The Glade 4.0

you should hear how many times Lisa comes home really disturbed by having to develop these kinds of pictures...

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Darksiege
Traveller, Calé, Whisperer
Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut

0.o

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Holy shitsnacks!

In some cultures photographing the deceased is standard, and often those photos are then prominantly displayed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-mortem_photography

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Memento Vivere

I have local knowledge.
That sandbar was not there yesterday!

Having been there and taken pictures of my own son lost at 23 weeks, it was highly suggested by the staff counselor. Even if the family does (and even if they do not themselves) the hospital will also take pictures (but not if the family insistently refuses). These are for the grieving process.

With pictures, you have something tangible to view and remember the brief time with your lost child. For my own part, I viewed them a few times during the first year, including his birthday and again on his second. With his third birthday coming up, it will likely happen again, especially since we lost another at 11 weeks this past January. Sadly, this latest failure likely was our last time trying to have children, as my wife (at least for now) is unwilling to chance it happening again.



As for the name. I'll only comment since, as indicated, the decision has been made. My suggestion would be to go with what you feel is right.

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Gorse

I'm sorry for you and your wife's losses, Gorse. That's very sad.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Sorry to hear that Gores.

If we were talking about an uncommon name I might advise you to pick another one, but James is SO common that it's just silly to let her BS bother you... and I'd say the same thing if her child had lived. I worked with a girl who, through her entire pregnancy and since she was a little girl, planned to name her child Johanna and was furious when her sister-in-law (who though she was having a boy and didn't) 'stole' the name a month before her due date. Her little girl is named Johanna Real (re-ALL) and called 'Ree'.

You should do what you want to do. If you want to keep your promise to your mother do that, and if you are weirded out by this whole situation then change it. I don't know that i would want to use the name of a child who had died resently (even if it was deliberatly stolen) and I might consider taking dads middle name, and keeping the promise that way.

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I prefer to think of them as "Fighting evil in another dimension"

I still think switching the order from James Elvis to Elvis James is an equitable solution. He'll appreciate it when he's older, and everyone's calling him 'King.' Like I said earlier - he'll be just like his daddy.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

Sorry for your losses Gorse.

It might help to know that early pregnancy losses are very common and are extimated to be 50% of all pregnancies. Modern medicine allows us to know about a pregnancy much earlier. It HURTS to lose a child and now we know when we have lost one. 30 years ago we would not have known.

Be that as it may, I still hurt when I lost 3, prior to having my son.

Current estimate is that a person who has lost 3 pregancies in a row has a 40% chance of the next pregnancy being successful.

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Memento Vivere

I have local knowledge.
That sandbar was not there yesterday!

my mother is an ob/gyn and counsels people not to even inform others of a pregnancy during the first trimester. Having to have people come up to you and ask about it months later if they didnt hear about a miscarriage but did hear about the pregnancy can be traumatic.

See, I wonder about that advice. It would seem to me worse to be grieving over such a deep loss and not have anyone acknowledge it or even aware of it.
But having not personally been in those shoes, I couldn't say.
Both times I found out I was pregnant I let the cat out of the bag right away.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

First, my apologies to Ladykate (and Nightfox) as I wasn't trying to hijack the thread.

I appreciate the kind words from folks. I guess I went a little too deep trying to explain why people take those types of photos. I was trying to point out that families are encouraged to take the photos (if they haven't already taken steps on their own) because there are a ton of things to worry about at once (health of the baby, health of the mother, time in the hospital, medical bills, sharing information with the family & friends, funeral arrangements and I'm sure more I missed).

I guess my point was/is that the pictures are not creepy or disturbing at all if you have the right perspective.

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Gorse

Lol you didn't hijack the thread. I was finished and the subject moved on...thats the normal course of conversation, IMO.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

My sympathies Gorse!

LK, stick with your original name choice! Never give the ex that edge over you! I speak from experience!

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"Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use one!"~ Matthew Quigley

"nothing like a little meow in bed at night" ~ Bruskey

"I gotta float my stick same as you" Hondo Lane

"Fill your hand you son of a *****!"

Keep the name, and while you're at it, tell her to shut the **** up as loudly and belligerantly as you can manage.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

And keep doing that until you are out of breath.

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Raell Kromwell