The Glade 4.0

Okay, here is what I am trying to do... I am trying to create a list of fairly Karmically neutral curses which I can use on people. The conditions are... curse word free and not vulgar. Mus and I have come up with the following list. Please feel free to add in any that fit the no cursing and not vulgar theme.


1. May she/he never find shoes to match his/her outfits
2. May she/he never be able to get a decent cup of coffee
3. May his/her steaks always be cooked a little overdone
4. May they only get 2 bars when trying to stream a video
5. May all your furniture be Mahogany
6. May you always choose the bathroom stall that is out of TP
7. May your DVDs never upconvert to 1080p
8. May your partner never understand Firefly.
9. May your lifesaving medications be considered Non-Formulary by your insurance carrier.
10. May your 4 minute eggs always take 6 minutes.
11. May you ever be stuck behind old people writing checks when paying for groceries.
12. May automated answering machines never be able to understand your commands
13. May your cell phone battery indicator always overestimate capacity.
14. May your USB devices never plug in on the first or second try.
15. May your milk sour a day before the expiration date.
16. May your gas refills always stop two cents over your available cash.
17. May elevator doors close slowly when you're in a rush.
18. May you always catch red lights.
19. May you always put on t-shirts backwards.
20. I hope you stumble slightly over an imaginary bump in front of strangers.
21. May your water cooler always pour at room temperature.
22. May you always live in Interesting times.

You guys are good.

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Darksiege
Traveller, Calé, Whisperer
Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut

May your water cooler always pour at room temperature.

I hope you stumble slightly over an imaginary bump in front of strangers.

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May you always put on t-shirts backwards.

May your gas refills always stop two cents over your available cash.

May elevator doors close slowly when you're in a rush.

May you always catch red lights.

May your milk sour a day before the expiration date.

May your USB devices never plug in on the first or second try.

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May your cell phone battery indicator always overestimate capacity.

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Holy shitsnacks!

May automated answering machines never be able to understand your commands

May you ever be stuck behind old people writing checks when paying for groceries.

May your 4 minute eggs always take 6 minutes.

I'm pretty sure I suffer from that one already.


What about may you always live in interesting times.

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I prefer to think of them as "Fighting evil in another dimension"

May your lifesaving medications be considered Non-Formulary by your insurance carrier.

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Holy shitsnacks!

May you always dribble a little bit of gas on your shoes every time you fill up.

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Holy shitsnacks!

May your shower run cold whenever anyone flushes.

May your smartphone case always make the "a" hard to enter.

May you always find one little area you missed while shaving.

May every pair of headphones you own introduce barely noticeable hissing and popping to your music.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Why don't you take 12 steps off an 11-step pier?

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May the objects of your romantic interests always make the wrong assumption about your sexual persuasion.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

Supposedly this is an escalating 3 part curse:

May you live in interesting times, may important people notice you, and may you find what you are looking for.

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Sail forth! steer for the deep waters only!
Reckless, O soul, exploring, I with thee, and thou with me;
For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go,
And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.

Stathol beat me to it.

May you come to the attention of traffic officers and tax auditors on a regular basis.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Phe sez "May your Popsicles always fall off their sticks" and "May restaurants always be out of your preferred soda."

and......

WINNAR!!

May you always insert your USB cables the wrong way. Twice.

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Sail forth! steer for the deep waters only!
Reckless, O soul, exploring, I with thee, and thou with me;
For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go,
And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.

May your DVR ALWAYS miss the last minute of your shows.

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