The Glade 4.0

I seem to have made a habit of casually observing what should be painfully obvious in ways that baffle and entertain those around me (primarily Taamar).
Since my latest moment occurred just today, I thought I'd share a few of them so that you all might be entertained as well.

While riding shotgun as Taamar drove about town with a Depeche Mode CD in the stereo, I commented that "there's a lot of Depeche Mode on this disc" (I thought it was a mix disc...).
While listening to a mix disc in Taamar's car, I heard David Gilmour's Take a Breath and announced "this kinda sounds like Pink Floyd".
While watching the "I am the Walrus" scene in Across the Universe, I noted that the actor playing Dr Robert "seems to be channeling Bono".
While discussing cheese with Taamar, I once said "I really don't like the taste of Swiss. Why don't you pick up a Gruyere or something?".
And just today, while watching an episode of Chuck, I said "Shaw really looks a lot like Superman, doesn't he?".

It's like there's a part of my brain that's really observant and even somewhat intelligent but refuses to fully share with the other parts.

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Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

I thought I was the only one who used the term "Captain Oblivious"

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Ron Paul 2012

Might want to check for low air pressure.

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Raell Kromwell

Thanks for the morning lols Shel

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That reminds me ...
I once witnessed a "new guy razzing" that involved the newbie kicking the tires on one of these:

I swear, though, it wasn't me. I've never been quite that oblivious

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Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

I spend a lot of time looking at him and wondering 'Are you ****ing with me?'. It's a game between us, and I keep thinking he's winning, but it generally turns out that he really doesn't have a clue.

How about taking exhaust samples from it with a trash bag?
testing for weak spots in the armor with a hammer?
send anyone for a roll of firing line?
A box of grid squares?
A chemlight recharger?
Headlight fluid?

Did you ever see anyone get sent for/to do any of those?

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

None of those, no. But after kicking the tires, that same newbie was sent to the rear of the tank to check the brake lights and while he was there, my sergeant instructed* me to fire up the smoke generator. Said newbie returned from his task looking like he'd just been through the gas chamber.

*(for non-military types - only officers can issue orders, so sergeants instruct rather than order the enlisted saps. In reality, the only difference is that you cannot be charged with disobeying a direct order when you say "no" to a sergeant. They call it something else and the penalties are slightly less severe.)

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Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

I once sent a private to the motor pool office to get a ground guide. He looked at me funny and I asked him if he remembered what the plt sgt said. You have to have a ground guide to park the vehicles. He said oh yea and ran off with a quickness.

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Raell Kromwell

Translate, please.

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Ground guide is a person on the ground who signals the driver with the appropriate course corrections needed to park a large vehicle neatly in the desired location. One is required for nose-in parking jobs; two (one each, front and back) are required for any parking job that involves backing up.

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Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

So Raell sent a private to get a guy to help park a car, and the private didn't understand why he needed to get a guy to help park the car, so Rael had to explain to him why?

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I read it more like Raell sent the guy to the office for the equivalent of "prop wash" or "grid squares".

The term is perfectly valid, but if you've forgotten your training and can't remember what it means, it sounds reasonable to go seeking such a thing at the motor pool office, supply room, etc.

I don't imagine the private went asking for "someone to ground guide while I park this vehicle", because if he knew what that was he would have pointed out that Raell could easily perform that function. I suspect he went to the office and literally asked for a ground guide, expecting to be handed some inanimate object the usage of which he fervently hoped and prayed he'd be able to figure out before he got back to the vehicle so he wouldn't look like an idiot.

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Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

Ohh, ok. I understand. I think.

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Like the Bacon Stretcher we sent the blonde hostess for in the restaurant.

Ooh, ooh! Tell the story about the boss' daughter trying to separate the soda so she could put it back in the fountain!

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Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

Oh that was great.

OK, picture a 17 year old girl with pale blonde hair who looks exactly as bright as she... isn't. We had a party of 80 kids coming in, so we poured Sprites for all and had the tables set up and everything. Of course, she hadn't read the reservation and we were a week early. So everything comes down and someone has the bright idea to tell Sarah that she needs to put the Sprite back in the fountain. She takes a tray of cups over and starts looking at the fountain, confused. One of the other servers lets her know that she has to separate the syrup from the soda first. Still flummoxed she goes to her father, the manager, to ask how to separate soda from syrup and how to get it back into the machine. He says, "Use this" with an utterly straight face and hands her a bar strainer.

what about sending the newbie to find the PRC-E8? erm... that may be the PRKY-7 I dunno.

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Darksiege
Traveller, Calé, Whisperer
Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut