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 Post subject: Re: Talking to strangers
PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2010 6:02 pm 
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Asperger syndrome or Asperger's syndrome is an autism spectrum disorder, and people with it therefore show significant difficulties in social interaction, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests. It differs from other autism spectrum disorders by its relative preservation of linguistic and cognitive development. Although not required for diagnosis, physical clumsiness and atypical use of language are frequently reported.[1][2]
Asperger syndrome is named for the Austrian pediatrician Hans Asperger who, in 1944, described children in his practice who lacked nonverbal communication skills, demonstrated limited empathy with their peers, and were physically clumsy.[3] Fifty years later, it was standardized as a diagnosis, but many questions remain about aspects of the disorder.[4] For example, there is doubt about whether it is distinct from high-functioning autism (HFA);[5] partly because of this, its prevalence is not firmly established.[1] The diagnosis of Asperger's has been proposed to be eliminated, replaced by a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder on a severity scale.[6]
The exact cause is unknown, although research supports the likelihood of a genetic basis; brain imaging techniques have not identified a clear common pathology.[1] There is no single treatment, and the effectiveness of particular interventions is supported by only limited data.[1] Intervention is aimed at improving symptoms and function. The mainstay of management is behavioral therapy, focusing on specific deficits to address poor communication skills, obsessive or repetitive routines, and physical clumsiness.[7] Most individuals improve over time, but difficulties with communication, social adjustment and independent living continue into adulthood.[4] Some researchers and people with Asperger's have advocated a shift in attitudes toward the view that it is a difference, rather than a disability that must be treated or cured.[8]


Emphases are mine.

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PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2010 7:39 pm 
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The girl I am hooking up with doesn't think I have Asperger's... her job is working with autistic children.


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 1:08 am 
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Lex, the question still remains...what's your criteria for "an amazing girlfriend"?. What differentiates this "amazing woman" from the women who merely will sleep with you with minimal investment (time and money) from you?

Lex, the thing that most people here are reacting to is that you are overdoing it, and that along the way you are demonstrating little to no actual interest in your "target's" feelings, wants, or desires beyond putting Tab P into Slots A, V, or M. Yes, you are learning how to manipulate people into getting what you want...but that's not what a relationship is built on.

I see you getting very good at starting shallow relationships, Lex. Your attitude means none of them will last long, or be particularly deep or stable.

I don't see you as having Aspergers, or being a serial killer, Lex. But I do think you'll likely still wind up in rehab eventually. Say hi to Charlie Sheen and Tiger Woods for us when you're in group therapy!

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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 1:53 am 
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I just finished reading this thread from beginning to end...

As a parent... if I ever found out one of my children were acting in the fashion that you are Lex, I would have them commited pending a full psychiatric evalutation.

You are ill, I only hope you realize this and seek professional help. And using your bipolar disorder as an excuse is just plain cowardly.

Otherwise... there have been some posts by complete and utterly contempatble douchebags.. but oh well, what else is new on this board?

I would tend to agree with Nitefox on the general vibe in this thread. But I feel that giving in and saying he is a future Serial Killer Trading Card subject is a bit premature... I am sure one day he will be shot for his antics, and will learn at that time.

It would really suck for Lex for one of the groups of girls he approaches to have an overprotective parent following along behind.

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 Post subject: Re: Talking to strangers
PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 7:10 am 
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darksiege:

Didn't you sleep with 40 girls in a year?

:roll:


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 7:21 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Talking to strangers
PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 9:04 am 
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Lex Luthor wrote:
darksiege:

Didn't you sleep with 40 girls in a year?

:roll:


Because learning from experience and then passing it on to others is never a good idea or anything.

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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 9:24 am 
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If darksiege is allowed to have fun, then I can to. Then maybe after I will tell people that they shouldn't do it. My psychiatrist today told me it's really important to start using protection. I think I'll take her advice.


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 9:41 am 
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Colphax wrote:
Lex, the question still remains...what's your criteria for "an amazing girlfriend"?. What differentiates this "amazing woman" from the women who merely will sleep with you with minimal investment (time and money) from you?


She needs to be pretty, smart, honest, open, loyal, and strong-willed. And needs to have a sense of humor. She also needs to be my age or younger. She can't be black or Asian. She has to live near me or with me. She can't be strongly religious to the point that it affects anything.


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 12:18 pm 
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I'm going to throw this out there, and I know I'm guilty of using it.

Douchebag is the most overused word of the decade.

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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 12:23 pm 
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Lex Luthor wrote:
The girl I am hooking up with doesn't think I have Asperger's... her job is working with autistic children.


I have a brother with Asperger's. I see some similarities. Just pointing it out.

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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 12:32 pm 
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Just because I choose a certain way of life doesn't mean I have Asperger's.


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 12:39 pm 
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Also telling me I have various forms of mental issues or am going to be a killer, etc., is a form of personal attack. I don't appreciate it. I already have a psychiatrist. I was an inpatient at a psychiatric hospital. I don't need all your **** diagnoses.


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 12:46 pm 
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Lex Luthor wrote:
Also telling me I have various forms of mental issues or am going to be a killer, etc., is a form of personal attack. I don't appreciate it. I already have a psychiatrist. I was an inpatient at a psychiatric hospital. I don't need all your **** diagnoses.


Then stop posting behavior leading to those conclusions. It's not a personal attack since you created a thread with YOURSELF as the topic in the first place. It would be a personal attack if we were discussing something to which your personal life wasn't relevant, but since you chose to make your personal behavior everyone else's buisness it's your own damn fault. We've been over this before with other people; if you post personal issues you're not entitled to only get responses that please you.

If you don't like it, stop posting **** that makes people think that.

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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 1:02 pm 
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I think you're right Diamondeye. I changed my mind. But I'll keep posting.


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 2:51 pm 
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I really should have gone ahead with some pools on this.

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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 3:35 pm 
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I think I no longer lose sleep due to social pressure, since I'm kinda desensitized and it doesn't rile me up as much. I can say anything I want to any number of people and my heart doesn't race very much. I'm free to be myself (not completely yet, but more so than ever before). It's pretty cool... now I can run around and have even more fun. Unfortunately today and the last two days were taken up with apartment searching business.

My biggest concern is losing sleep and becoming hypomanic again.


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 9:26 pm 
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From the time I lost my virginity to the time I met my daughters mother... I did in fact sleep with over 40 women: There is however a difference between giving a creepy stalker vibe and getting a lot of hookups.

Many many of the women I slept with were skanky sluts; the kind a person should have no compunctions about asking to leave afterwards.

I also got at least one *** beating due to the type of women I was messing with. I HAD to have almost quarterly disease tests, to make sure I was not going to die...

And being a meth-addict and an alcoholic really blinds you to many of the dangers of what your actions can really do to you.

Another big difference is when a woman says to leave... you leave. You approach someone, you try talking.. you get told to leave, you leave.

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 Post subject: Re: Talking to strangers
PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:11 am 
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darksiege:

That was only one time when I was asked to leave and I didn't. It was because they were incredibly rude. Nowadays I would just leave because it is a waste of time and it does not entertain me to piss people off intentionally. Sometimes I might piss people off unintentionally but in these scenarios I am just trying to be myself. After I notice they have bad responses or bad body language, I leave. I have a pretty good understanding now of when a social situation is unfixable, and it's no use making an *** out of myself.

Many of you misunderstand the dangers of what I am doing. I approach friendly looking people 95% of the time. I generally get very good responses now. Last night I was out with my friend in a bar, and there was a group of 7 nearby. My friend suggested I go and take their picture for them using their camera, so I went over and yelled at them "Do you guys want me to take your picture?!?!?" One guy was like "Nah..." but then everyone saw how much fun I was having in asking them and so they changed their mind and were like "yeah, take the picture!" Then I asked if the guy on the far right mattered, and they all laughed. I took the picture and I talked to all of them a bit in a super loud voice... I said how it's hard to talk to 7 people at once and I've never done that before. I think that amused them. We talked for 20 seconds about why they were there (for graduation) and that I'm moving to the area soon. I called my friend over but she didn't want to. The group of 7 invited me to sit with them, but I had to leave with my friend to go home and sleep. This friend is my future roommate by the way and also the girl I'm hooking up with. She's really cute. I'm totally honest with her too and she has no delusions about my intentions of picking up other girls.

It is so much fun when I go out because I can go up to most people and get good responses a lot of the time. When I get indifferent responses, I just leave. Nobody is threatening or wants to attack me. Those black people I mentioned before were really shady, but they were an exception. Nobody gets mad at me. I'm not sketchy or awkward when I talk to people. I don't lurk in the shadows and jump out at women. Like I said before, when I don't get good reactions I just leave.

Furthermore this is all great exercise. I've been maintaining my ideal weight which is really good. I am thoroughly desensitized to what people think of me and this gives me freedom to act through my own intentions. Also this no longer stresses me out.

Those of you who think I should passively wait for a woman are just totally wrong about that kind of thinking on many levels. Like anything else in life, if you want it you have to go straight for it. Women are no exception. You can't wait for life to give you good things. Rather, you have to go out and get them.

That's enough typing for now, although it was just a stream of thought, and now I have to get back to work. I'm glad my date for tonight cancelled on me, well she is unresponsive actually, because now I have more time to get other girls. I think getting numbers is at least as fun as getting dates.


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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:25 am 
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Also if I have Asperger's (like LadyKate diagnosed over the Internet although nobody in my life has every said that)... I'm fine with this story:

"Poor boy with Asperger's learns that most people accept him and enjoy being around him, and girls want to go on dates with him and possibly fantasize about him. He appears cooler than many other guys who get friend-zoned by their female friends. He lives happily ever after."

Yes I realize I'm not really successful with girls yet, but it's an obvious trend in that direction. At least I'm at the stage where I'm getting multiple dates per week.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:41 am 
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Yesterday there was a fight at Harvard Square. It was over $10 and involved a drug sale. Two guys punched eachother in the face a lot and wrestled around on the sidewalk for a bit. There were about 20 spectators, and it was right in front of the Peruvian flute band. One of the members used his instrument to poke at them and stop the fight, but it was in vain. It was all exciting to watch. A woman yelled to call the police, but I don't think they ever came. Afterwards one of the guys recruited his big friend and roamed around the area, hunting down the other assailant to attack him again. I doubt they found him.

I'm at the point where I get no anxiety and can just roam around talking to girls. I get good sleep at night again because I don't feel threatened. Most of the interactions go pretty well. I leave people alone the moment I see it going sour. My biggest sticking point is that I have to concentrate 100% on the conversation and not let my mind wander. If I don't pay close attention, it never ends well. Unfortunately, talking to people isn't as exciting anymore. It's getting a little tedious. However it's funny when the drug dealers cheer me on when I talk to girls. Also it's glorious when I walk across a packed subway train to talk to a girl, and have lots of spectators. One time a woman cheered me on and was like "You guys would be so cute together!!" A lot of girls like it when they're approached because it's very rare around here, and it makes them feel good about themselves. They hand out numbers easily after courageous approaches.


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 Post subject: Re: Talking to strangers
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 10:17 am 
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This pickup happened yesterday and is pretty typical for how it goes. Any critiques?

Me: Hey, I just saw you from over there and wanted to meet you.
Girl: Hey
Me: Sorry I don't know what to say... I didn't really plan this. [pause] Um, I like your bracelets. [pause] I like your shoes too...
[girl is giggling by now]
Me: How did you attach that thing to your phone? That's cool.
Girl: Oh, there's a loop right here
Me: Oh, cool. So what's your name?
Girl: Serena
Me: I'm Alex. Nice to meet you.
[pause while I figure out what to say. Girl is smiling]
Me: Take off your sunglasses so I can see your eyes...
[Girl smiles a lot and removes sunglasses]
Me: Cute.
[I remove mine. Girl giggles]
Me: So where are you from?
Girl: [somewhere in Boston area]. Where are you from?
Me: Acton, but I'm moving to Somerville soon.
Girl: Oh, cool.
Me: What are you doing here? I'm waiting for a friend who's coming around 8, and just killing time until then.
Girl: Yeah I'm waiting for a friend too.
["awkward" pause. conversation starts to die but I don't make a big deal of it... I don't try to seem like a pro at this stuff]
Me: Anyways... would you like to stay in touch?
Girl [smiling a lot]: Sure!
Me: What's your name again? Sorry, I forgot.
Girl: It's Serena.
Me: Ok cool what's your number?
[Girl gives me number]
Me: Cool... see you later!
[I walk off]


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 10:02 am 
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Yesterday an old Christian missionary told me he'd break my face if I went near his girls (other missionaries) again. I replied that it's illegal. I had been interrupting their soliciting of strangers by demonstrating how to slay Christians with my umbrella.

I was also hit in the face hard with an umbrella by a homeless girl, who didn't like it when I went "doodoodoodoodoodoo".

I also got a number on the train but have no idea if it'll go anywhere.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 9:25 am 
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I feel like I've learned a lot from my attempts to pick up girls. For the longest time, I was all focused on myself and what do I get out of this. I thought it was fine to stare at people, even if it made them uncomfortable. There are probably other examples but I can't think of them right now. Alright, this is tedious to write, so I'll just make it a stream of thought from my mind.

Over the last month, I've felt more and more like a shell of a person. People would come in and out of my life for various reasons, often from my poor social skills, and would make me feel empty inside. It was all becoming increasingly boring and less fun. I was focused on external validation, but it felt like I could never be validated enough. I would brag about my successes to others and they would hardly care. I would use other people to talk about my feelings, and eventually they stopped talking to me. No matter how many phone numbers I got or how many girls I kissed (I lack the social skills to sleep around much), it never felt good enough. Each success meant less and less to me. I started to feel very lonely because people weren't emotionally satisfying me. It was all about what I could get from them, a position of neediness.

I am now realizing that I need a dramatic shift in my thinking. I should focus more on giving value to others in my interactions with them. Or at least try to. I want others to feel better about themselves after I interact with them. If I do this all solely for myself, I will just feel like a selfish person who is closed off to others. It is not a place I want to be.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 9:49 am 
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Lex, there are 2 things necessary for happiness (in the context of your post).

Be yourself

Don't have unreasonable expectations of others.

Both of these take require you to know yourself. I suggest taking time to sit under a tree and think about who you are and who you want to be... and the challenges you face in accomplishing that ... before you think about relationships. That could take years, I know it did for me. Many folks never get it.

Accept the challenges as part of a growing process. Embrace the journey. Everybody wants to be loved... to find someone, but don't rush things, let them happen in their own time.

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