Taamar wrote:
I'm only bothered by it when it's treated as a standard thing yes my 'blessed be' is somehow outre. A person wishes the blessings of their deity on me? How kind and thoughtful! I wish the blessings of mine right back! What bothers me is when they assume that the blessings of THEIR god mean something lovely and MINE are evil. Similarly, around the holidays people say "merry Christmas" and act like I'm ruining their life when I merely wish them a 'happy holiday'. ("What, you don't believe in Our Lord? Jesus is the reason for the season! You're what's wrong in this Christian nation!" as if we didn't have winter before Christ.) I'm always tempted to say 'Heathen's greetings!', but no need to add fuel to the fire.
I should point out that according to Christian teachings, the blessings of your God
are evil simply because worship of any other God is not acceptable. Therefore, some people simply will not see any reason why your greeting shold be treated the same way as their greeting. Asking that they not see it that way is essentially asking that they surrender a very important aspect of their faith simply to protect their sensibilities. (I should point out that I think their interpretation is somewhat ignorant of the entirity of Biblical teachings on the matter as well, but I'd rather not go into just why now, nor in public, despite the recent removal of the Glade-douchebag-in-chief, so that's neither here nor there.)
Of course, I'm sure you understand that this sort of cretin is
really only concerned with appearing properly offended at your different beliefs lest the local Beryllin correct them in their "walk" for not being sufficiently loud in denouncing your beliefs.
The problem is that this sort of assholean behavior isn't going to go away, and I find it rather bizarre that you complain about it, yet continue to expose your beliefs and yourself to this sort of abuse by continuing to respond with "Blessed Be" or "Happy Holidays" instead of "Hello" or "Goodbye". If you wish to do so simply because you feel you shouldn't have to silence yourself, more power to you, but then don't expect them to silence themselves either. You'll simply have to be content with the fact that they can't actually
make you stop saying that, which annoys many of them no end.
In other words, not having them get all upset and go into hystrionics and not having to avoid revealing your beliefs are simply not compatible goals.
Quote:
As an aside, I once worked with a woman who used god's name as a verbal tic. "So this morning, praise God, I got in my car and love-the-Lord the window was frosted over. Praise God! So I went back inside, thanks-be-to-Jesus, and got a blessed cup of hot water to clear it. God bless if that window didn't shatter, praise the Lord! Mercy!" I've often wondered if she had Tourette's or something.
People like that are tremendously annoying, and strike me as trying too hard. I'm also rather curious as to what sort of idiot pours hot water on a frosted window instead of using the damn scraper.
Quote:
If they are at my door they are already being overly agressive.
I don't see how this could be considered "overly aggressive", and I didn't realize we were talking about people at your house; it seemed we were discussing passersby when you were out.
Quote:
When I saw 'no thank you' they don't drop it and go away... they seem to think that I'm playing hard-to-get, or that the ones who protest the most are those most in need. Or something. And if I were to show up at your door and say 'Hey, we're going to have a circle for the full moon tonight, there's be cookies!" I think a reply of 'No, thank you, I'm Christian' would be perfectly acceptable. I certainly wouldn't back away fearfully! Think of it like this... some dude comes up and asks you on a date. Do you say "No, thank you" or do you say "no, thank you, I'm straight?" to head off future propositions? And if you do so, are you rubbing his nose in your sexuality?
If someone won't leave your doortstep after you've told them to that's what we have the police for. As for you not taking offense if someone said "no thanks I'm Christian", that's fine for you, but if they just said "no, thanks" that would obviously be just fine too, wouldn't it? Do you need a reason for someone to say not thanks?
I should also point out that when you point out that you're straight, you're pointing out something that, insofar as we can tell, is fixed about your physiology. Religion, on the other hand, is not necessarily fixed. People can and do find, abandon, and change their faiths based on quite a few things. From their point of view, your response of "I'm a Pagan" reveals that you
are in need, whereas me saying I'm straight is not going to reveal to a gay person that if only he keeps at it I'll catch the gay from him. They don't know that you won't eventually change your mind because some people
do change their minds.
Of course, the fact that these people don't just leave and then try again months or years later only reveals their own lack of a grasp on basic social skills, but giving the explaination of "I'm pagan" is really choosing to give them information that they aren't entitled to. Because it religion isn't an immutable aspect of a person and because they don't need that information to understand your refusal it does carry a sense of "rubbing their nose in it".
Quote:
I suppose "No, thank you, I'm already involved with a group I'm very happy with" would work, but it sounds so contrived. And then they say 'God bless' and I say 'blessed be' and they back away fearfully.
Like I said before, if you're really that concerned about such minor things as them backing away fearfully "goodbye" works quite well. If on the other hand you get a kick out of them backing away fearfully (and I sure would; what the hell do they think you're going to do?) then by all means go ahead and keep saying Blessed Be, but then recognize that you're choosing to expose your beliefs to negative attention in order to rub their nose in it.
Quote:
I'm pretty considerate. I don't give anyone grief for their jewelry, I don't show up at religious gatherings to hurl insults, I don't mock beliefs. I recommend visiting clergy to people in conflict. I support prayer if all kind. Yes, there's some lighthearted goofing, but not nearly what my own religion gets from me. Keep in mind that I was raised Christian... I know it much better than non-pagans know paganism. I'm not afraid of it. I want the same for all religions.
If you know it, then you should readily grasp that a major aspect of Christianity is that worship of other gods is
not okay.
There's lots of ways of going about handling this. Personally I handle it by not worrying much about it; I can't predict the future and I have no idea where a person will go in life, nor do I know where they really stand; after all God says "I will have mercy on who I will have mercy and I will have compassion on who I will have compassion." I feel that the wiser course is simply to wait until someone asks me for information, or until I know them well enough that an invitation to church won't be seen as pushy.
Some people, however, don't take it that way, and quite frankly that's because for a lot of them they are very concerned with not doing anything that could be considered "being ashamed of their beliefs". When you say "Blessed Be" or whatever, there is a little voice inside them saying "You better let her know right now how you feel about that, or God's gonna hammer you for being ashamed!"
I could spend a great deal of time pointing out the shallowness and theological weakness of such a position, but no matter how many times I knock down that weeble-wobble, it willl not change the fact that they feel that way.
Like I said before, you can either challange them by putting your beliefs out there just as they do, or you can hide your beliefs and get less of this sort of ham-handed prostelytizing, but you can't have both. It seems from your comments, however, that you want both. I should also point out that while you may be considerate, not everyone else is. "Fundie", "Bible Thumper", "Holy Roller", and "Jesus Freak" and quite a lot of other rudeness get tossed at people just for, say, having a public Bible study. Some people open up with a barrage of blasphemy and abuse at the first sign of a cross or Bible because they just assume anyone who displays Christianity in any way is a follower of Reverend Phelps.
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
