The Glade 4.0

They're talking to us … George [Lucas] wanted to know whether we'd be interested. He did say that if we didn't want to do it, they wouldn't cast another actor in our parts — they would write us out … I can tell you right away that we haven't signed any contracts. We're in the stage where they want us to go in and meet with Michael Arndt, who is the writer, and Kathleen Kennedy, who is going to run Lucasfilm. Both have had meetings set that were postponed — on their end, not mine. They're more busy than I am. - Mark Hamill

The fact that it's George Lucas that's asking him, not Disney, doesn't make me feel bad that he turned it down.

Star Wars: Episode VII is definitely happening. Am I the only one who needs to keep repeating that to myself, as if to convince myself it's actually true and not some wild game of Hollywood Mad Libs where J.J. Abrams and Luke Skywalker and the screenwriter of Little Miss Sunshine were randomly put together? Well, it is. It's happening. So much so that the stars of the original trilogy are now confirming their participation. Carrie Fisher confirmed to Palm Beach Illustrated (see what I mean about Mad Libs?) that she will indeed be reprising her role as Princess Leia, former intergalactic revolutionary, now presumably wifed-up to Han Solo.

How does the famously acerbic Fisher envision what Leia would be like today?

Elderly. She’s in an intergalactic old folks’ home [laughs]. I just think she would be just like she was before, only slower and less inclined to be up for the big battle.

So that puts Fisher and Mark Hamill both on track to return, meaning the only big names yet to officially confirm are Harrison Ford as Han Solo and Michael Carter as Bib Fortuna. (Hear me out! Bib survived the bloodbath on Jabba's party boat and secretly began devising an elaborate revenge scheme against the Jedi. I'm still working out how the Trade Federation fits into all this, so check back later …)

I'm so sad that they're bringing back Hamill, Ford, and Fisher. Maybe if they just brought back one (say, Fisher), it would be better. Still, I'd prefer to see none of them back.

This.

I suspect most of them will be in what amounts to cameo appearances.

Luke should be a bit more visible, though still in the background, as the Jedi Master of the new Jedi Knights, of whom the main character will need to be part of...

The Star Wars universe is moving forward into a brave new era, and that means it’s time for a good old-fashioned brand scrub. Following the news that newly-Disneyfied Lucasfilm is delaying the 3D re-release of Episodes II and III, the company announced today that they are ending production of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, the Cartoon Network series that spent five seasons earning raves — raves that were all variations of “Well, at least it’s better than the last few movies.”

Supervising Director Dave Filoni promises that the team is still working on additional Clone Wars story arcs, but it’s not immediately clear where or when those will appear. (The press release describes the story arcs as “bonus content,” which doesn’t inspire much confidence.) The end of Clone Wars indicates that Lucasfilm is closing the book on the whole prequel era, which is sad news for people who prefer Clone Troopers to Stormtroopers.

As part of the purge, Lucasfilm has also postponed the release of Star Wars: Detours, the long-in-the-works animated spoof series created by the Robot Chicken team. Detours always seemed like a dicey proposition. In the 20 years since Clerks‘ “Death Star Plumbers” theory, joking about Star Wars has become an industry unto itself; it was never clear how much more gag material was left in the franchise. (Although somebody did just explain how the Battle of Hoth is an Iraq-war prophecy…) Although a trailer was released last summer, Detours never had an official release date. Lucasfilm says it’s “reconsidered whether launching an animated comedy prior to the launch of Episode VII makes sense,” although they claim they’re only postponing Detours until a later date.

Although these announcements only refer to Lucasfilm animation projects, the news doesn’t bode well for fans who were excited about the live-action crime-themed TV show Star Wars: Underworld or the bleak-looking videogame Star Wars 1313. It feels like Lucasfilm is closing the book on all those projects, and on the whole post-2005 era of long-rumored, intriguing-sounding spin-offs. Goodbye, Deadwood in Space.

Well, they already addressed why Ahsoka Tano isn't seen in Episode 3.

I was wondering how they were going to handle it. I assumed they were going to kill her off.

This is ForceWatch, your as-needed check-in with the upcoming Star Wars reboot, including but not limited to Star Wars Episode VII. Full disclosure: Disney owns Grantland, and the rest of the universe.

Two bits of possible Star Wars news are making their way around the Internet this week: one big, highly questionable one, and one smaller, slightly more likely one. Let's break them down and be thankful that they don't have anything to do with an out-of-work bit player from the original trilogy making a cameo appearance in Episode VII for the benefit of exactly six sweaty nerds in the front row.

Let's start with the big one: Podcasters The Schmoes got this bit of news from an unnamed "reliable source" who has seen part of an Episode VII casting breakdown that will supposedly be sent out soon. Read it and speculate:
Storyline: Two 17 year old twins, a girl and a boy, are trained by their uncle Luke to be the greatest Jedis in the galaxy. Problems arise when the male twin turns to the dark side.

Jaina Solo – Female, 17 years old, lead. – Jacen’s twin sister, one of the greatest Jedis in the galaxy, trained by her uncle Luke Skywalker

Jacen Solo – Male, 17 years old, lead – Jaina’s twin brother, one of the greatest Jedis in the world. A loner who is constantly struggling with the idea of what’s right and what’s wrong. Starts to turn to the dark side. Full of conviction that what he is doing is the “right thing”. Will eventually become Darth Caedus.

This is all directly lifted from the Expanded Universe novels and comics, which flies in the face of the early claims that the sequels would be entirely new stories. But then, those claims also came from an "unnamed source close to Lucasfilm" … so it's one anonymous tip against another. I just tend to put more stock in rumors that are potentially disappointing to fans than those that stoke the diehard flames, like this one.

If the breakdown is real, though, it of course would pretty much confirm that Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford will be back to reprise their original roles, which is probably the most hotly debated rumor at this point. One potential problem, though: This would place the action at about 22 years after the events of Return of the Jedi, placing Luke and Leia's age at 44. Mark Hamill is 61, Carrie Fisher is 56. Neither have … how do I put this? … aged terribly gracefully? I'm not saying that Jacen and Jaida should have CW parents, but I, like Carrie Fisher, imagined the retired saviors of the galaxy chilling in "an intergalactic old folks' home," not fighting battles with their hotheaded adolescent offspring. I could buy the Solo twins playing a major part in the new films, but it seems to me the timeline should be moved up by about a decade. Also, I know it was in the books, but I don't want to watch another petulant teenager get pulled over to the dark side. Isn't there another kind of story to be told in such a vast and colorful fictional universe?

Moving on: Here's my favorite rumor of the Episode VII buildup so far, which should give you a pretty good idea of where my head's at, at least … Comingsoon.net got a tip from a reader who noticed that production designer Darren Gilford had a new credit added to his profile page on the United Talent Agency's website. That credit? Star Wars: Episode VII. It's since been removed, but here are a few reasons why I like this rumor.

At this point in the sad, jaded life of a Star Wars devotee, the only thing we can actually count on being really mind-blowing and awesome in the sequels has nothing to do with plot or casting or geeky Easter eggs. Or even visual effects, to whose antiseptic homogenization we've become desensitized in the past decade. It's production design. And Gilford is responsible for two of the best-looking sci-fi pieces in the last few years, Joseph Kosinski's otherwise empty Tron: Legacy and Oblivion. (He also designed Mike Judge's Idiocracy, which was one of the worst-looking sci-fi pieces of the '00s, but brilliantly so.)

It's coming from the UTA website, not some anonymous tip to SciFiTroll.com or whatever (though I can totally see a geeky intern dropping in a new credit for Gilford as a bit of wishful thinking, then removing it before his tyrannical agent boss came back from lunch at the Palm, broke his glasses, and told him to get back on coverage of 28 Dresses Later).

I love thinking about some Comingsoon reader just cruising around the UTA website, refreshing below-the-line talent profiles.

It's just boring enough to be true.