The Glade 4.0

As a Roman Catholic that is not true for us. My marriage does not count and I was living in sin. If I had told my priest I would have been strongly encouraged to not accept communion until I was right with the Lord.

Likewise the Catholic church does not recognize a secular divorce which means my soon-to-be-ex and I would still be married after our annulment unless the church recognized it.

Weird tradition but what are you going to do?

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This, most especially the last line. Marriage is a structure made by church and state to try and quantify and objectify love, trust and honesty. And as such will ALWAYS be only a shadow of the more important virtues.

I'd say thats the asian in ya =P Went through the same rant a while back...

Personally marriage is sacred (agnostic here). To me it's a contract you sign, and until you absolve yourself of that contract you need to try your hardest to fullfill ti's terms.

As such I guess I don't believe befriending someone who's seperated is wrong, but sleeping/dating them certainly is. If he really has feelings for you. He should be looking for a way to fast track his divorce.

I'm not aware of the other party not willing to sign the paper stopping a person's ability to divorce for years. Once you're seperated for 2 years here and can provide sufficient evidence of such, you get a 'get out of jail' free card from the courts.

I would say that, in my experience, dating a married person is very complicated. There are people trapped in horrible relationships that can't see the way out. They find their happiness where they can get it. Who am I to judge? There are people that are fighting tooth and nail to finalize a divorce, but the law and their soon to be X are making it incredibly complicated. There are people who are married who very happily have multiple partners outside of their relationship.

So, I don't think you can simply say the act of being romantically involved with a married/separared person is necessarily *wrong* across the boards.

That being said, there are scumbags that lie and cheat on their wives (I'm looking at you, John Edwards, John Ensign, John McCain, and John Kennedy) because they can, because they feel entitled to pussy/dick as a result of their bank account or political power, or both, or because they are just shitty people. Or, they're bored and don't know how to communicate with their spouse about it.

Finding the line is pretty tough.

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It feels like all the people who want limited government really just want government limited to Republicans.
---The Daily Show

I picked the first option as it's the closest to what I think, but it's not exactly what I believe. Dating someone who is separated can either be bad or no big deal depending on the situation.

My x dragged out divorce out for four years before it finally got finalized, and I started dating here and there in the third year. I knew there was absolutely no chance us getting back together, and had known since about six months into the separation.

Marriage can be sacred, but it's not necessarily always so. People who get married for money, for instance. Not sure how anyone would think that's a "sacred" marriage.

I would never even consider dating someone that was married or even seeing someone(no matter how casual it was). I would also leave a person if I found out they were lying to me about being in a relationship with someone else. Then again, I find it hard to believe I would ever be in a relationship with anyone for any reason to start with, so maybe my views on the matter are irrelevant.

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Los Angeles Kings 2014 Stanley Cup Champions

"I love this **** team right here."
-Jonathan Quick

Dating a married person is defintely wrong as far as I'm concerned, when the other partner doesn't know or approve. If the other person in the marriage knows and approves then... I really don't know, nor do I think it's any of my buisness. My wife and I don't do that and if others choose to that's their buisness.

Separated is a lot more complex, but I would say that dating a separated person is usually wrong.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

On her death bed, my great-grandmother told a priest to go to Hell, because she wasn't signing some piece of paper that said she was never married to my great-grandfather in order to get into Catholic Heaven.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

props to your great-grandmother... She must have been one fiesty lady.

She eloped sometime before 1911 because the Catholic church wouldn't approve her marriage. She didn't die until around 1980. I can only imagine how insulted she was when a priest showed up out of nowhere after seventy years to tell her to recant her marriage.

Honestly, I don't think feisty had anything to do that. You just... don't say that to a ninety year-old man or woman. People don't suddenly stop being married when their spouse dies. Even old people who remarry don't generally consider themselves separated from their deceased spouse.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

Recanting her marriage would have made all her kids bastards in the eyes of the church and made a case for challenging their automatic inheritance of her estate, if there was one.

This is a tactic used by the church for many centuries, frequently they would swoop in and make a claim on the estate of a church member that had no legitimate heirs, invalidating a marriage where the currently legitimate heirs were not good Catholics properly tithing to the church would be a huge target. It would be difficult to enforce here in the USA, but it doesn't mean some unscrupulous jerk priest wouldn't try. This would be in the vein of pay me off and I'll go away, unless there is a hook in the last will and testament that will give me more.

I'm Catholic by the way. The Church is far from perfect.

Back to the OT, I chose Option 1, though I feel there are times dating a separated person is reasonable, as in no chance of reconciliation and the divorce just isn't final yet. My beliefs are very close to what FarSky said.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Yeah, when my mother told me the story, she opined that the priest was just trolling the hospital to try and rob dying old people. (It was her grandmother).

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

The one thing I do not understand..nor ever will..is why cheat at all. If you decided you do not want to be with me anymore, man up! Tell me and then we go our separate ways. Don't do it behind my back, then leave with no explanation.

Why does this have to happen? Is it because you want to have both of us until you decide which one is better or the decision is made for you? I just don't get it..get a divorce and then be with the other person.

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

I chose the first option. From personal experience, I was very attracted to a married coworker. I realzed it one night when we were working together, but I never acted upon it--because she was married. I can't honestly say what would have happened if she had approached me, however...I was only 20.

Another time, I was approached by a co-worker who I had only considered as a friend. She was in the middle of a sudden divorce, but I told her nothing would happen until the divorce was final. We did go out, once, and I treated it "as friends". From there, it fizzled, and nothing ever came of it. I was 32.

I also won't consider an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife of any of my friends, although not all of my friends feel the same way...

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Women are from Hoboken, men are from Trenton. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

Kids is often the reason Kirra I suspect. And the disapproval of family.

I think it is a safety net for some people, for others sex just doesn't mean anything to them.

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Legally, "separated" is the same as married, at least around here, and depending on the circumstances of the separation (such as the required time for some divorces), any intimacy involved while "separated" can be used against that person when it comes division of assets, custody, etc.

Plus, you could end up on a billboard

What a gem of an url...and you didn't post it in Hellfire under "Key/prominent Obama advisor accused of 8 year betrayal" or something? Such a waste. What a pity.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

I chose the second option, although of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. I don't believe you can use a set of principles across the board to everyone, and that applies here. I have known people that were separated, and that was the same as divorced without the paperwork. I have known people who separated and eventually worked it out. Hell, I've known people that were married, are now divorced, have lived together for years and date other people and still live together and love each other. There are too many possibilities to make a blanket judgement.

Each marriage is exactly as sacred, and only as sacred, as the involved individuals choose to make it. If you're fooling around with someone who has sworn to forever remain faithful to his/her partner, you are contributing to a "bad thing" happening and should consider whether or not there are extenuating circumstances or whether or not you can live comfortably with the situation and your role in it. If, however, you are fooling around with someone who's involved in a wide-open relationship and your actions/intentions are in accordance with the spirit of that relationship (ie: you're not trying to break them up and steal one partner away from another), you should have no cause for misgivings or guilt feelings.

Unanimous informed consent is what it's all about. If you don't have that, chances are there's something wrong.

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Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

I was so hoping that the Edwards scandal would end with his wife saying
"The decision to allow my husband to find a sexual outlet while I was ill is a private one, and not something I feel is anyone elses concern. Please concentrate on the issues!" Or maybe "Our relationship with Rielle is one of mutual love and respect. She has our full support, and we welcome both her and her child into our family."

Poor Elizabeth. Already sick and having to face her shitbag husbands penis-following, and then the media required that she either 'stand by her man' or be the woman scorned. And she was going to get flogged whichever she chose.

"Seperated" isn't a word. But I'd only date single guys. Er, one single guy. Er, one guy who used to be single. People who pull that separated crap are full of it.

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Sometimes it's the tiger or the tiger

"But Amdee, darling, you're a homicidal maniac..."-Mickell

What about divorced and living in the same house? (though nothing romantic was happening between me and my ex-wife)

You're going to have to start your own poll for that one...

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth