The Glade 4.0

I think you have your analogies mixed up. Banning lifejackets = banning condoms. Banning CPR = banning abortions.

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No, they both work. One naturally extends into the other.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Yes, let's make equivalents between human reproduction and drowning. That's an absolutely brilliant idea for the future of the species.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

So, I don't get this thread's point. I think it's something about abortion and drowning.

Are we advocating waterboarding babies now as a new abortion method?

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

Its comparing condoms to lifejackets, and pregnancy to drownings.

Metaphor wise, its not bad. After all, if you don't ever get wet, you can't drown.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Another lib swings and misses.

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"It is true that democracy undermines freedom when voters believe they can live off of others' productivity, when they modify the commandment: 'Thou shalt not steal, except by majority vote.' The politics of plunder is no doubt destructive of both morality and the division of labor."

<--- wayyy not a liberal, but I thought it was pretty good Aizle.

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(10:29:29 AM) Corolinth: Here's what gets me about this whole life jacket / Todd Akin thing.
(10:29:53 AM) Corolinth: So the major backers are pro-abortion women, right? Who go on and on about the rights of their bodies.
(10:30:02 AM) Corolinth: And fair enough, I support that aspect of the abortion debate.
(10:30:40 AM) Corolinth: These are often women who crusade for breastfeeding as well, because it's this beautiful bond between mother and child, and other such stuff.
(10:30:44 AM) Corolinth: So okay
(10:30:55 AM) Corolinth: Pregnancy and motherhood is beautiful, I got that.
(10:31:13 AM) Corolinth: But it's your body, you only want to go through it when you're ready for it. I can get on board with that.
(10:31:40 AM) Corolinth: But if pregnancy and motherhood is beautiful, why equate it with drowning?

Do you really want pregnancy and motherhood associated with suffering and death? The condom/life jacket thing is a red herring. First off, nobody's going to ban condoms. Second, people seeking abortions didn't use them in the first place. We're talking about abortion. Here's the thing: Pregnancy is a complicated issue. Women who are seeking abortions struggle with the decision. Nobody doubts that drowning is bad, and to be avoided.

So, do you really want pregnancy and abortion associated with drowning? Here's why you don't:

1) You liberals equate new life to drowning. Clearly you're all sociopaths.
2) Abortion is like drowning! Finally, you liberals understand it's bad. We need to ban abortion.
3) The only way not to have abortions is to have abstinence-only birth control.

Rock it to Russia, guys.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

^ Nice.

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Another snarkrage fail.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

Depends on which side of the issue you fall on.

I, who don't hold a lot of esteem for the sanctity of human life, found it pretty damn funny.

Others, who are probably better people than I, may not find it as amusing.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Which issue? Contraception? Water sports? Abortion? Akins? Is it relevant? Does it make logical sense? No, and no.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

Contraception and abortion. And yeah, it does tend to make sense.

After all, if you never go swimming(****), you won't ever need to worry about drowning(getting pregnant) will you?

Lifejackets(condoms) don't always prevent drowning(getting pregnant) but they're better for the casual swimmer(****) that doesn't want to drown(get pregnant).

But in some cases of being pushed in the water(rape) even though you may be drowning(pregnant) its OK, because your body has a way of rejecting that water(baby), so you shouldn't ever need CPR(abortions).

Its nowhere near as amusing when you have to spell it out. And to be fair, the "legitimate pushing" dig at Akin extends the metaphor a wee bit far, but eh.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Heh. Yeah, most of the Glade probably isn't going to find this funny. Personally, I thought the first part about lifejackets/condoms and abstinence was spot on, and the last bit, riffing off of Akin's idiocy, was decent. The second bit, though, trying to extend the joke to abortion, didn't really work.

Where's the big push to ban condoms again? Oh, that's right...

The whole thing falls apart right from the beginning.
Poorly thought out snarkrage.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

Not about banning condoms, but pushing abstinence only sex ed to the exclusion of contraception education etc.

But s'ok. Not everyone's gonna think its funny.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Then the headline should have read "We should do away with swim lessons..." or some such. Otherwise it falls apart right from the start.


It's interesting that one would explain it so thoroughly without mentioning sex ed, if that's "what it's about". I guess it's pretty poorly thought out snarkrage if multiple explanations coming from multiple angles can't make it a cogent message. But s'ok. Not everyone's gonna think.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

Well, there is a push to (i) prohibit the use of government funding (e.g. via Medicaid) for birth control, (ii) eliminate regulations requiring hospitals and health insurance to cover birth control, (iii) eliminate sex ed programs that teach about birth control, and (iv) permit individual states to outright ban birth control. The second-place finisher in the Republican Presidential primaries supported every one of those positions. And what do you think would be the next step for people pushing (i) through (iv) if states were again allowed to institute bans? So yeah, the snark isn't quite as outlandish as you seem to think.

Sorry, the fact that "the second place finisher" backed positions similar to what you decry, kinda belies the fact that it's a winning argument; he lost. Crisis averted.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

I didn't say it was a winning argument, just that there is a significant push for anti-birth control policies from a sizable contingent of the Republican party, and that makes the snark on that point reasonable. Imprecise, because it's humor not political analysis, but sufficiently on target to be effective parody.

Not to mention that evidently if a woman is drowning(pregnant) she should evidently be allowed to choose whether to get rescued (have an abortion) or swim to shore on her own (have the baby) but a man will keep getting whacked on the head with an oar until he's been in the water long enough because he should 'accept responsibility' (pay child support for years on end). It's hilarious that the idea that people should accept responsibility for the consequences of sex is treated as some sort of war on women, but suddenly becomes perfectly valid reasoning when applied to men.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

Fine, let's make it "Ban teaching kids how to use Lifejackets, they only encourage risky behavior".

Personally, I also think it would work with a "Ban on driver's ed teachers from teaching students to use a seatbelt when driving, as it will only encourage risky behavior".

And it's probably the closest metaphor to states pushing abstinence only education.

But I thought the original was pretty damn funny, myself.

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Darksiege: You are not a god damned vulcan homie.

Paying money =/= a distinct chance of death or serious medical complications.

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Darksiege: You are not a god damned vulcan homie.

It's obviously not "effective parody" if someone who "gets it" and appreciates it, explains it (in detail) without ever touching the supposed "point".

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko