The Glade 4.0

I have been assaulted with a firearm twice, but never been shot.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

May have told some or all of this at one time. But it is a very little-known fact about me by most who know me.

I have been dumped on February 13th (day before Valentine's). The reason? She got engaged.

The lesser known fact about me is that I turned down her offer of pity sex after she broke me the news. She didn't call it that, of course. But I knew what it was. I did show up for the wedding reception for a very brief time. That was a bit awkward.

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Les Zombis et les Loups-Garous!

She thought I was 22 when she asked me out >.>

I've worked jobs that require me to be up early (4-5 AM) for over 30 years (paperboy, morning-day receiving clerk, USMC, USN and now Emergency Operations at the CDC). Am I ever going to choose a career where I get to sleep in?

I've known my wife for nearly 30 years now (and happily married for 16+).

I've never had detention.

I've never done illegal drugs (I'd say no drugsat all, but I got the Tylenol with Codine when I got my wisdom teeth pulled). I rarely take over the counter medication.

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Gorse

The reserve activated by itself. This could have been very bad, since if it had tangled in the main I'd have had no chutes. As it happened it inflated fully and all I had was a chipped tooth from the spring.. and a permanent fear of heights.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

That's scary. I was at my grandpa's side when he died. My fiancee (now wife) at the time was there too, and technically so was his wife but she was sleeping.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

My family doesn't know to this day that I was married.

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I have had exactly ONE sexual partner in my almost 37 years of life.

Also, I have ridden on the back of a trash truck in full rain gear as a tropical storm was making landfall right on the Jersey coast.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

Oh yeah, if I ever met Ben Stiller I'd punch him in the face for making terrible movies with good previews.

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I was once put in detention for reading a book.

I went to high school with Clark Kent (Tom Welling)

I'm a terrible driver. Luck or providence has kept me alive on the roads. I'm not reckless, (don't speed, etc)...just bad.

I've had the same janitor-sized key-ring since I was 16 years old. My first key ring I lost when the fell out of my pocket while hanging upside down and hanging lights for a production of The Mousetrap. It was the start of a surreal evening that culminated in me being screaming in terror in the back seat of a car doing 110 in a 25 zone, in the far left hand lane (against traffic) of a 5 lane road, while being kicked as the car's owner and her boyfriend made out next to me in the back seat, at 1:30 AM. I swore I would never again lose my keys--thus the huge keyring.

I was asexual (no sexual attraction to anyone) till I was almost 30.

I almost got into porn because of my ex gf that started doing porn and there were nude pictures of me online though they are gone now.

There was and still is a topless picture of me online :p

Huh. Google suddenly claims they may be experiencing a DOS attack.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

My brother played professional baseball.

I fly a 3-inch faux-hawk.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

I may be partially responsible for the meltdown of Howard Dean's 2004 presidential campaign.

Ok. How?

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"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

Lol! good luck finding it thru Google :p

Of course it really is pretty easy to find since it's on my deviantART page which my profile here has a link to, the only catch is you have to have a deviantART profile to see it cause it's flagged 18+.

You know the "Dean Scream"? I told him to do that.

J/k

Seriously though, I did some defensive oppo research for his campaign, and I missed a video of some negative comments he made years earlier about Iowa that ended up becoming a story just before the Caucus. Not a huge deal, but it definitely cost the campaign a news cycle at a really inconvenient moment.

So Obama really IS your fault, then?

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

Ha! Indirectly, I suppose.

I'm the best whistler I know (personally, at least).

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This cold and dark tormented hell
Is all I`ll ever know
So when you get to heaven
May the devil be the judge

Kurt Cobain and I had the same guitar instructor.

I have sat in the President's chair on a C-32A being used as Air Force One. (to be accurate, it had just finished being used as Air Force One)

I have pee'd in the highest lady's restroom in the in the second tallest building on the US west coast.

Psst, Sassy.

You posted a link to it on your home webspace in addition to the Deviantart link.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

Only with the pasties, I didn't link the sans-pasties one however :p