The Glade 4.0

Smug Gamer Quotes

Everybody knows at least one gamer who is an insufferable jackass. And if you don't know one, then chances are good you are that insufferable jackass, spitting out smug stuff like, "Final Fantasy VII is overrated." You cannot just enjoy games for yourself, you have to crap all over everybody else's tastes because they are not as refined as yours. We've assembled seven classic smug gamer lines posted on message boards or overheard at the local GameStop, and pointed out exactly why each of them is not just incorrect, but annoying as hell.

"Realistic graphics trump kiddie/minimalist art styles."
Since the dawn of gaming, people have set out to make videogames look as true to life as possible, leading to graphical triumphs like Heavy Rain and Modern Warfare 2. But games of their ilk never age well -- jebus, we once thought the characters in Mortal Kombat looked realistic -- whereas a stylized game like Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker will always look great.

"I only listen to the Japanese voice tracks in JRPGs."
Sorry you had to miss out on Final Fantasy XIII then. Blame the Xbox 360, because everybody knows the reason Square cut it is because the 360 has such tiny discs. It had absolutely nothing to do with them redoing all of the cutscenes to lip sync with the English voices, something that cost considerable time and money.

"Longer games are better games."
No, they're not. Padding a game with endless dialogue, constant backtracking and useless sidequests for the sole purpose of extending their length does not make them superior to a concise and focused ten-hour game simply because they last longer. See: God of War I – III.

"I don't play… waggle games. The Wii is for babies."
Then so are your Xbox 360 and PS3, because both Microsoft and Sony looked at the Wii's billion-dollar business and decided they want some of that. If you think the Sony Move isn't Wii HD, then you are in serious denial.

"No multiplayer, no buy."
People have been increasingly obsessing over this one in last few years, to the point where developers just assume that we don't even need single-player campaigns anymore. Uh, we do.

"Real gaming died with the Dreamcast."
This is actually true. Since SEGA discontinued the Dreamcast in early 2001 because it simply could not keep up with demand, no actual videogames have come out. Just light shows operated by win buttons. Oh, and SEGA really wanted to keep making games in the Jet Set Radio and Panzer Dragoon universes, but just decided against doing so out of spite...

"I won't play a game that runs lower than 60 frames per second."
Then you better stop watching movies right now, because those are filmed at an epic fail rate of 24 frames per second. Don't worry, we'll let you know what happens in TRON: Legacy.

It depends on what type of game it is. 25 hours is the bare minimum for an RPG for me. If it is any less, I feel cheated. Really, though...most RPGs, even the older ones like Final Fantasy 6 or 7 can be finished under 10 hours. All of the length comes from leveling up and fighting all of the extra uber bosses. I happen to enjoy that a great deal. Then you have these open world games like Fallout 3 and the Elder Scroll games. Those also appeal to me because I really love the open exploration I get out of them. I could just wander around for hours on end finding hidden caves and such. Hell, I haven't found everything on either game and I've sunk well over 300 hours into each respectively. Not to mention that you have various ways to play these games(in terms of stats and skills, or even on the good versus evil side, something you don't get out of JRPGs).

But it's hard to make a first person shooter or action game longer than 20 hours because it really is just more of the same. Without some kind of character advancement, I can get bored after 20 hours. I think that is the main thing. A game needs to have some sort of character advancement for me to really enjoy it. Either by upgrading stats or upgrading weapons in some fashion. If all I have to look forward to is more badguys to kill, I'll want to beat it as soon as possible. But if I have stats to max out and upgrades to finish off, I will find my self playing the game a lot longer.

I still feel cheated by Parasite Eve!

"I don't play… waggle games. The Wii is for babies."
Then so are your Xbox 360 and PS3, because both Microsoft and Sony looked at the Wii's billion-dollar business and decided they want some of that. If you think the Sony Move isn't Wii HD, then you are in serious denial.

Awesome, although I disagree with "Longer games are better games." If they can't make a game longer than 6 hours without making it suck, then they suck. Although I consider that problem linked with "No multiplayer, no buy."

"I won't play a game that runs lower than 60 frames per second."
Then you better stop watching movies right now, because those are filmed at an epic fail rate of 24 frames per second. Don't worry, we'll let you know what happens in TRON: Legacy.

Facism is not a school of thought, it is a racial slur.