The Glade 4.0

I have little sage advice to offer.

If she behaved this way with you, I'd say she's ripe for the plucking and you just have to get up the nerve to ask her out.

If she rejects you after that behavior, it is head games and she deserves a huge timeout on contact if not a permanent write off.

If you can work it in, try to get her to hang out with you and before asking her out, remind her of the day with the umbrella.

Then play 'Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows… under my umbrella.' Ask her out. Post details of how it goes.

Best of luck, Sassy.

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Once, I was a ranger
Then, I was a warlock
And a mage
And a paladin
Now, I seek to be myself

Would you rather know for sure that she won't go out with you, or would you rather live the rest of your life thinking "what if...?"

It might take time to get over rejection(if it even comes at all), but it's better than living your entire life miserable thinking about what could have been.

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Los Angeles Kings 2014 Stanley Cup Champions

"I love this **** team right here."
-Jonathan Quick

If this has been going on for 3 month... 6 month.. or hell maybe a year i'd agree...

But it's been 2 and a half years! No one plays head games this long if they are normal. (Sorry Sass).

She's teasing you and playing with your feelings. This girl is bad news imho. If she cared for your feelings at all during those 2 years, she would not have flirted and at the same time told you she was not interested in dating you. At the very least, she has some baggage which makes her less considerate of other's feelings. You have to ask yourself is this the kind of person you want to be going out with?

Sure it would be easy to ask her out and what not. IF she says no you do get some kinda closure. What if she says yes? Can you put up with her non-commitmentness? Considering she was cuddling you and stuff while her girl friend was present, could you handle it if you were her gf and she was doing it to someone else?

2 years is enough Sass, let it go.

Unfortunatly, yes, i've never been more sure of anything in my life than wanting to be with her.

Yes, she does have emotional baggage (I know fully to the extents at that cause she confided in me about it), yes she was cuddling with me when her GF was there (they broke up that night btw), but also these women she's been with, that one included treated her like crap and didn't really care about her, the worst part is she knew it, but she would let them back in over and over after they would **** her over her.

She's definitly coflicted with he commitment desires, she says she wants commitment, she acts like she wants it when she's in a relationship with someone and won't let them go even as they hurt her over and over again, but she picks all the ones that won't commit and treat her like crap. I do care about her though and wouldn't treat her like all those woman have so maybe things would be different, maybe not, I don't know, all I know is I do love her and would still without a 2nd thought start a relationship with her if she actually wanted to knowing full well that that could happen to me and my heart be broken probably even worse than it is right now, but I do know i'm different than anyone else she has dated, from what her cousin had told me all the women she's ever dated have been the same type.

She seems to be the kind of girl with the "I will change them for the better" Complex.

If you want to date her, you'll need to be an arse to her. Of course then there's the whole un-charted territory of what happened when you date her and is nice to her. Most likely scenario would be “She’s really happy and thankful for a while, but then starts disliking the situation cause she has nothing to fix. She will then try to break the relationship, and either 1) try to fix it again with you so she feels some kinda worth in the relationship, or 2) date some other arsehole, then realise how good of a person you were and try to get back.”

You also have to ask yourself. Do you love her for all she is (including the non-commitmentness, the head games, etc) or do you also have in part of the “I will be able to fix her problems, if she’s with me she’ll be happy” complex?

In this forum alone, there’s 2 good examples before you. You can not fix something which do not want to be fixed. However if you truly say you love her as you do, then go forth, but protect yourself (financially, emotionally, and physically) as much as you can while in the relationship with her.

Yes, I do, trust me I know all her flaws well and my feelings haven't changed despite them, and no, I don't think I really have the I could fix her problems complex, when she is in a relationship she truely seems to want to keep it and the ultimate final breakup has always been the other womans fault, it the choosing the women with the commitment issues in the first place that's the problem, which is also why I wouldn't expect anything but a no if I asked her out, because she knows I don't have commitment issues, so if we ever actually ended up dating it would be because she worked thru that issue at least somewhat, sure she has her other neuroticism, but like I said, I know them and I still love her despite them if anything did actually happen.

Sassy, I've been the safe cuddle before.

It stinks when they know you will forgive anything, just to be with them. It is a prime set up for an abusive relationship. I'm beginning to think Lydiaa's advise may be the best yet given.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

I still say take the chance.

I'm going to play the devil's advocate one last time Sass. I hope you do forgive me for my straight forwardness. I do not in anyway imply that there is absolutely no hope for your love, just that caution needs to be applied.

While sometimes it may seem that the other side is always the one with the problem, you also have to remember most of the time it's a one sided account. There are lots of underlying reasons for their action towards her which leads to the eventual break up. In essence if you're a victim once, it's bad luck, if you're a victim more than 3 times, you need to reassess yourself.

However reading through your post, you seem to understand and accept the consequences of your actions. I command your bravery for such an act, I have grown too cynical over the years and I admit thats my own fault.

May I suggest you examine what initally attracted your friend to these women (it is usually a dominating personality), and mimic (at least the first few month) them to get her fall for you. Also keep in mind however that it will not be you she's in love with, but the personality.

Either go for and see if it work or crash and get your heart broken or just sever it now. It's not healthy or fair to yourself to live like this.

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"It's real, grew up in trife life, the times of white lines
The hype vice, murderous nighttimes and knife fights invite crimes" - Nasir Jones

True, and that may be the case for some, I can only speak for what I saw when she was in relationships and what I knew of the women she dated. The first had a husband and 2 children and was unhappy with her marriage, that relationship didn't really go anywhere there and she clearly had commitment issue cheating on her husband and all. 2nd I knew before they started dating, saying she was messed up was an understatement. 3rd which lasted for a year sort of had no personality and had said from the get go she didn't want a comitment and seemed very appathetic in terms of their relationship, they broke up probably a dozen times before it ended. The last one I met the same time she did, another married one who was not happy with her wife and had a hellspawn child who couldn't support herself and was simply looking for an out, in fact she tried getting with me first but I wasn't going to have any part of that. I do know however while she was in the relationships it was all about the woman she was with and she would do anything to keep them, even after being screwed over by the same woman over and over again.




Well I tried to just sever it, didn't work so well cause while I severed it she didn't, I do think what I need to do is just be up front, ask her and out and when she likely says no then tell her to just stop contacting me because I can't have her in my life as just a friend, at this point it's either as a girlfriend or out of my life completely so I can try to move on and forget her. Now actually getting myself to do that is the hard cause I know her saying no will devistate me and i'll be much worse than I am now at least for quite a while, and considering my current state of having multiple breakdowns during the day, going to the bathroom at work to cry, etc, even after over 6 months of not being around her it's going to really bad.

change your numbers, change the places you hang out. Ask friends around you to not bring certain things up and maybe be advanturous and do something you'd never normally do.

If you have to cut it, you'll have to cut it clean... lingering will not do you any good.

Ugghh, changing numbers would be so much of a hassle, would hope I would not have to do that, fortunatly though I haven't run into her since we stopped hanging out which is surprising given that she lives a few miles away from me.

Well I have the do something adventurous I wouldn't ever normally do down, somehow I managed to commit myself to doing a drag act for an amature drag contest at a night one of my friends DJ's at the end of this month, should be interesting to say the lease seeing as I have severe social anxiety when it comes to being up in front of large groups of peope cause I feel like they are watching and judging me, which is exactly what they will be doing, eep!

1. Women are nuts
2. Some women who are nuts are crazy
3. Some women who are crazy are f'in nuts.

Always stay away from 3.

Just figure out if shes a 2 or a 3.

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"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

That sounds like great fun, if Drag contest is what I think it is... (dressing up as a guy right?)

It also seems like you've made up your mind about this girl and merely wants some re-affirmation from us. Just remember that we're behind you no matter what you decide, we'll be here with kind words and shoulders if you get hurt. But if you succeed the boys *coughandmecough* demand piccies!

Yup, dressing up like a guy, I'm doing Adam Lambert's for your entertainent, the one he did at the ama's.

Well I hadn't made up my mind before posting today, but yeah I think I know what I need to do anyways, doing it though is the hard part.

Oh.. piccies or it didnt happen!!!

Dude then I'm in drag everyday!

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"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

Hmm, no comment.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Sassy, ask me out...I won't reject you. I am sure Oonagh wouldn't mind either.



Edit - Damn, my evil twin posting as me again. Srsly Sas, do what is best for you. Make choices with your own best interests coming first.

Good luck.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

I think she would rather ask Oonagh out. Would you mind?

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Not at all, but...

picsplzkthks

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

Lol!