The Glade 4.0

I've tried to box this up and store it away, but the lid keeps coming open. . I keep trying to push it off as other things bothering me, but it's really this. Feel like the roller coaster is returning to my emotions. Selling my house brought up tons of crap, that I didn't expect. Going through everything in my house, stirring up memories. I boxed up a few things, and threw away alot of the things that hurt too much. I kept my wedding album, dunno why.. My wedding dress went to the salvation army, maybe it won't be bad luck for someone else. I made it past these things.

Then a few days ago, I saw my ex husbands girlfriend on my way in to work. She is very pregnant .. .

I've tried to not let this bother me, but It keeps surfacing. One minute I can forget another I'm crying. Why? Why? I tell people I'm fine, i'm just tired, or I try to deflect and blame it on something else. But, I have to deal with seeing her and I don't know how to box it up permanently so it will leave me alone.

_________________


Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

/hugs lady.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I really wish I could help more.

_________________

Holy shitsnacks!

Kirra, *bighugs* I wish you lived closer so we could have a girls nite with ice cream and sappy 80's movies and ***** about men and gossip about girls we hate and tell secrets about hotties! *huggles*
Getting past those milestones is all part of the process and its gonna hurt, I'm sorry. But you let go of a few things and wisely kept a few things....run-ins with the ex or his gf are gonna be a gut puncher, ESPECIALLY with the pregnancy thing. It's just a hurtful reminder of what we feel like could have/should have been....its tough, but you will come out stronger on the other side, I promise. I've been there....but I've also been on this side of it for a few years now, and I'm past the initial shock and grief enough to realize that as happy as it seems on the outside, that man did NOT CHANGE, and the other woman will have to put up with his crap sooner or later and will go through all of it too..."honeymoon" phases in relationships don't last forever, but it totally blows when you are reminiscing about yours and having theirs thrown in your face at the same time.
IT GETS BETTER!
Plus, you are a total hottie and a great catch and fun to be with and a well-rounded awesome person with a great personality.
You are the total package, Kirra! Just wait....a few months down the road once this is all behind you and you've healed and start moving on....woo hoo!! I can't wait to hear THOSE stories!!! *huggzies!*

_________________
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

.
.
.
I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
.
.
.

_________________
In time, this too shall pass.

The theory I've been going on is that the solution just isn't to box up the emotions. If you keep trying to stuff the lid on, you never give those emotions the chance to grow stale and stop exploding messily when the pressure builds up.

It's like a bottle of pop. Only by leaving the cap off can it go flat so it won't explode when it gets shaken a bit.

Of course, disclaimer time -- this is a working theory, and I have no idea how effective it'll be over the long haul.

_________________
"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

It's been my experience that people have this certain balance in their lives... some balance on the edges, some in the middle, it's a different place for everyone, but everyone has a place.

That's why some folks seem to seek drama, some are always unhappy, and some seem to just be happy a lot of the time.

Stuff throws us off balance, but that's OK, we get stronger that way. The important part is to know that things hurt 'cause you have feelings, and without feelings you wouldn't ever be happy. Two sides of the same coin, and one of the most valuable coins we possess.

_________________
In time, this too shall pass.

I'd rather have a dollar bill.

_________________
"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Painful set-up stuff



The house is gone, the main reason to stay in Whoville is done with. Use this as momentum to find a better job in a better place. You are a skilled medical professional, the world is your oyster. Go make a better life for yourself. Emerge from your painful chrysalis and transform, emerge into the fantastic future awaiting you.

Alternately, spend your off hours at the gym and the gun range working through your rage. Become a great kick-boxer and target shooter. Make sure that information gets back to him.

_________________
The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

I agree completely. The worst thing you can do to your enemies is to achieve success.

_________________
In time, this too shall pass.

Oh, his poor girlfriend... you can get away clean, but she's stuck dealing with his worthless *** FOREVER.

I'm sorry that you're going through this Kirra. It's OK to feel this way though. It is going to happen and, no matter how shitty it is, it's normal. We have little landmines in our emotional backpack and every now and then we stumble on one. We hit them less often as time progresses but not all of them go away. Marriage is, in most cases, a sizable investment of emotions and time (and I think time is the most precious gift we can give someone, you can't take it back) and when that investment doesn't pan out, it comes with pain and disappointment, shattered dreams, and unmet expectations. To then feel that you're on an occasional emotional roller coaster ride because those things resurface doesn't mean something is wrong with you, it means you're human.

*hugs*

_________________
~Tolyn~

"A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out."

Thank you, guys, I always feel better after hitting a low point and reading your comments.

You all really are an awsome group of people.



One day at a time and I shall get past this!

_________________


Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

My sympathies. Seeing someone you loved in a position like this, no matter how angry you may be at them or how much better you are off without them, is still painful. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. And the t-shirt sucks.

_________________


It feels like all the people who want limited government really just want government limited to Republicans.
---The Daily Show

You forgot we are also adorabalicious.

_________________
"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

I am on the same page as Taamar.

Everyone has some good qualities in them. I'm sure he did, else you wouldn't have married him in the first place. And likely it's those things you're missing right now and is what is hurting the most. You need to remember all of the bad crap too to keep things in perspective.

I don't know the circumstances of the divorce, but he's not married to you anymore so that obviously tells me he's a total idiot and dumbass just by default. And I know that sometimes it might feel like you'd rather put up with the crap than be alone, but trust me that it's really not worth it. If I learned anything from my very, very, very long period of dating and bad string of luck during dating (and I am sure many here remember me ranting constantly about it); it's that when one door closes another one *always* opens up.

You will find a great guy, and you will look back at situations like this and think "Oh God, I am so glad I am not married to that jerkwad anymore! I can't believe I actually missed him sometimes!" I can promise you this.

And it's also very important to always remember that you *DESERVE* better too.

_________________
Les Zombis et les Loups-Garous!

<------Isn't that far away. If you need anything burned, broken or beaten.

_________________
Raell Kromwell

Raell, don't worry about it too much. He's a scheming irresponsible adolescent in a man's body - with a baby on the way with a girl that trapped and stole someone else's husband. Life will be harsh with him quite efficiently without messing up Kirra's karma.

Kirra, Taamar is wise.

_________________
The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Yeah I'm with Taamar, it may not feel like it but you should be relieved you escaped in time.

_________________
“Strong people are harder to kill than weak people, and more useful in general”. - Mark Rippetoe

I disagree. Karma might catch up to him eventually. He still has an asskickin' due the first time he physically hurt our Kirra. I wouldn't mind seeing him get popped in the jaw by another grown man. "How does that feel, *******!?!"

_________________
“The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” - Pearl S. Buck

Teek, I don't disagree with you that he has karma coming. I just agree with Kirra that she needs to put it behind her and move on and let his own karma catch up to him.

With any luck she will be near the ER when he's brought in on a gurney, the trashy tramp he is with now nowhere in sight - as she went out with the winner.

_________________
The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

You're right, Micheal.

**hugs Kirra**

_________________
“The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” - Pearl S. Buck

He physically hurt her?

...

_________________


It feels like all the people who want limited government really just want government limited to Republicans.
---The Daily Show

Broke a limb while violating a restraining order, IIRC.

_________________
"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

There's pretty much one thing I hate more than spiders.

_________________


It feels like all the people who want limited government really just want government limited to Republicans.
---The Daily Show

Really, the best revenge is to leave Michigan, get a job somewhere else, have an active sex life, and never think of the guy again. Revenge is a dish best served cold. In this case, hit him up for alimony twenty or so years from now when you want to send your children (who have not yet been conceived, let alone born) to college. When he doesn't pay, have your new husband (who you haven't met, yet) take him to court over it.

When you stop caring about him entirely, and I mean not even enough to hate him, you can hurt him in ways that you just aren't ready to dream up right now.

_________________
Buckle your pants or they might fall down.