The Glade 4.0

LeBron James has just been assassinated by the best hitman in the biz, using the very best in sniping gear: best rifle, best ammunition, best scope - you name it; nothing but the best.

I wish I had actual work to do, so I wouldn't be stuck sitting bored at my desk all day.

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Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

You now have actual work to do. So much so, that you now have to work 80+ hours a week, and no longer get to enjoy Taamar's cooking.

I wish it was 4pm PST today.

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Holy shitsnacks!

It's 4 PM, PST, Today ... but you have absolutely no memory of the past 7 hours and your co-workers are giving you some very strange looks.

I wish I were about 40 lbs lighter.

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Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

Congratulations! Your legs have been amputated.

I wish America's Got Talent was cancelled.

America's Got Talent has been cancelled in order to bring you Ice-Fishing with the Stars.

I wish I could finish copying all this data manually before carpal tunnel sets in.

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You finish your manual copying..but since u were so efficient you get 10x the projects and you need surgery because your hand seizes up.

I wish I could sleep for 12 hours.

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

You sleep for 12 hours, on your way to an epic 72 hour sleepathon.

I wish plane travel was free

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Holy shitsnacks!

LeBron James receives the best food, clothing, housing, girlfriends, wives, sponsorships, wins 10 consecutive NBA championships, and throughout it all, he thanks his fan Hopwin who told him to get out of Ohio and take the money and play with the best.

Shards of tiger fur are all that is ever found of Hopwin.

I wish people would stop necro-posting this thread.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

I guess you mean you wish I would quit necro posting this thread then, since I was the one that brought it back...Sorry you don't like it :p

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

It was fun for awhile. I'd leave it a good memory rather than drive it into zombie-hood.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Looks to me like people were enjoying it again. I dont understand the necropost hate on this thread...it was pure fun, no debate or drama from some earlier epoch to confuse people. If you weren't having fun in this thread anymore, then why post in it, Micheal?

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Women are from Hoboken, men are from Trenton. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

Travelling by plane in now free, but on your next trip to the airport, you find out you're on the "no-fly list".

I wish the damn Bermuda grass would stop spreading.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

The Bermuda grass has been taken over by indica saliva plants which the cops summarily arrest you for.

I wish I had 32.9 billion dollars.

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"It's real, grew up in trife life, the times of white lines
The hype vice, murderous nighttimes and knife fights invite crimes" - Nasir Jones

Congrats! Raf is a billionaire and on the cover of Forbes magazine with Oprah and the Queen..you have tons of relatives that come out of the woodwork looking for a part of your fortune, you get so disgusted you give all your money to homeless people in Harvard Square to help Lex be safer while picking up girls.

I wish I had a job on days so I could be on the same schedule as the majority of the world.

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

Congrats, you've just been hired by a sanitation company...to pump out portapotties 8 hours a day for minimum wage! Your hands become permanently stained blue, and you always smell funky until the day you die.

I wish I didn't have to work overtime ever again.

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Women are from Hoboken, men are from Trenton. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

You graduate from nursing school and make the big bucks now, you don't need to work the OT to make ends meet, but you spend your 12 hour shifts elevating scrotums to decrease edema and boosting patients up in bed because everyone wants the male nurse and his extra male strength

I wish I had worn my comfy underware tonight because I'm working too hard and it's riding up :p

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

You had the presence of mind to wear your favorite, most comfortable underwear tonight. However, your 700 pound patient douses you with a poo baptism from head to foot. Since your patient was an infectious disease doc's wetdream of pathogens, you are immediately rushed to decontamination and your uniform and underwear are immediately incinerated.

I wish I had myself a beautiful yacht.

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Women are from Hoboken, men are from Trenton. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

You get your beautiful yacht, but when you bought it the auctioner forgot to mention that it was seized from a columbian drug lord in a drug raid, and now he is knocking on your door to get it back.

I want a massage from a hot male stripper

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"None is more important, none more legitimate, than that of rendering the people safe as they are the
ultimate guardians of their own liberty."- Thomas Jefferson

"Yeah, I'm rehearsing my poker face. I don't handle stupid well. *sigh*" - Farsky

A hot male stripper arrives to give you a massage. But his name is Callous "Teeny Weenie" Sandpaperhands.

I wish I could get over this cold.

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Les Zombis et les Loups-Garous!