The Glade 4.0

That's not the lesson.

You want the money? You do the tasks I've assigned. Elsewise, you can look for a new job.

Her job was to go to school, and live under their rules to get financial support. She didn't want to perform those tasks, so she got "fired".

That's exactly how the real world works.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Which is exactly what I just said. Do the tasks at the job. Outside of that, there's no room for demanding anything.



And you just demonstrated why your analogy is total ****. Going to school and stuff is only her "job" in a general sense. Living in her parents house is her personal life, not her job. Parents don't get to treat their kids as employees. As younger children, they are responsible for their kids and cannot just "fire" them outside of extreme circumstances. Adult children are not employees unless they actually do work for their parents. You get to demand results from an adult kid that you're supporting (make the grades, graduate, etc.) You don't get to use the "we're giving you money!" excuse to continue exercising parental authority on the justification that "it's their job". It isn't. You do it for them as a parent because you love them and want the best for them, and you cut them off only when they unreasonably abuse it, not because they didn't do everything exactly the way you wanted.

If you're treating it like it's a job and just dictating, then you're a shitty parent with control issues. You're basically saying your money is more important than your relationship. The idea that an honor student somehow needs to be told who to date is complete crap.

Kids need to learn to manage their affairs, and need to have room to make their own mistakes and learn from them. That's a far more valuable life lesson than "do what I say or else!".

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

She did not get fired. She quit.

She still wants her paycheck though.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

This.

Live under our house, live under our rules. Don't like it? GTFO. Our rule is you focus on your education as long as you're here and we'll support you financially. You'd rather date some loser dude than think about your future? Fine, you're 18 now, carry on. But we're not going to support your bad choices.

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Holy shitsnacks!

That's exactly what they did.

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Holy shitsnacks!

At this stage, her parents have no more obligation to pay her way, I don't disagree.

I am saying that they're being shortsighted with this.

15 years down the road, when they're wondering why they never see their grandchildren, or why their daughter never comes to visit them, it won't be her fault. She's got no more obligation than they do now.

It's no surprise an 18 year old doesn't understand the concepts of cause & effect, responsibility and consequence. But at this point, the same can be said of her parents.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

Transitioning into adulthood is just as big a shock for parents as it is for teenagers. You have to learn to have a new relationship with each other. It feels good to say, "My money, my house, my rules!" but the young adult hasn't yet had the opportunity to earn their own money and get their own house. It feels good to say you're not going to support bad decisions, but a young adult doesn't have the benefit of a lifetime of learning from bad decisions.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

Corolinth, very true. They do however have the opportunity to ask why. I suspect both sides have a strong streak of stubborn in them and neither will budge, at least for several more years.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

And that's really the only issue here. Other than that, it's just a case of a kid telling her parents "no".

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

No it isn't. Read the article. They were talking about curfews, breaking up with her boyfriend and "respect" (kids that are already doing well generally aren't a respect issue until you start this crap)/

That's not demanding grades and performance. She was already making the grades.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

This. An 18 year old does not know what is and isn't a bad decision. This board has an appalling general tendency to think people should just not make mistakes, rather than learn from them.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

I read more into this, and it looks like the girl might actually have a case, contrary to what I thought before. If the college fund in question is a tax-advantaged 529 college savings plan, they actually do have to turn it over to her. The Uniform Transfers to Minors Act and Uniform Gifts to Minors Act both prohibit the parents from withholding a 529 plan that the minor in question has co-signed on. This would explain why the friend's dad is taking the case, and why he can expect to collect legal fees. If they have a 529 plan it would definitely have been explained to them that they can't hold on to it and as such trying to do so is acting in bad faith, which means she can collect her legal fees from them too.

Yeah, but if the parents fold 'cause the kid withholds something they want, then that will set the stage for repeat performances.

My opinion is, a kid wants to see and spend time with their parents after they become adults if their parents are people they can respect, and earning respect takes sticking to one's guns.

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In time, this too shall pass.

From your link:

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In time, this too shall pass.

I agree. Making mistakes is an effective way to gain confidence about what you should and should not do. It isn't something you try to stop.

For example, the idea "maybe I shouldn't touch a hot stove" becomes certainty once you actually do it and burn your finger.

Admitting you overreacted/made a mistake is harder to do, and earns more respect, than stubbornly "sticking to one's guns." And make no mistake about it - if the results when your ultimatum is called out are not acceptable to you, then you overreacted.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

Sticking to one's guns is more "remaining firm in one's convictions and standing up for one's rights" than stubbornly refusing to change one's position in an argument.

If one's convictions are so malleable that an argument with an 18 year old changes them, no matter the outcome, then one should really examine them.

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In time, this too shall pass.

Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't.



Yes, that's a good indication they were wrong in the first place, if even an 18 year old can point out why you can change your mind.


Kids are not terrorists. You an gie in where it's reasonable and stand firm where it's reasonable to do that.



By the time a kid is 18 you should have their respect. If you don't, it's rather too late to earn it by "sticking to your guns".

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

They won't need to wonder. They will know their daughter is self-centered, irrational, emotional, *****.

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"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

Bullshit. They figuratively hold a gun to their own head and scream "give me what I want or the kid gets it!" as a matter of course. As they age, the calibre of the gun increases.

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In time, this too shall pass.

What the **** kind of kids have you been dealing with?

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

Which is fairly normal at age 18, to one degree or another.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

Oh He do it! Heee do it!

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Holy shitsnacks!

The same kind as the kid that is the subject of this thread - Rachel Canning. My step-daughter was the same at her age, as were lots of her friends in Chesterfield MO, where the high school student parking lots are filled with Mercedes-Benz, Porsche, Maserati and Ferrari, among others.

She's sabotaging her future, creating a warped reality that she won't ever be able to escape. It's social media suicide taking place on facebook even as we speak. She's never going to be able to live this down.

https://www.facebook.com/rachel.canning.94?fref=ts








She's just "demanding her education right". What could possibly go wrong?

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In time, this too shall pass.

The judge should have ruled she needed to be kicked in the teeth by a mule.

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"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville