The Glade 4.0

Facism is not a school of thought, it is a racial slur.

In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first. - George Carlin

Facism is not a school of thought, it is a racial slur.

In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first. - George Carlin

Seems like a match made in heaven. What's his buyout?

Facism is not a school of thought, it is a racial slur.

19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Why would any coach who values his career be interested in the Browns job?

In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first. - George Carlin

Well said

In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first. - George Carlin

In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first. - George Carlin

The Cleveland Browns finally filled their vacant head coach position today, deciding on “Brownie,” a stray kitten that CEO Joe Banner found near the team’s Berea facility this afternoon.

“I had been to Home Depot this morning in my truck and I got some day laborers for what I called a ‘rebuilding’ job out in Berea,” said general manager Mike Lombardi. “Anyway, once they figured out that the job was to be the coaching staff of the Browns, they all jumped out of the truck. I was going about 75 mph. It’s amazing they weren’t all killed. Anyway, as I was coming back to the facility, empty-handed, I spotted this kitten in a storm drain. And here we are.”

Team owner Jimmy Haslam says the kitten has the right mentality for the job.

“She, at least I think it’s a she. Anyway, she was in a storm drain, down and out,” said Haslam. “But she didn’t give up and now she is the first kitten head coach of an NFL team. I think that can be an inspiration to our players. We’ve got to scratch and claw our way out, just like a hungry cat.”

Banner said he doesn’t know much about the kitten’s football philosophy, but said he wouldn’t be surprised if she runs the wildcat offense, to which the assembled press corps laughed.

“What’s so funny?” said Banner. “This team is not a joke. We looked at a lot of candidates and Brownie here stood out from the rest. We don’t want a coach who doesn’t want to be here. And Brownie wants to be here. Good, Brownie,” he added, petting the kitten. “Yes, we’ll get you another bowl of milk. Please don’t leave. Ouch! Don’t bite, Brownie. No!”

“Mew, mew, meoooooow,” said Brownie, struggling to leave the podium while being held in place by Banner and Haslam.

The Browns are not yet sure how Brownie will fill out her staff.

“We’ll look for other strays with nowhere else to go,” said Lombardi. “Maybe stop at the local SPCA, although I doubt they’d give us any kittens. I don’t know. I think the hope for now is that Brownie has a bunch of kittens before next season starts.”

In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first. - George Carlin

The Cleveland Browns organization is not getting much respect here at the Senior Bowl. The attitude towards the Browns, specifically the front office, from personnel people around the league has ranged from disparaging to downright nasty. Several comments were passed at the South’s afternoon practice that few are surprised the Cleveland franchise cannot find a head coach considering “those in charge”. In fact choice adjectives [explitives] were used by front office people here in Mobile to describe “those in charge” in Cleveland.

In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first. - George Carlin

In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first. - George Carlin

"It's been a lifelong dream to be an NFL head coach and however that opportunity presents itself is fine with me," Pettine said.

CLEVELAND – Claiming that the organization needed, “a fresh new approach,” the Cleveland Browns today announced the firing of Mike Pettine, the former defensive coordinator of the Buffalo Bills whom the team hired as their new head coach sixteen hours prior to his termination.

Pettine departs Cleveland with a lifetime record of 0-0, good enough to make his tenure one of the most successful periods during the past several decades of Browns football.

“At this time, the Browns franchise has chosen to part ways with Mike Pettine,” said team G.M. Michael Lombardi. “We thank Mike for everything that he’s done during his nearly full-day stay with our team, and we wish him well in all his future endeavors. Unfortunately, we just didn’t see the hour-to-hour improvement that we were looking for.”

“I’m saddened to leave the team under these circumstances, but I understand that this is a business decision,” said Pettine, placing his personal office effects into the same white cardboard box from which he’d unpacked them the previous afternoon. “This is a ‘what-have-you-done-for-me-lately’ league, and the bottom line is that we didn’t get the job done here. I thank the Browns for the opportunity they gave me. There’s a lot of great guys on this roster, or so I’ve heard, and I’m sure I’d miss them terribly if I’d had the chance to meet any of them before my termination.”

Added Pettine: “Can someone show me where the front door is again?”

Lombardi told reporters that a search for a new Browns head coach would begin “immediately,” and will be conducted “with all the efficiency and professionalism that fans have come to expect from our proud organization.”

While Lombardi declined to name candidates on the team’s short list for the newly vacated position, sources close to the Browns revealed that possible successors to Pettine include Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels, Seahawks defensive coordinator Dan Quinn, the currently unemployed Rob Chudzinski, and Broncos offensive coordinator Alan Gase.

Cleveland BrownsLatest HeadlinesMichael LombardiMike Pettine

In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first. - George Carlin

I meant to post that. Was it wrong that I saw the article title on facebook and almost believed it until I saw what site it was from.

In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first. - George Carlin