The Glade 4.0

I've been having one.

Nothing dangerous, just depressing, and I've dealt with depression long enough to know my way around the pitfalls.

I used to feel I had a good handle on my purpose in life, my place, and what I was good at, how I helped people.

Lately, not so much. My feelings of usefulness and worth are deteriorating along with my physical abilities. I'm not sure how I'm going to be handling this. It is kind of uncharted territory for me.

Over the last year several friends have passed, the kids I used to be there for are off having life and families of their own. My job has changed, my position is no where near as defined as it once was, I'll have a job but I have no clue what I'm going to be doing.

I've considered retirement, but really, I want to wait another four years, for financial reasons. I'm also not ready to go to full time not having a schedule. It is great on weekends and vacations, but i don't think I'd be good at it on an everyday basis.

It isn't that life sucks, it is that it is unfocused in a way I'm not used to.

Even my hobbies aren't holding my interest lately.

I don't have time to volunteer, at least not at the level I would expect off myself.

I feel like I'm being a silly whiner, these are not real problems, especially as compared to so many folks I know, but they've been playing with my head lately.

I even tried a counselor, after three sessions he was so uncomfortable with me not responding in ways he understood, I called it off.

So, thoughts, comments, suggestions?

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Exercise?

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

^

The other thing you could try is to indulge yourself. Do something decadent for yourself you haven't done before and come back and see how you feel.

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"It's real, grew up in trife life, the times of white lines
The hype vice, murderous nighttimes and knife fights invite crimes" - Nasir Jones

I would suggest seeking organizations or societies pertaining to things that may interest you, in your area. Do it before you decide to retire. Things like plant societies, or bird watchers, or whatever interest you have should be available and have meet ups. Get involved and make new contacts.

Be proactive while you are still employed.

I'd say a night of booze and hookers but with your history, that might not be a good idea. You were dealt a **** hand buddy. We all know that and I highly doubt I would have handled it as well as you have over the years. That being said, I think it is time you get serious about finding someone to spend your time with. Yes, I know...easier said than done.

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Raell Kromwell

This and the exercise suggestion are very good.

I have found two general things to do, each with organizations that got me back in touch and centered. The best thing I read about this is "Retire TO something. Don't retire away from something"

Finding the right someone might also occur and is more likely if you are being active in organizations.

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Memento Vivere

I have local knowledge.
That sandbar was not there yesterday!

The first thought must come from within, staring at the bleakness right now may seem depressing, especially the more you consider it. To move on, you must first move your mental gaze. Without consideration for age, mobility and finance, ask yourself, what would make you happy right now? It could be as easy as a bowl of cookies and cream ice cream, or as complicated as falling in love. Then once, you have that goal, devise a plan to get there. (in the case of cookies and cream ice cream, get it from another state… and… Road Trip!!!)

As to not having enough time to volunteer, I’m sorry Michael, but I have to say you’re being silly. Volunteering comes in many forms; things such as puppy sitting for a pound on the weekend are fun and do not require much investment. Alternatively, volunteer for a charity, go for walk after dinner, and shake a tin at a few neighbours.

Michael, you’re wise beyond your years, and your advice has gotten many here at the glade through some interesting times. Knowledge is power (have you considered writing a book?) and one which only increases through experience.

First, you are not whining. Whining would be complaining about the situation without addressing it. Identifying a problem and soliciting advice on solutions is the opposite.

Second, it's not a silly problem. It's one of the most fundamental challenges facing millions of people. No, it's not life threatening, but that does not mean it's not a serious issue.

The obvious answer is "find your calling". Easy to say, tough to do. What have you always wanted to do but never gotten around to?

Additionally, I'd argue that this is a common concern for some older folks - and this is a fairly young crowd. Everyone here will want to help, but you might get better help elsewhere. Find folks in major transitions like retirement and solicit advice from them.

I'm not part of the young crowd, and I don't think SG is (no offense to SG for my assumption). There are a few older people who post here on the glade Arathain.