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Rafael
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 10:29 am 
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Screeling, pardon me if this is inaccurate, but did you once take comp time to get the home court advantage?

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LadyKate
PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 10:30 am 
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Foamy wrote:
The moral of the story, well....I don't think there is a moral.


The moral of the story is....not only do guys like to poop and have all sorts of elaborate rituals surrounding it, they also like to talk about and share stories, even if said stories do not have a point other than "hey check out this one time I almost shat myself!" :mrgreen:

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Foamy
PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 10:36 am 
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LadyKate wrote:
Foamy wrote:
The moral of the story, well....I don't think there is a moral.


The moral of the story is....not only do guys like to poop and have all sorts of elaborate rituals surrounding it, they also like to talk about and share stories, even if said stories do not have a point other than "hey check out this one time I almost shat myself!" :mrgreen:


BINGO!

and, LOL at seeing the word "shat" typed out.

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Screeling
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:06 am 
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Rafael wrote:
Screeling, pardon me if this is inaccurate, but did you once take comp time to get the home court advantage?

No, but I did actually use the "I left the oven on at home" excuse.

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Diamondeye
PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:24 am 
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Foamy wrote:
Warning: TMI incoming

On the way home back from dinner out, (I was driving) I suddenly had the urge to go. Normally I can make it. The pressure builds, I withstand, and it subsides. This happens in waves and i can make it home in time for home field advantage.

This time, though, the pain and pressure were enormous and it would NOT subside. It was literally *right there* and it was coming. We were only halfway home and it was getting near closing time for most retail establishments. Knowing that if I didn't find a place to stop, we were going to have a mess to clean up in the car, I pulled into a strip mall and waddled into Bed, Bath and Beyond. I seriously did not think I was going to make it and if the mens room was out of order for any reason, I was headed into the ladies room. And perish the thought if the store was closed; I shudder to think of what would have happened then.

The moral of the story, well....I don't think there is a moral.

Anyway, public toilets are not always bad. I only avoid them if there is *obvious* reason to avoid them. Otherwise, game on.


The restraunt we used to eat at a lot when I was a regular patrolman had some very significant effects similar to this on the digestion. It always cropped up 2-3 minutes after getting back in the car. I always headed straight for the station after eating knowing there was going to be a time-sensitive dump on the way, and sure enough, I was generally squeezing the cheeks by the time I got there. I was always in deep dread that there would be a call while I was doing this, but thankfully it never happened.

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Stathol
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:29 am 
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LadyKate wrote:
What'd you do just stand over the toilet dropping stuff in and seeing if it would go down?? Heh.
Actually that sounds kind of fun.

You've seen Will It Blend? haven't you?

I think we have a marketing idea here, waiting to be born. Does anyone have a phone number for American Standard Toilet?

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Elessar
PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:30 am 
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The first couple days of my 2 weeks on for work are always hell because my poo schedule is always messed up. During the 2 weeks off, I usually end up sleeping in so the poops come later in the morning, but when I'm at work we're usually flying at that time so the alarm is going off until I can get used to holding it for just a big one at the end of the day. It can be very hectic.

I hope you found this post informative and interesting.
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LadyKate
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:35 am 
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Stathol, I've actually never seen that. Man, I need one of those blenders!!!
You may be onto something here....

Elessar, I've seen you clean out the poop chute at work...you even posted pics of it! ;) BTW where's your avatar? :(

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Stathol
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:35 am 
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Stathol wrote:
I think we have a marketing idea here, waiting to be born. Does anyone have a phone number for American Standard Toilet?


Ahahaha! Damn you, Internet!

I guess at least now I know who to turn to if I ever start shitting chess pieces or golf balls.

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Müs
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:39 am 
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Epic.

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Micheal
PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:09 pm 
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I bring to you revelation that the Deucemaster is a false prophet!

He proclaims his excellence at producing the deuce, yet freely admits his self causation of hemorrhoids. If he were truly great at this art form, he would not be into self mutilation. What profiteth it a man to gain the entire whirl if he loseth his sphincter?

He may be a performance artist, artists hurt themselves on a regular basis, many die for their art - mostly it is self induced.

If he wants prophet status someone else has to cause him pain, torture, mutilation and colostomy bags. Prophet status does not come from self mutilation, only feature articles inthe sun, no where near Page 3.

Sorry Screeling, first you're going to have to go preach your gospel in public, get arrested and jailed for it, be publicly scorned in front of at least thousands, might want to go for something televised these days, then be assassinated by some nut job who disagrees with your teachings or is just plain offended by them - then you can go on to posthumously claim Deucemaster, Prophet.

We'll miss you.

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FarSky
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:13 pm 
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[youtube]VtPgEjETeVw[/youtube]

Yeah, it's like that.
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Hopwin
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:14 pm 
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LadyKate wrote:
darksiege wrote:
makes me glad I have an aversion to public toilets. I make sh*tbreak from American Pie look normal.


Men. And their pooping habits. I may never understand.

Next time you are in public look around at the dudes, I mean really look at them and then think whether or not you'd want your nether-regions touching the same surface as theirs.

I am shocked more women don't have an aversion to the public toilets especially considering the female bathroom is typically 20x worse than the men's. Must be that whole "hover" thing I hear about.

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Micheal
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:20 pm 
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/remembers that Hopwin was a janitor at one time.

/takes his word for it.

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