The Glade 4.0

And don't say use a grill because we don't have one.

I've never cooked boneless beef ribs before, but I bought a package to cook in the crockpot because I've heard people rave about them. I found an oven recipe and decided to try that instead. I checked several recipes and cooking methods and they all seemed to agree: Douse in BBQ sauce, wrap in aluminum foil, bake at 350 for an hour and a half until thermometer registers 160.

I did that.

They were inedible. Literally. So tough and dry and chewy you could not eat them.

I haven't screwed up in the kitchen in a long time.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

If you're doing oven style, I'd put a dry rub on them, wrap them in foil and cook at a muuuuuch lower temp (below 200) for about twice as long. Half way though I'd baste with a bit of apple juice and brown sugar (paste consistency). About 15 minutes before pulling out, I'd baste with BBQ if you desire. I'd shoot for 135 (NOT 160) before pulling, then let rest.

I don't care what the USDA says 160 is just too damn high.

edit: I'm sure you know that however you do it, someone will tell you you are committing food blasphemy, so don't sweat it.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

Use a grill next time!

Ribs should be done low and slow. Next time maybe marinate them for a few hours, then pat dry and dry rub before cooking.

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"Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use one!"~ Matthew Quigley

"nothing like a little meow in bed at night" ~ Bruskey

"I gotta float my stick same as you" Hondo Lane

"Fill your hand you son of a *****!"

Vindi is correct. You cooked them too hard. Cut shallow slits in them, and rub in crushed garlic, then pat them dry and rub them with a spicy ancho and chilli based rub cut hard with brown sugar. Place them on a low rack and place the rack in a pan. Pour a small amount of liquid smoke, bourbon, and white wine. Cover the pan first in plastic wrap, then in foil (this will allow the ribs to steam above the liquid). Cook for for about 8 hours at 150ish.

Remove from pan and coat lightly with your BBQ sauce of choice. Finish on the grill (less than 1 minute on each side, you are only charting the sauce slightly. The meat is already cooked).

Yes, you'll need to buy a cheap charcoal grill, but it will cost you less than that silly fridge, and I'd bet, dollars to doughnuts, that NF would actually be grateful for this purchase.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

Thanks, guys (and Jasmy), for the tips. Maybe I'll try them again in a couple of weeks.
The dogs ate well last night...

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

I guess so...

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Rynar said it: Long, low, and slow.

I'm fairly certain your first mistake was not asking me how to turn that $35 Frigidaire into an indirect heat barbecue and smoker.

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Everybody has already said to go low and slow but it wasn't until about a year ago that I learned why you want to go low and slow. Maybe this will help you, too.

Ribs are from a load-bearing area of the cow and the meat is high in connective tissue made from collagen protein, which is tough and stringy. However, collagen starts to melt around 140-150 degrees and if you can melt most (or all) of it then the meat turns out tender and flavorful. It can take a while, though, which is why everybody suggested cooking it for 8+ hours. One hour isn't enough.

The muscle proteins are the opposite. They start out tender but once they start going over ~155 degrees they begin to contract and squeeze out the water in the meat, leaving it dry and tough. This is why even an expensive fillet (which has very little collagen) is chewy when it's cooked well-done.

The ribs were inedible because it was a double whammy of lots of collagen coupled with dried-out muscle. The sweet spot for beef is between 135 and 145 degrees. If you can cook it long enough even the cheapest cut of beef comes out tender and tasty. I've been using a home-made sous vide cooker for the last year and it makes cooking meat almost fool-proof (almost--one time I set it up wrong and boiled the meat for 24 hours. Even your dogs wouldn't have eaten it.) I cooked a chuck roast for 48 hours at 131 degrees that came out really good and you could cut it with a fork. Even better is that you get to look manly by finishing the steaks off with a blow torch. Well, maybe you don't care to look more manly but I need all the help I can get. I still haven't cooked really good BBQ ribs with it, though--nothing replaces a good smoker.