The Glade 4.0

Not one of you guys has a small weenie? The law of averages must be skewed....or one of you is lying about your name. Wonder if I can guess who it is....

It may not be long, but I can touch all 4 sides of a can of spam yo.

Moose
An extremely powerful, noble, and majestic creature that emjoys frolicking in the woods, grazing in fields, and break dancing to old skool hip-hop.
The mighty moose gallops through the woods with great easy.
The moose grazes in the fields as do many of its brethren.
Awwww ****, did you see that moose bust a windmill?

moose
(n) An affectionate term to describe someone socially inept (or at least awkward). Moose tend to have specialized knowledge on some geeky topic, such as star wars, dnd, star trek, lord of the rings, etc. Drama and art majors tend to be moose. Acts of moosery are possible from anyone whether they are a moose generally or not, as long as they miss some conversational subtlety and fall on their face in an attempt to make a joke. Moose tend to have trouble getting dates, because moosery is not as celebrated in this society as it ought to be.
(origin) From the movie "Stay" with Ewan McGregor.

(adj) moose. can also be used as an adjective to describe someone who is a moose.
Some famous moose are:

Ewan McGregor,
Threepio,
Nicolas Cage,
Benny and Joon,
Characters from I <3 Huckabees,
Johnny Depp,
Brian Gernand,
Telford Work,

moose
Affectionate nickname for a well-endowed friend.
We call him Moose, 'cause he's hung like one.