The Glade 4.0

Cannibal!

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In time, this too shall pass.

She is going so mental now! It'll be so funny if we go out and she doesn't even like me.

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Suineko:

That would be funny, but I don't have multiple personality disorder.

Take pictures to confirm existence of this female.

A few days ago, while I was waiting for the restroom, I noticed a girl talking to an uncool guy who she clearly just met. They were both seated at different tables.

I just had to intervene and save her. I interrupted them and chatted her up for a few minutes, but she wouldn't give her number. Had some crap excuse about me being 4 years older.

Then a day later I get this Facebook message (I don't know how these girls keep stalking me when they don't have my full name??).



So now I have a date with her for Wednesday .

When are you ordering your pimp cane?

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"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I've been sucking at first dates, so I'm not anywhere near a pimp yet.

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Holy shitsnacks!

First one is the hardest. That's why being a guy is expensive as ****.

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"It's real, grew up in trife life, the times of white lines
The hype vice, murderous nighttimes and knife fights invite crimes" - Nasir Jones

First dates are so difficult for me. I'd probably have to go on about 50 more of them to get any decent consistency. By this I mean the girl wanting to see me again in a dating frame.

At least girls give me the time of day now. So I am making progress.

Stop showing them your stamp collection!

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"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

And by stamp collection, he means penis.

Not everyone's a Phaletelist.

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Holy shitsnacks!

or Philatelist, even.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

No no, Phaletelist

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Holy shitsnacks!

Hmmmm. I think I'm gonna need illustrations.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Yes, I got your attempt at satiric misspelling, and added that while collecting stamps may be more common than [whatever your implying], not everyone does that either.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

Hahahahaha! Vin, that's hilarious!

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

I need to take a break from this. Talking to unfamiliar girls is very stressful because I'm acting myself versus being nice. I could talk to 50 strangers and "be nice", like some guy who passes out flyers, but it's different to try to pick them up. It feels really invasive and I can only handle so much, in addition to the pressures at my job. I've been close to getting anxiety attacks again.

So my date tonight went well! Woot.

I am realizing more and more that I can act myself and get great results. Furthermore, it's most enjoyable for me to just be myself, although it still causes some anxiety. When I mean act myself, I mean that I talk to strangers in the same casual way that I'd talk to my roommate. No unnecessary enthusiasm, no change of vocab, no conscious change of vocal tonality, same body language, etc. Just whatever is most comfortable for me, where I don't feel like I'm working.

I can picture myself a year from now... casually walking around town, chatting up every girl in my normal manner and getting loads of numbers. It could easily become a reality. I'm going to continue working towards there.

Is this the shirt you wear when you do that? And exactly what kind of flyers are we talking about? Food ones or pet ones?

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

I am massively bored at work, and thus will embark on this post. I am currently listening to Avril Lavigne's song on Youtube about Alice in Wonderland. It is saved to my favorites. I think I need some new music.

Approaching girls gives me huge amounts of anxiety. Borderline panic attacks. When I act the way I want to act, i.e. talking normally like I would to a friend and allowing gaps in conversation, it makes me really nervous. I hope that I will eventually get over this. This involves showing true interest in a girl instead of useless talk. Sometimes when I talk to a girl, I act in a way that automatically friend-zones myself and this does not live up to my expectations of good behavior... behavior of male dominance.

I have begun going to Harvard Square again in spite of the homeless. I've bribed some of them so they will not bother me anymore. It is like they are the natives and I am invading their land, so bribes are necessary. Sometimes I buy them drinks and such. They like me now, or appear to. I hope I won't keep buying them stuff or handing money out. They think I am really generous instead of just creepy. However it's still annoying when they walk up to me while I'm talking to a girl. It ruins my chances every time.

In spite of my deep social anxiety, I managed to meet a law student who I will see on Wednesday in all likelihood. It is pretty cool because I was nervous talking to her in the park. She said more words than I did, even though I had approached her. She was reviewing something for an interview when I asked her what she was reading. And so forth. I really want to fix my anxiety issues and hopefully continued exposure to awkward situations will do so. My normal style of talking leads to lots of awkwardness, but since this is me, I don't want to change my way of talking. On many websites it says that the guy should do 90% of the talking and the girl 10% in the first minutes, but I can't deal with this. I like 50%, 50%. Girls don't expect to talk 50% to a stranger and this leads to awkwardness.

I am managing to keep up at work in spite of my social stresses and general apathy. I happen to be very good at my job, although I do actual work hardly ever. Still I think they view me well.

Alright I think this post was super lame but don't have anything to add right now.

Why would you want to get over the excitement of meeting someone for the first time? That rush is part of the whole wonderful thing! The first glance... the first word... the first kiss...

Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Just throw out the attack. You can do that by fully accepting the feeling of being in the moment when you meet someone. Don't run from it or hide from it, let it happen in all it's uncomfortable and magnificent glory.

Your problem is you want control...over yourself, the girl, the situation. That's never going to be more than an illusion.

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In time, this too shall pass.

Last night I met a girl on the street when I was walking home... it was glorious. I think we had a really solid connection. Date for Friday! She has short hair which I don't like, but is otherwise very cute and makes up for it. Really sweet and energetic personality too. I was feeling something in my pants as we talked. She stood up and hugged me at the end.

From her... I love good feedback!

Last night I met my neighbor across the street, and had a few beers with him and some black guys at his front steps. I went home around 11. An hour later I walked back only to find police cars, blood spatter all over the place, and his shirt soaked red on the ground.

What did you do! OMG!

You blacked out and killed them all? Holy crap!

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Holy shitsnacks!

Nope. But unfortunately I missed out on a vicious melee.