing, cause we're also currently training the cats to use the actual toilet. Didnt think it would cause this much drama actually... but if it makes all the ones who feel offended by it better, I do apologise.

As for the ignoring part. I don't like to nag, I never wanted to become someone's mother when I move in with them. If you're not going to listen to me, then I simply won't say anything the next time. (this phase came after the nagging one) If I can deal with it, I will... this is a ranting forum, I was simply hoping to get some ideas from both genders on what works and what doesnt work when co-habiting... of course the ranting section of it also helped =P

This is my first time co-habiting... Ever. This is also the first time he's co-habited and just a couple of things that cropped up that seems to always slip his mind. It's not a deal breaker, but it would be better if he did somethings better...

First of all I agree with Rynar, I'm a HUGE princess. Part of that comes from being an only child, part of that comes from personality and my line of work. I like my house clean... after having to sort out everyone else's mess at work, when I come home I don't want to have to sort out his mess too. (he's a day trader so he's home all day, I officially work 40 hours a week, but it usually gets to about 60 give or take). Maybe Talya's right, once I have kids, I won't be as worried about the mess, but it's just the environment I grew up in. My parents were not very tolerable of mess around the house. My computer desk on the other hand is another matter lol (as in paper, drinks everywhere =P)

Now, there are reasons why I complain about the things I did, and I think it would be better qualified:

Missing the hamper - we have a small place, and the hamper rests in the ensuit. This means when he misses the hamper, it goes all over the bathroom floor. He wears silk boxers. silk + tiles = danger. (I may go with the 2 hamper idea and get him his own.)

Dish washer - it's fixed in my wall. I might go investigate into a more heavy duty version. Because I am not very good at cooking, I bake a lot. Mostly roast. Those pans do not go well with my current dish washer, and it gets ikky and all over the floor. Our kitchen is attached to the living room (open plan kinda thing) and it's gone onto the carpet once. Thus why I request he rince.

seperating clothes - I .. for some unknown reason, have a lot of white clothes. I also have a lot of stuff that needs delicate washing (mostly lace). I already have ruined quite a few items because he just throws them in. keep in mind we try to take turns doing everything around the house... (I think i'll go with doing my own laundry for now, even if it might be a bit more water and electricity, but my clothes are safer lol)

toilet seat - I haven't had children yet, but I have never had a very strong bladder. two things here 1) I live very far from work and it's about a 2 hour drive. When I get home, I'm twisting my legs and thinking of anything but waterfalls. I also don't like to turn on the lights at night because I need to get back to sleep ASAP for work. 2) my butt fits so snugly into the bowl to the point where I can't get back out by myself. kodak moment then follows >.<

left overs... any suggestions? I got some from co-workers to freeze them, then bring them out another day as freshly cooked stuff. I'm trying that this week to see how it goes.

Thanks for all the comments, even the negative ones. It's nice to see the other perspective now and then in brutal honesty. He's the type that hates anything resembling an argument and just walks away, it's hard to get his perspective at times.

A dim night light in the bathroom?
Start taking correspondence courses from Rynar and Taamar on how to improve your cooking skills?
Take away all his silk boxers and give him polyester ones until he learns (I cringe).

By the way, can we have a handle for this guy so we can think of him as more than the luckiest guy in Australia?

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

I'm still of the mind that this whole big seat debate is a small thing. If you can't let love cover this small thing for your SO, then you're going to have bigger issues.

Of course that doesn't mean we shouldn't simultaneously both man and woman endeavor to prefer our SO over our self.

Also after thinking about it I discovered while living with a woman sitting all the time made my life easier than standing up to #1.

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I prefer to think of them as "Fighting evil in another dimension"

Long story Michael. When I get a break this afternoon at work, I will PM you.

*grin*

Well, that's different!

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When he's underwater does he get wet? Or does the water get him instead?

Ask him to please put them in the basket - in a polite, non-nagging kind of way. Getting the clothes in the basket is not a matter of national security; don't make it sound like it is.



This depends on the dish in question. For many dishes.. that's why the dishwasher is there. Restrict your cricticisms to those dishes that REALLY need rinsing.



Wash the delicates yourself. If he's doing the washing, let him do it his own way. My wife does all the washing, and I thereofre, don't tell her how to do it, with the exception that my uniforms must be hung up a certain way, but I iron those myself anyhow.



Put the toilet seat down yourself. There's no reason you can't. He lifts it himself when he has to go.



As long as you're eating your share of leftovers, point out that they need to be eaten up. He'll most likely lose this tendancy if you end up with kids together and he sees THEM wasting food, so be patient.



All of these suck. Take down the signs, quit making lists, and drop the nagging and ignoring. Remember, it is not YOUR house; its one you share, and no, I don't care who is paying the rent; its a romantic relationship/ You don't get to make rules for him any more than he gets to make them for you. Ask nicely, like an adult, and don't presume that female ire is going to work.



Yes, it is. I imagine he could make an equal list of your habits. You have some valid complaints, but accept right now that you do not always get your way.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

One I have seen work is the solution that what is on the floor is trash, what is in the basket is laundry. Then you make sure he sees his favorite shirt in the bag as you take out the trash.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones