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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:06 pm 
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If neither of those appeal, I know an instructor for Southern US Moose Wrestling. :)

If you can wrestle a Southern Moose to a standstill, you can do anything!

/tease

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:12 pm 
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Diamondeye wrote:
Just as an aside, if you are a female and assaulted by a male, never go for a groin kick. It works only in the movies; in real life men expect it. Go for the eyes or the throat; if he can't see you or can't breathe, he can't do anything.

Eyes and throat are perfectly fine targets, but I think your groin kick scenario only holds true on a telegraphed kick. I would doubt that most males would be able to identify and deal with a quick shot to the nuts.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:49 pm 
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shuyung wrote:
Diamondeye wrote:
Just as an aside, if you are a female and assaulted by a male, never go for a groin kick. It works only in the movies; in real life men expect it. Go for the eyes or the throat; if he can't see you or can't breathe, he can't do anything.

Eyes and throat are perfectly fine targets, but I think your groin kick scenario only holds true on a telegraphed kick. I would doubt that most males would be able to identify and deal with a quick shot to the nuts.


Most males know that if a physical confrontation with a female is going to occur she is going to go for the nuts. Females are conditioned to do it because A) we are frequently shown an overestimate of its ability to incapacitate and B) because they are taught that it gives them power; that they've emascualted an "*******" and gained status.

In other words, its already telegraphed to any male who watches TV. Moreover, the testicles are easily protected by turning slightly, while one must necessarily keep the eyes and therefore the throat towards someone in order to attack them.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 7:37 pm 
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That's just F'd up. Glad ya gave em hell Kirra.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 7:41 pm 
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Excellent job in standing up for yourself!

Very glad that you are alright.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 8:20 pm 
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Diamondeye wrote:
Most males know that if a physical confrontation with a female is going to occur she is going to go for the nuts. Females are conditioned to do it because A) we are frequently shown an overestimate of its ability to incapacitate and B) because they are taught that it gives them power; that they've emascualted an "*******" and gained status.

In other words, its already telegraphed to any male who watches TV. Moreover, the testicles are easily protected by turning slightly, while one must necessarily keep the eyes and therefore the throat towards someone in order to attack them.

Most males in a physical confrontation with a female are highly overconfident. Most females are indeed *not* conditioned to strike the groin, or indeed at all.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:23 pm 
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My husband (ex-Marine, Viet Nam era) always taught me to go for the eyeballs and the ears. When you are holding their eyeball and/or their ear in your hands, reason says they won't be much into the fight at that point in time! Thankfully, I've never had to resort to that method to verify it's veracity!

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:12 pm 
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while a groin strike is painful, the body can continue to function, and someone can 'grin and bear it' through the pain, (even if it is excruciating)

A strike to the throat can be fatal or crippling to the point the body cannot function. A strike to the eye can literally be blinding, and again no amount of self discipline will allow you to see without eyes.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:48 am 
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Most men aren't able to grin and bear it. I think all men have taken a nut shot by the time they've reached adulthood. No, it doesn't instantly put us on the ground. However, it's bad enough that just seeing someone else get a nut shot (even on TV) hurts. Saying it only works in the movies is blatantly false. It's not a guarantee, that much is very true, but neither is the throat or the eyes. Also, since DE brought up movies and TV creating false expectations, I should point out that those same entertainment mediums also portray throat shots as being much easier than they actually are.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:01 am 
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Grrrrrrrrrrr..........

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 7:43 pm 
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We're here for you. And we know where to hide the bodies. ;)

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:02 am 
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shuyung wrote:
Diamondeye wrote:
Just as an aside, if you are a female and assaulted by a male, never go for a groin kick. It works only in the movies; in real life men expect it. Go for the eyes or the throat; if he can't see you or can't breathe, he can't do anything.

Eyes and throat are perfectly fine targets, but I think your groin kick scenario only holds true on a telegraphed kick. I would doubt that most males would be able to identify and deal with a quick shot to the nuts.


Actually, the groin-kick is a great distraction. Go for it, and be ready with an eye-strike at the same time, also be ready to leg-sweep after... he'll be off balance. If you can get him on the ground kick him in the head until the twitching stops.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:04 pm 
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Just when I thought things were over and would be getting better...

A friend of mine that works with my ex-husband, called me today. She told me that his gf came in and was showing everyone her "new" engagement ring. She started describing it to me.. it's my f**king wedding ring..he gave her my ring :( . My ring was very distinctive, and she described it exactly. After I had my miscarriage, I gave my ring to my mother-in-law, in hopes that she would talk to him and he would come and give it back to me. I kinda forgot about it with all of the things that have happened. My ring was over 5k...I am so f**king stupid, why didn't I sell it, at least =( Just yesterday he left me 4 voice mails begging forgiveness, telling me how sorry he was, and how it wouldn't happen again ever. He's f**king with my mind :cry:

Does anyone have the number to Jerry Springer? maybe I can get on the show so Steve can hold me back when I go after this b**ch. I am reduced to Jerry Springer show material.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 2:49 pm 
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shuyung wrote:
Diamondeye wrote:
Most males know that if a physical confrontation with a female is going to occur she is going to go for the nuts. Females are conditioned to do it because A) we are frequently shown an overestimate of its ability to incapacitate and B) because they are taught that it gives them power; that they've emascualted an "*******" and gained status.

In other words, its already telegraphed to any male who watches TV. Moreover, the testicles are easily protected by turning slightly, while one must necessarily keep the eyes and therefore the throat towards someone in order to attack them.

Most males in a physical confrontation with a female are highly overconfident. Most females are indeed *not* conditioned to strike the groin, or indeed at all.


This is something we're frequently told by anti-domestic-ciolence groups with a political interest in portraying women as helpless victims, but the reality is that violence by women has been on the rise for years, and women are not at all disinclined to fight back. Some women (and some men) are indeed conditioned not to fight, but they are not the most common occurance.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 5:31 pm 
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I think a key point there is that men have a different perception of what constitutes a threat. As a teenager, there would be evenings where my father came home from work, said hello, and socked me in the arm. Then I would punch him in the arm. Consequently, if a girlfriend or wife were to suddenly feel the urge to hit me, I may not immediately think of it as dangerous or abusive. Random arm punching is a thing that has happened to me in the past and seemed perfectly normal.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 7:03 pm 
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Man, what a **** douchebag.

/comforts

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 7:11 pm 
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Kirra wrote:
Does anyone have the number to Jerry Springer? maybe I can get on the show so Steve can hold me back when I go after this b**ch. I am reduced to Jerry Springer show material.


Steve has his own show now. He is not on Springer anymore. And no; you are not reduced to Jerry Springer material.. he is.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 7:16 pm 
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Diamondeye wrote:
This is something we're frequently told by anti-domestic-ciolence groups with a political interest in portraying women as helpless victims, but the reality is that violence by women has been on the rise for years, and women are not at all disinclined to fight back. Some women (and some men) are indeed conditioned not to fight, but they are not the most common occurance.

I haven't heard any anti-domestic violence groups espousing this viewpoint. Of course, I don't really pay any attention to them. I was merely relaying observations I've made from years of martial arts. It is the rare female with the ingrained inclination to violence. It is also the rare male without it.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 7:44 pm 
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darksiege wrote:
And no; you are not reduced to Jerry Springer material.. he is.

This.

I'm sorry this crap had to happen to you, Kirra. You deserve better :cry:

Kirra, you're not stupid. You got taken advantage of by someone you trusted. There's a difference. That's the nature of trust, and he used that trust, used it until there is nothing left. Take all the crap he's done, and put it in a circular file labeled "Why it's over", then close the lid and walk away.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 9:41 pm 
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Actually, next time your friend sees the new gf, have her ask quizzically "Isn't that the ring Kirra used to wear?" Maybe he hasn't told the new gf that he's recycling the ring. No matter what the answer, a simple, "Oh, okay." should be the response.

At least he bought one new for you. It only qualifies as an heirloom if he inherits it from a blood relative. Using his ex's ring again is just plain tacky.

Petty, yes. Satisfying, most likely. Always remember, vengeance is a dish best served cold.

As far as his apologizing to you over and over, I see two possibilities. One, you still have something he wants and he is afraid to ask for until he repairs the 'relationship' to at least not hostile; or two, he's still afraid you will press charges for the assault.

Maybe he's afraid you will tell the gf it was your ring, who knows.

You are only Jerry Springer material if you let yourself be. Look around the sig quotes, there is a good one to take to heart lurking out there.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:09 pm 
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Hitting a male in the lower groin is an excellent idea. No, it does not work on everyone. That being said, when it does work (Which is most of the time), it works very well, and can be crippling and possibly even lethal if you do it repeatedly or hard enough. That being said, any time one foot comes off the ground, you very much risk being put on your back, and at that point it becomes extremely difficult to win a confrontation.

Therefore, hit him in the eyes, throat, or nose as hard as you possibly can, at least twice. If an only if he is stunned or clutching a bleeding, broken nose, kick him as hard as you can in the lower groin with the point of your foot. If you are too close, use a knee, and do it twice with everything you can muster. Hell, do it a third time if they don't stop.

If he goes down, run like hell. If he doesn't go down, hit him in the nose/eyes/throat again. As hard as you possibly can.

When you hit someone, power starts with the ball of your foot, goes through your hips and then out through your tight fist. A lot of people try to generate power just with their arms, and that's not enough. Women have more lower body strength than men, so tapping into that is important for women's self defense. Specifically, the hips.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:02 am 
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Kirra, it's better that she takes your left overs than selling it for almost nothing and letting the ex think his stuff can still buy you happiness...

That's all it is hun, she's taking your left overs, things you're too good for and will always be too good for.

Personally, I believe it's better not to tell her just yet about the ring and secretly giggle at her secondhandedness. That way if she ever gets in your face about anything, you can really hit her where it hurts.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:47 am 
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/hugs Kirra

I said it before, I'll say it again...What an ***!!

Ignore him...ignore his phone calls, his text messages, his voice mail!

Hang in there...everything will be okay!! You are the better person in all of this...remember that...never forget it!! :)

Oh, and watch out for that Mus guy :P

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:50 am 
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Hang in there Kirra!

You have already shown much strength and I am sure you will continue and come out of this just fine.

He's a jackass. Forget about him.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:19 am 
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shuyung wrote:
Diamondeye wrote:
This is something we're frequently told by anti-domestic-ciolence groups with a political interest in portraying women as helpless victims, but the reality is that violence by women has been on the rise for years, and women are not at all disinclined to fight back. Some women (and some men) are indeed conditioned not to fight, but they are not the most common occurance.

I haven't heard any anti-domestic violence groups espousing this viewpoint. Of course, I don't really pay any attention to them. I was merely relaying observations I've made from years of martial arts. It is the rare female with the ingrained inclination to violence. It is also the rare male without it.


You won't hear them espouse the viewpoint overtly, but the general message of most of them is "women are helpless and can't defend themselves.... therefore they need our shelters and we need to keep getting money for them." Most anti-DV activity is really not oriented on reducing DV at all; reducing it would reduce the need for anti-DV services. This, as an aside is why "treatment" programs for male abusers focus on lecturing them on how awful they are for being men with a sense of entitlement, not on anger management, or other problems they actually have. Many domestic violence advocates will avoid any discussion, for example, of alcohol problems because they have esposued so deeply that DV is a male-on-female problem, and a problem of the basic mentality of men, and if alcohol dependancy is part of the problem that calls both assumptions into question.

Of course, DV is anything but a male-on-female problem (it is one of the more common types, but far from the overwhelming majority that many DV advocates claim) and it frequently involves alcohol abuse.

I understand generally what you are talking about with an "ingrained inclination to violence" but I would point out that the ingrained inclination of females to violence has been rising sharply in the last 10 to 15 years, and not (most likely) among the same population that goes to your dojo. Female gang membership and violence, for example, has increased significantly. More importantly, martial arts training is a controlled environment where one is (hopefully) not angry at or emotionally invested in one's sparring partner. It is more similar to a sports event in that regard, and males are far more likely to have played a spot where physical contact is encouraged and acceptable as part of it, and therefore more likely to translate that experience to the dojo. Females are less likely to have done so.

There's also the fact that the same acts are often excused as harmless or nonviolent by females when they would be unacceptable by males. This is common even on TV and has been for years; for example Claire Huxtable demonstrating what a tough, strong woman she is by putting Cliff in an armlock because she's mad over something having to do with her picture if she were to die. Had the situation been reveresed there would have been outrage, not amusement, even though the scene portrayed the armlock as quite painful.

The most gruesome (thankfully nonfatal) DV call I ever went to involved 4 females, no males, and a kitchern knife.

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