The Glade 4.0

1) To the cute little thing making gate announcements: You are cute, I know it, we know it, you know it – Your Minnie Mouse voice might work for you at an ice cream social but when you are making gate announcements – SPEAK UP! We cannot hear you.

2) Do not bring your stinking seafood dinner on the plane. The air is circulated, m’kay. Your stinking seafood will soon be circulated with the smell of puke. That is not good.

3) No crowding!! It will not make the person in front of me move any faster. No matter how many times you jab me in the back with your bag, if I am stopped it is because the person in front of me has stopped.

4) Teenagers. The airport is not the mall. I expect your antics there. If I am at Houston's George Bush Intercontinental Airport and I have 30 minutes to get from gate A77 to E21, get the **** out of the way. Btw...there are 100 other people right behind me trying to make the same connection. Get out of their way too.

On a lighter note, West Virginia is beautiful but it's good to be home.

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“The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” - Pearl S. Buck

#4 cracked me up.
Glad you made it home safely.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

I hear you on #4. I'm only 32, but I'm beyond the years of thinking its funny. I call em out on it now, and forcefully. Heck, yesterday I even called out some kid in front of his mother because he was blasting his ringtones in the fast food joint.

Freakin kids...

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The Dude abides.

Welcomes to the porch Screeling, you got here a little early, but your rocker and walking stick are right over there...

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

Can we whittle sharp pointy things?

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Sure, always need more tools in the eternal fight against vampires. They usually pass airport security too, since they aren't metal.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Time for me to go buy a pipe and some suspenders!

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I'll grab a nice big bowl and a big ol buncha peas that need shellin' and beans that need snappin.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

LOL Teekeela! You've described almost every one of my airport/flight experiences for the past several years!

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"Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use one!"~ Matthew Quigley

"nothing like a little meow in bed at night" ~ Bruskey

"I gotta float my stick same as you" Hondo Lane

"Fill your hand you son of a *****!"

Here's one for the airlines themselves:

You do realize that if you loaded the back of the plane first, you'd do it twice as fast as you wouldn't stick all the people **** with their overhead baggage in the way of the new wave of people you let board, right?

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

I've always wondered that, Kaffis.
It makes much more sense to load from the rear to the front, and if I were sitting in First Class I would much rather wait and be seated last than to have dozens of people shove past me with huge carry-on bags.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Well, yeah, but that would cut into the 1st-class passengers' drinking time. Crap, they can slam two or three drinks by the time we plebes have squeezed into the cattle-car in the back.

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This cold and dark tormented hell
Is all I`ll ever know
So when you get to heaven
May the devil be the judge

With the exception of first class and people who specifically need some assistance that is how most all airlines board these days.

*shrug* Wasn't last time I flied -- September.

And if they've wised up since then.. took them long enough.

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

Here in Canada, every airline / regional carrier I've flown with has loaded from the aft to the fore. Executive / first class passengers are able to board whenever they choose on Air Canada flights. I'm surprised to here some of you aren't getting the same service.

Actually I will say, that by far the best service I've ever received has been by Air Canada. They are an excellent airline, despite their financial troubles.

Kind of defeats the purpose, no?

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

Not really. The amount of Executive seats vs regular is so small that it doesn't really affect the majority of the passengers, although I do get what you're saying.

In the last 10-11 years of air traveling, I've only been on two flights where they loaded from the back...and those two flights were from Kalispell, Montana to Seattle, Washington. Every other flight has been from the front, which is annoying as all get out!

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"Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use one!"~ Matthew Quigley

"nothing like a little meow in bed at night" ~ Bruskey

"I gotta float my stick same as you" Hondo Lane

"Fill your hand you son of a *****!"

Once, on a flight from Chicago to Houston, there were so many "elite access" people with priority boarding that over half of the plane was filled before they started boarding by row number.

On my flight to LA, the first class seats were in front of the door, so nobody had to walk through first class to get to their seat.

And regarding teenagers and blocking traffic, nothing beats anime conventions. Today I saw a cosplayer posing on one side of the hall, and a photographer on the other side of the rather wide hallway, and they expected everyone else to stop so their picture wouldn't get messed up. Or a group of about 7 teenagers standing around in the same hall, chatting and blocking 3/4 of the hallway.

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