The Glade 4.0

I think I have a fundamental fear of failure, so I take no risks whatsoever. I think that's why I have trouble applying back to grad school. I fear I won't be accepted and even if I am, I won't succeed when there. I think it's the reason I have trouble finding a romantic relationship. I don't know what it'll lead to, so I make up excuses to get away when I get close to one and chase women I can't have instead. I think it's why I'm on cruise control doing a job I dislike. Because it's easy and below on my level.

When I lost 60 pounds, it was one of my proudest achievements and made me a more confident person. I decided to give back by being a greater part of other's weight loss journeys. But I don't feel happy with just this achieved. I want more; I need more. I don't know how to snap out of it. But I want to realize my own passion and greatness.

Does anyone else feel the same way? How did (are) you dealing with it?

Yes, I've felt that way many times. You just have to remember there is no firing squad, no electric chair, no poison pill being forced down your throat when you fail.

Can you laugh at yourself in front of other people. That is the first best step. Accept that you are human, not perfect, and that you will make mistakes.

It isn't the failure that defines a man, it is the manner in which he handles it, and the manner in which he moves on. One quote I enjoy is "Life is what happens between failures."

You aren't alone, there are a lot of people with this problem.

Go out on the dance floor and laugh at your bad moves. You're dancing and spending time with the ladies and they appreciate your willingness to join them. You're much more likely to succeed if you're in the game.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

it isn't the goal, it's the journey

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Ron Paul 2012

I heard this somewhere years ago...

What would your decision be if you weren't afraid?

For whatever reason, that stuck with me and I've followed the implicit advise since then.

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In time, this too shall pass.

I view all my actions as my brain auto-correcting... like getting better at a sport except I apply this to life in general. So all mistakes are just on the path of learning.

For those not familiar, Judo is a Japanese martial art that has a large amount of techniques which involve throwing your opponent to the ground.

We all fear failure. It's what drives us.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

Agreed. But that's precisely my problem. It's not driving me. It's causing me to curl in a little ball and take the safest route possible. And I know I'm better than that.

I recommend you choose something fun to get good at, preferably something that's also useful...or at least interesting to other people in some way....and then focus on it. Give it your 100%

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Ron Paul 2012

I agree. That's an excellent way. I did that once with my weight loss. I guess I could try it again. I think maybe focusing on my applications to grad school may be an excellent way. I have to get over this procrasination, though. I think it's not laziness, but fear ultimately.