Sit-ups or crunches?
Sit-ups should be with something stabilizing your feet. They tend to be hard on the lower discs in your spine. I like to do them on the decline benches at the gym that have ankle and knee braces. These are the same benches you often see people using to do decline benchpess - they work for both.
When you get comfortable at a given incline, add in a medicine ball, and when you get really comfortable, add in a partner you throw the medicine ball to.
Leg lifts will work your lower rectus abdominis (the six pack muscles). Add a twist to emphasize obliques as well.
If you still are getting pains, go buy a stability ball, the giant bouncy balls. They are about $15 or so, not too expensive.
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The nice thing about the stability balls is that they require lateral and medial stability too, not just longitudinal meaning it engages your obliques (the muscles on the sides of the six pack muscles). Do them slowly at first, get a feel for the balance. You can do tons of lifts on the stability ball too, once you get used it, like dumbell bench press, skull crushers, sit and do single arm bicep curls etc, but for now, do the crunches.
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