The Glade 4.0

This has been touched on very briefly in the rants section, but as not to derail that thread, thought I'd pose the question here:

Has anyone here extensively used eHarmony? Or does anyone here know the details of someone who has used eHarmony?

If so, how successful have you/they been, and (most importantly) is it worth paying the monthly fee?

Seems that the price for that website is a bit steep for someone who does not have a great income. Not to mention the fact that it's potentially a lot of emotional investment wasted if nothing comes of it.

OKCupid has a free service. Try them out first, if you don't like them, go ahead and pay for eHarmony. Another option for folks like us is SoulGeeks. It also has a free option.

I signed up, I've tried a couple of dates through OKCupid, neither of the ladies and I clicked. Not bad people, they seemed to be nice, normal folks. There were just no sparks.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

there is also plentyoffish.com (free at least)
match.com I would stay away from.

The problem with the pay sites is they have a 'free' interface but its just designed to get you to buy their service. so you could find someone interesting but you cannot tell if they can respond to you at all.

I donno though, the pay sites might weed out some of the morons too.

I'm pretty fed up with all of them right now. Or at least the situation. Being snubbed online in addition to IRL isn't really a lot of fun. From what I can tell most women get hit up for random sex about 5 times a day so most seem to be in the habit of ignoring all contacts.

I'll check out OkCupid and PlentyofFish (I actually have heard about them but forgot they existed).

SoulGeek looks . . . scary. I may delve into it a bit deeper tho, hoping it becomes less frightening.

EDIT: Ok, so I created accounts on Plentyoffish, (reluctantly) Soul Geeks, and OkCupid (which I really don't like they way it is set up -- it appears you have to answer random, user-created tests to actually get any information about yourself to the dating pool). One thing I will give to eHarmony -- they have a very probing, in-depth structured interview process, which is very important if you are trying to meet someone that you may potentially be with for the rest of your life.

I would say go with Eharmony....it has a good reputation, the commercials have a -feel-good/safe vibe to them, (very important to attracting quality females), and it may be unfair, but a woman is more likely to respond to a guy who paid for a membership. It shows that you are willing to invest in the pursuit of a quality relationship and shows your ability to make a commitment, however small that may be.
Good luck!

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

A good friend of mine used Eharm...

She has now been married for close to two years. This was after being single without anyone in her life for close to 14 years.

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Raell Kromwell

As I mentioned in the other thread, a good friend of mine used eHarmony a while back and just a couple days ago had their 1 year wedding aniversary. So it worked for them.

Not exactly a big sampling, as they are the only people I know that have used it, but hey, thats 100% success rate, 2 for 2!

From what I have seen, eHarmony definitely seems to be the best quality. Which also leads into the whole -- am I good enough even be on the site? Seems like eHarmony (being a pay site) is generally a match service for those with nice incomes and social standings.

My other lingering reservation about eHarmony is -- do I want to take the financial hit for something that I may potentially get only a handful of dead-end matches?

Rodahn, how much fulfillment are you going to get out of the other things you spend it on?

Pizza
A game
Beer

Think of it as a new game. How many relatively cute girls with interesting write-ups can I get replies from. Be a virtual Casanova.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

True enough, but there seem to be inherant road blocks with dating/relationships (especially in the region I am in).

Like for one, I live in the Bible belt, and I am not really religious.

I don't want/can't have kids, and how many women in said Bible belt area do not want kids? Hell, how many women in general don't want kids? Not many.

Which is why I am not sure if the investment is even worth it, as these seem to be two big strikes against me already.

There are women out there that can't have kids. Put the fact that you can't have kids as a point of comment. Hooking up with you would relieve any guilt they might suffer from not being able to give another guy the kids he wants. That takes one big pressure off both of you.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Once again to quote the salient quote, from **** My Dad Says:

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

Also:

haha, I love how extravagant and detailed his imagination was.... great.

As for EHarm, not sure, never used it, but it seems like an awful lot of money.

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"It's real, grew up in trife life, the times of white lines
The hype vice, murderous nighttimes and knife fights invite crimes" - Nasir Jones

In the short time I messed with dating sites, plentyoffish and match were both pretty clearly known as hook up sites. If that's what you're looking for, great, but if you're looking for more than that I wouldn't recommend either of them.

I've heard good things about both okcupid and eharmony, so I'd probably give one of them a shot. I've also heard good things about some of the more localized/specific sites. You can generally find these based on religions, area's, hobbies, and so on if you want to look a little more narrowly.

I'm probably going to be jumping on one of those this month sometime. Four years single is starting to wear on me a little, and while I'm not looking for a wife, a little companionship here and there wouldn't be the most horrible thing ever.

I've had two roommates try eHarmony. One got really into it and was paying the $60ish per month subscription fee. He met a wide variety of women, but none of them clicked. There were some awkward moments, the worst was a very aggressive goth dominatrix type (he was banned from meeting women at our hang-out bar after that one). The closest he got was a very level headed, successful business woman who he spent a lot of time with. But while she was interested in him, all he wanted was to be friends. We all thought he was crazy.

My other roommate never actually paid for the service, but filled out the lengthy questionnaire, which got him limited access to the site and showed him how many matches he got, and how many expressed interest in him. He got far, far more interest than my first roommate~the big difference between the two was in their listed job titles; the first roommate was a stone countertop and tile installer, while the second was the sales and operations manager of a light electrical/ special systems contractor.

The first guy wound up marrying a woman he met at work, while the second married a woman he met through a client he was friends with. So, as usual, YMMV. Don't expect the world out of it, but don't limit yourself, either, I guess.

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Women are from Hoboken, men are from Trenton. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

lol perfect bet this happens way more than we think

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

Took the plunge and signed up for a 6 month service.

Ready to be rejected/disappointed and set to square one now . . .

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Good call, LadyKate...

Don't limit yourself, Rodahn. Yeah, you may have to go through a lot of dross to get to the wheat, but once you get the wheat, it will all be worth it.

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Women are from Hoboken, men are from Trenton. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

My cousin used eHarmony. Married a girl he met, and was divorced within 2 years.

That's the extent of my experience with that particular site.

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“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” - Thomas Paine

You're not a very good cheerleader, DFK.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Well, he did ask for experiences people have had with the site and DFK! has given his (second hand) experience.

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Los Angeles Kings 2014 Stanley Cup Champions

"I love this **** team right here."
-Jonathan Quick

Rodahn, don't go in with this attitude..this will surely cause things to fail. Kate has good changes to your post

PS not all women want kids, even if they believe in the bible

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

I'm very interested about how eharmony.com fares for you. I considered it myself.

Currently I do this:

A) Go to a subway station.

B) Ask women who open their cells if they actually get reception. (since it's underground)

Works like a charm for starting conversation, and I don't seem creepy. I had 3 good conversations last night doing that, but it didn't go anywhere.

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"The map is not the territory."

I have a friend who used eHarmony, maybe she is again actually. Although maybe it was match, I'm not 100% sure. In any case I can tell you she's very smart, funny as hell, successful and looks damn good in a bikini.

Women get TONS of hits on these sites. Pure volume to sift through. As I understand it eHarmony is doing a lot of filtering for you so it might be worth a shot if you dont have any luck on other ones.

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“Strong people are harder to kill than weak people, and more useful in general”. - Mark Rippetoe