The Glade 4.0

Describe real life situations and your solutions here. List resources at your disposal:

I am in the basement. It is a good temperature, about 20 deg F cooler than the rest of the house. Between me and upstairs, where my comfy but warm roo
is, is my roommate hooking up with some girl on the couch. I have between two and three (of three) counts of wifi and only 1-2 bars of 5 of 3G.

I have no work tomorrow but an optometrist appointment at 930. There might be a second girl upstairs but I heavily doubt it since she would not just sit there watching without trying to get her friend to leave.

I am tired and behind on my sleep but I am off until Monday. I have to go to three parties this Sat.

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"It's real, grew up in trife life, the times of white lines
The hype vice, murderous nighttimes and knife fights invite crimes" - Nasir Jones

Well, since your resources include (I am assuming) a penis, why don't you just head up and lumberjack the gal with your roommate?

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Winner!

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"It is true that democracy undermines freedom when voters believe they can live off of others' productivity, when they modify the commandment: 'Thou shalt not steal, except by majority vote.' The politics of plunder is no doubt destructive of both morality and the division of labor."

Yeah, but now I have to go look up "lumberjack." I'm a little afraid to.

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This cold and dark tormented hell
Is all I`ll ever know
So when you get to heaven
May the devil be the judge

Anticipation Aethien, imagine what you think it means in all its glorious carnal inappropriateness - then look it up.

You'll be disappointed.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Actually, I tried, but the best I came up with is a gay members-only camp/resort in Georgia. May have better luck at home, with a bit more time, but I'll just be happy with my carnal imagination for now.

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This cold and dark tormented hell
Is all I`ll ever know
So when you get to heaven
May the devil be the judge

Common usage up here is someone who cock-blocks, keeps people from getting some "wood".

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

I hadn't heard that usage. I've heard Urban Dictionary's definition #2.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

Pfft. Eiffel tower! Who doesn't love gay 'ol Paris?

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"I've got twenty ways to tell you shut the f*ck up / nineteen of them are twenty-four bars long / the other one goes: SHUT THE F*CK UP" - Aesop Rock
"There is no God higher than truth." -- Gandhi
Formerly: Tulamian

Hmm, I thought it would have been rather obvious what I meant by lumberjack. You know that big saw that it takes two lumberjacks to use? Go from there.

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OK, I can run with that!

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This cold and dark tormented hell
Is all I`ll ever know
So when you get to heaven
May the devil be the judge

Heh, I saw what u did thar.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Ok, so I was trapped and had a nonsense idea for a thread. Same thing tonight. Please, RoK beat Greece tomorrow and US beat England.

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"It's real, grew up in trife life, the times of white lines
The hype vice, murderous nighttimes and knife fights invite crimes" - Nasir Jones