The Glade 4.0

I've been living in this apartment since August, which has been mostly great. I enjoy that it's a smaller complex with only four apartments per building. I live on the bottom, with neighbors above me who have two kids, one who's seven or eight and one who's under two. My girlfriend, who lives with me, also has a two year old child. Initially, this couple seemed alright to us. They're maybe in their mid-late 20's, and really never bothered us until a couple months ago.

It all started on the first night I ever had anyone over to my apartment, on a Saturday night. It was around 11:30pm when I heard a knock on the door. The man from upstairs explained that we had woken up his kid three times and asked us to keep it down. Now, we weren't being loud whatsoever. We were actually having a cup of coffee, chatting at the dinner table at a very low volume. Being a nice neighbor, I simply said "I'm sorry, we'll be sure to do that." The very next night, I had my father and his friend over to watch the Sunday Night Football game. Again, I hear a knock on the door. This time, it's th woman, not the man, from upstairs. She says, "Do one of you drive that maroon car? It's in MY spot," in a real snobby tone of voice. It was my father's friend's car. We don't have assigned parking at this complex, nor do we have reserved spots. So after giving her a baffled look, my guest exited to move the car. It wasn't like there weren't other spots available right along the front of the building. Literally it would require her to walk an additional 5 steps, as the spot right next to it was open, as was the three next to that. Two of the apartments weren't even being occupied out of the four in this building. The building has 6 spots along the building with another 6 just 15 feet across on the other side of the drive.

So in those two nights, I began to realize that these neighbors were going to be a nuisance. Constantly, we'd hear the woman up there screaming at her one year old crying boy, "SHUT THE F*CKKKKKKKKKK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" over and over. She's definitely a pyscho *****. Night after night, we hear this woman up there screaming like this, even late into the night. Even worse, we often hear it at 5 and 6 in the morning. It's almost a routine for us to hear this woman up there each morning with her crying (more like screaming) son.

Over the last couple months, we've had her man coming down knocking on our door at least a few more times in regards to our noise. It's typically on the one night out of the month we have a couple guests over on a Friday or Saturday night. It's also typically very early in the evening when we're not even being unreasonably loud. Our apartment complex's rules state that 10pm-6am is quiet time, which we generally always adhere to. They on the other hand, are among the biggest culprits of violating this. I never go up there and tell them to calm down, not even once. I tend to be understanding, as long as people aren't throwing huge parties until the wee hours of the morning.

Fast forward to Christmas night now. I have three friends over for dinner and some drinks. We had the television on while we talked in the living room. Like usual, we are conversing at a reasonable level. Then again, it's a holiday on a Friday night, so I wouldn't think it'd be that big of a concern to begin with. Around 11pm, we hear the notorious neighbor knocking on the door again. My feisty latina girlfriend answered the door this time. He claims we woke his one year old son up eight times. She told him she didn't feel we were being noisy and he responded by asking us to turn the television down. Baffled, we just shut the door and went about our night joking about what an *** he was being.

My girlfriend and I know we didn't wake that kid up eight times, because that kid screams like he's being tortured every time he wakes up. We know this because he wakes us up every morning with his cries. We never once heard a cry the night he came down to the door. We know it's the b*tch woman of his who's responsible for this crap. Not to mention, each time they come down, our child is still sound asleep. So, we can't be that bad.

Again, fast forward to the following night. It was around midnight when we heard this woman up there screaming at the top of her lungs at her child. Everyone was jumping all around and the floor was damn near going to cave in. This continued for another 15 minutes. Following this, I heard their surround sound blaring loudly, with the bass riding right through the walls. Honestly, I wouldn't care if they did this if they weren't such hypocrites. So now I'm contemplating on what to do next. Do I go confront them about this issue of them being a hypocrite and risk turning this into a childish b*tching fest, where it gets even worse than it is now? Or do I let it go on, pissing me off constantly? I don't have company over very often, but it's still annoying to get bombarded with their ridiculous bullshit every time I do have company over. I want to be the bigger man, but at the same time, I think manning up and confronting them about this and talking it out in a civil manner might not be a bad route to go. I just don't know if that woman up there is capable of reasoning.

/exhale

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First off, this is Micheal talking, the guy who always asks people to be the bigger man and find the peaceful solution. This time, I'm going to ask you to be proactive in your own benefit. Stop letting them get away with their noise while complaining to you about your reasonable noise level is more than just trying to get along, it is stupid. They sound like the sort of people who have been complaining to the landlord all along as well. Fight back, but reasonably.

In this case being the bigger man calls for asking them to behave as they ask you to behave. Do unto others, etc. Tell them that at no time when they have complained about the noise you are making do you feel you have been overly noisy, and have often wondered if there is another issue going on. Nonetheless, when they have asked you have kept it down to a whisper. Start going up and asking them to keep it down every damn time they are being overly noisy and see how that changes the behavior. At no time should you engage in violence. Just use your inside voice and politely request they behave civilly.

Call your area's version of child protective services and tell them what you've told us about her behavior and the kids crying and screaming, and ask if this is normal or are you being too sensitive. Tell them you think something is wrong with the boy because he always wakes up crying. Be concerned for the child's welfare. Yes, be an interfering busybody. You don't know, maybe something is very wrong up there, best to let someone with some power know so they can check it out, perhaps save the boy from a life of horror.

If they are being really noisy, and you go outside and can hear it as well, and it is late at night, call the cops.

Write a letter to the landlord documenting the behavior of the couple. Ask the landlord if there is any insulation in the floor/ceiling. Ask the landlord if they can talk to the couple about the complex rules. No assigned parking, specified quiet hours, is there anything in the rules about harassing the neighbors?.

You have let it go on too long already. As soon as you realized something was wrong upstairs you should have started answering unreasonable requests with reasonable requests, ***** with cold politeness, and telling them they are being much louder than you are, could they keep it down.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Everything Micheal said. Emphatically. Especially the calling child services part and asking them if that is normal.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Please call protective services. I have a 21 month old boy and that is not normal and her behavior is unacceptable.

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“Strong people are harder to kill than weak people, and more useful in general”. - Mark Rippetoe

Consider getting a cheapy decibel meter...some are only 60 bucks, or, you may be able to get an app for a smartphone (I know there is one for the iPhone, for example).

Then, have it on when you have people over. See how loud you are being, especially when they come down to complain.

My gut feeling is that they are padding their story. If I had one night where neighbors "woke the baby" 8 times, I wouldn't tolerate another night for even one wake-up...I'd be down there immediately, asking them to be quiet. My guess is the woman may have migraines and be sensitive to noise. Unfortunately, that's not an excuse for their frequent complaining if you are not being unreasonable with your noise levels and being mindful of the time.

Definitely be polite yet firm and complain back to them about their own noise issues each and every time it happens.

Dunno about the law in Michigan, but around here, cops only follow up on a noise complaint if there's still noise occurring when they arrive--which could be hours later, given the low priority a noise complaint gets.

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Women are from Hoboken, men are from Trenton. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

Roophus, I can sympathize. We have neighbors who will come and complain in the middle of the day if we are listening to the stereo while cleaning; listening to it at all that is.

They also keep banging noises all day and most of the night. It sounds like the people in the apartment above us are bowling.

You have gone well beyond reasonable on this. I also think you should contact CPS regarding the treatment of the baby. I can also agree with the decibal meter. There needs to be something in the lease that defines what 'loud' is. And I would suggest taking it to the landlord before they get you evicted for noise.

I do however know it is not easy to judge when you are being too loud, but if your kid is not being awakened by your noise... I would say it is a damned good assessment of being reasonable.

Eviction makes it very hard to get another apartment.

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Darksiege
Traveller, Calé, Whisperer
Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut

How long are you planning on staying in this apartment?

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Never move your car again for anyone claiming you are in "their spot" unless it's actually an assigned or reserved spot. If that ever happens again tell her "it's not your spot, you have to park somewhere else." and shut the door in her face.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

This.

And park in "her" spot whenever you can.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Be careful with this. Depending on what kind of neighborhood you live in, denying someone "their" parking spot is a good way to get your tires slashed.

Addendum, then:
Park in "her" spot, and train a hidden camera on it.

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And automated machine gun turrets.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

Punch that ho.

Now this I can agree with!!!

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"Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use one!"~ Matthew Quigley

"nothing like a little meow in bed at night" ~ Bruskey

"I gotta float my stick same as you" Hondo Lane

"Fill your hand you son of a *****!"

No violence!

Just call the cops next time she's screaming at the top of her lungs. Tell them you're afraid for the boy.

Pop some JollyTime and sit back and watch the show.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

So I went up and talked to them tonight. They had their music up pretty loud (at least by their own standards) at 11:30pm tonight. I politely went up there and explained that I didn't mind the noise. I really don't care, honestly. I just told them that there's a huge difference between a weeknight and a holiday that falls on a Friday night. They rebutted by saying that it was the bass from my tv that keeps the baby up and that they aren't pissed, but just that their baby wakes up very easily. They also said that because they live above me, the bass rattles upwards to them. I told them that I didn't understand why it's so different when their bass is up. I still hear it, though I don't care, like I said. I just stated that I didn't care so much for being asked to quiet down on a Friday night when theirs is just as loud on a Monday night.

I actually came off sounding very nice when I said all this and I explained that I preferred to come meet them rather than have the only encounters between us be negative ones. They backed off real quick and were very apologetic. I explained that I'm sorry their baby keeps waking up, but that I'm genuinely trying to keep as quiet as I can when it's after hours.

I think everything is calmed down for now at least. I gave him my number and told him to call me next time rather than come knock on my door. That way, it doesn't come off as such a hostile a-hole-ish move.

I really don't care that his baby wakes up easily. That's part of being a parent. You don't think I didn't have some sleepless nights when my fiance's little girl was only 1? Don't come down blaming me for your kid waking up in the night. That's going to happen whether I'm here or not. Also, since when do you two care so much about this kid? I mean, you tell him to "SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!" all the time. I think it's more that you just don't want him to wake up so you have to care for him. This is the stuff I wanted to say but didn't.

Regardless, I think it's all straight now. They invited me to come up and chill with them in the future, so I think it's at least heading in a positive direction, even if I hate their guts. I don't think they went to the landlords about me, so I'm not going to go report them if they can keep it civil and not be jerks about it. I still can't stand how they're so damn hypocritical. I don't think I'll be hearing them knock at the door anytime soon, now that he has my phone number, which is a good thing. Also, I can take the conversation to a private location, as it's a bit embarrassing having neighbors complaining about the noise all the time when we aren't really doing anything unreasonable.

In the future, I really would like to get a decibel meter to see how loud we are really being. I'd also like the apartment complex to give us a definition of 'loud' by stating an exact decibel level to adhere to. Just saying 'loud' isn't specific because every tenant has a different definition. Upon looking at a decibel chart, I'd say we were somewhere around 60dBs, which is normal conversation level. I don't feel that normal conversation level should ever be disallowed in an apartment, regardless of the time of day. If that's the case, they might as well just ban taking showers before 6am because it's too loud as well. This reminds me of a friend who used to work first shift. He got a bunch of sound violations because his alarm clock went off at 4am to wake him up for work. Now at what point is it being too loud versus just living your life and going about your day?

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Someone yelling "SHUT THE F**K UP" at a child just makes me sad

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

It really is unsettling to hear it. The sad part is that it's still a baby at one year old. He literally just turned one. At that age, I don't think it matters as much what you say, but how you say it. Screaming it back in the kid's face isn't exactly good parenting. The kid only wants some milk or to go to sleep for crying out loud. Why scream at him when he doesn't even know any better?

When I heard the noise up there today, I couldn't contain myself. Prior to tonight, I had planned to just settle this with the landlord. I didn't feel like escalating the situation, perhaps causing them to enter into a noise war. I didn't need them reporting me for noise violations that were false. However, I couldn't help it when I heard how bad it was getting past 11:30. I knew it had to happen. I couldn't let them go on being loud without me at least confronting them once on the subject. It was actually beginning to overwhelm my focus throughout the day, just thinking about how much I couldn't stand those pricks. Now, at least I can get my mind off it for a while.

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Sounds like you did the right thing. Good for you. I hope it works out, and I hope they stop yelling at the baby.
I consider myself a pretty good parent, but I yelled at Taylor when he was an infant once or twice out of sheer frustration and lack of sleep....maybe they are not child abusers but good parents going through a rough time? Maybe someone needs to watch their kid for awhile so they can get a nap or something. I dunno. I hope its all ok and if its not, don't forget to write down cps number....

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Sounds like things may work out for ya, Roophus.

Gotta love apartment living, where soundproofing between units is not usually considered. One of my apartments had me living underneath a couple and their 3 year old.

They liked to wake up very pleasantly in the morning. Their mattress was very springy, and they must've had a very heavy headboard. She was a screamer, and the guy had to have rolled an 18 (00) for stamina...

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Women are from Hoboken, men are from Trenton. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

lol hmmm lots of stamina huh? And a screamer too? Hope you found a better apartment

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

I'd almost prefer to have a noisy apartment setting than have one where you need to prance around like a thief in the night all the time. I can sleep with noise, plus I'm a night-owl. Then again, I'm not a very noisy person to begin with, but I can't stand having to deal with people getting upset about noise all the time when they have no problem making it themselves at 8am.

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Lol, eventually I did. But only after Screamy and Everlast went out of town one weekend...but they'd plugged up the toilet before they left.

The main sewer line was in my bathroom, and the entire wall of that bathroom was soaked.

They ripped out the bad drywall right away, but it took them more than 3 months to put up new drywall. They were too busy converting unrented units for sale.


Next place was far far better, and 200 bucks cheaper

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Women are from Hoboken, men are from Trenton. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

Hahahha "Screamy and Everlast"...that made me lol.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth