The Glade 4.0

On any given weekday my dog Faith and I have been known to retire between 10:45 and midnight since I wake for work at 6:45. Tonight we laid down at 11:00, about fifteen minutes later we are roused by a faint but persistent scratching noise. Thinking it was beginning to rain, I rolled over and did my best to ignore it. Faith however perked up and began to stare at the upper corner of the room as if her eyes could burn holes through the drywall. Whatever, she's a dog, I ignore her too.

Within minutes the noise grows louder and I can now hear something scurrying in the rafters. Having just finished watching Scooby-Doo we proceeded to investigate in the only appropriate manner. I grabbed a flashlight and Faith ran off (ostensibly to obtain "Scooby Snax" but in actuality to hide).

I went upstairs into the crawlspace in the attic expecting to find a squirrel or even a mouse. Ducking under sagging insulation and cobwebs I proceeded on my hands and knees into the gloom. The sound had by now stopped but I knew it was up there hiding in some dark, musty corner and I was intent to shoo it out.

As I approached the farthest reaches of the attic a shape emerged from the stygian blackness. Far too large to be a local critter and definitely not alive. I abandoned my search for the elusive creature and took the object out with me. Here is what I found:






And what was that in the corner?


As I type this the house is once again silent, I presume because the horrors I uncovered above, now freed from their dusty tomb are now plotting the most sinister way possible to swallow my soul. Wish me luck dear reader and pray that I make it to the dawn.



*edit* None of that stuff is mine, it apparently came with the house

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AAAAAAHHHHH KILL IT WITH FIRE

Nuke it from orbit! It's the only way to be sure!!

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"Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use one!"~ Matthew Quigley

"nothing like a little meow in bed at night" ~ Bruskey

"I gotta float my stick same as you" Hondo Lane

"Fill your hand you son of a *****!"

dude....
HP Lovecraft wrote about your house...

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Darksiege
Traveller, Calé, Whisperer
Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut

If I ever get another cat, I'm naming it this.

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Holy shitsnacks!

One of my favorite threads in months.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

Epic thread, Hop.

You have seen that at which dogs howl in the dark, and that at which cats prick up their ears after midnight.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

Don't burn it. Sell it on Ebay, hoping the lost soul will go with the items.

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Raell Kromwell

Perhaps my semi-digested soul would increase the resale value.

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You post in Hellfire, there is nothing left for them to devour. Consider yourself inoculated against such threats.

GET OUT!

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"It is true that democracy undermines freedom when voters believe they can live off of others' productivity, when they modify the commandment: 'Thou shalt not steal, except by majority vote.' The politics of plunder is no doubt destructive of both morality and the division of labor."

This. Some people on Ebay are willing to shell out big bucks for stuff with supernatural backstories.

Now, having said that...



Absolutely this.

Look occassionally the walls leak red Kool-Aid, an army of evil soul sucking dolls lives in the crawlspace and glasses are sometimes shattered, but the school system is great and its on the lake.

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Dude... just remember; good Hop, bad Hop... Be the guy with the gun.

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Darksiege
Traveller, Calé, Whisperer
Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut

Antiques Roadshow, man. Fifty year-old dolls, a leering monkey, and a ghost story? You'd definitely get air time.

There are a few "Bowl A Strike" games on Ebay (including one from 1962), but none that quite seem to match what you have there.

Looks like you have a Kewpie doll in there, but it may be a knock-off. Real Kewpie dolls can be worth serious money.

The monkey's probably worth something, after you exorcise it.

Heck, I'd give you a couple bucks for the newspaper, at a yard sale.

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This cold and dark tormented hell
Is all I`ll ever know
So when you get to heaven
May the devil be the judge

Hop, you have cute toes.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Thanks, I just shaved.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

No one else noticed that in the first photo there seems to be an escaping ghost?

This is three threads we having going on involving nuking from orbit.

I feel all warm and fuzzy.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

Hopwin, you should abstain from posting for a little while after announcing you preparations for cleansing your house to create the whole, "What was Hopwin's fate?" buzz ;P

Two days after Thanksgiving is the 50th Anniversary of the shroud. I suggest asking Nitefox and LadyKate if you can spend Thanksgiving with them, far away from your place.

Or, cough, pick some other Glader or Gladers to help you indulge your irrational fears.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Any recommendations Micheal?

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The Power of Christ Compels you!
The Power of Christ Compels you!
The Power of Christ Compels you!

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Holy shitsnacks!