The Glade 4.0

1. You can't sneeze with your eyes open.
2. No matter how fresh they look at the store, strawberries will always grow fuzzies if you forget to put them in the fridge the night before.
3. If you forget to put the garbage out the night before, that is the one time the garbage men will be on time and make you run out in your pajamas.
4. When you work midnights, no matter how many years you have been on this schedule, no one will ever remember and they will always ask you.. "why are you asleep in the middle of the day?".
5. If I want to cook something, I never have all the ingredients and have to go to the store.
6. If you choose the line in the grocery store behind the woman with only 5 items vs the woman with half a cart load..she will question a price and initiate a price check, ensuring you are still in line well after the other line has cashed out several people.

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

1 is bullcrap. I can do it most times when I'm driving.

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The Dude abides.

While drinking coffee and reading a magazine?

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“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” - Thomas Paine

7. Dogs like trucks

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You do Number One when you're driving? Dude, I guess the heat in Arizona dries the pants quickly, but the smell man, the smell, how does your wife or anyone else put up with you.

Oh, you mean the sneezing with your eyes open? Sorry, misread your comment at first. I can't, don't particularly want my eyes open with snot flying all around to tell you the truth.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Micheal, you lack fortitude.

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The Dude abides.