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PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 3:00 am 
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Rynar wrote:
It's been said before, but it bears repeating:

"Don't stick your dick in the crazy."


Depends on the crazy.

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 Post subject: Re: Random Wise Advice
PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:01 am 
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"It is true that democracy undermines freedom when voters believe they can live off of others' productivity, when they modify the commandment: 'Thou shalt not steal, except by majority vote.' The politics of plunder is no doubt destructive of both morality and the division of labor."


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 Post subject: Re: Random Wise Advice
PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:12 am 
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This is probably one of the best pieces of advice I've ever come across.

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Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Emerson, Ralph Waldo

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"It is true that democracy undermines freedom when voters believe they can live off of others' productivity, when they modify the commandment: 'Thou shalt not steal, except by majority vote.' The politics of plunder is no doubt destructive of both morality and the division of labor."


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 10:18 am 
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You're going to have to wear your name every day of your whole life, keep it clean and in good repair.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 11:22 am 
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Never stop dating your wife.

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"It is true that democracy undermines freedom when voters believe they can live off of others' productivity, when they modify the commandment: 'Thou shalt not steal, except by majority vote.' The politics of plunder is no doubt destructive of both morality and the division of labor."


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 3:45 pm 
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Remember your wife's name, always.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 8:22 am 
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Go to sleep when you are sleepy, otherwise you wake up and can't sleep.

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 Post subject: Re: Random Wise Advice
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 5:55 pm 
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Ensure the cat is not sitting on the stove AT ALL before operating ANY burner.

Sell your cat and get a dog.

When you are observing people secretly, make sure your observation position is not right on their intended path.

Always use a chimney starter with charcoal, especially in cold weather. Otherwise you end up re-lighting the charcoal which is hazardous, and takes a long time, and gets your wife irritated.

Do not be afraid to have an argument with your SO. A relationship that can't handle an argument isn't a good one.

Do not have arguments with your SO over trivialities

Do not assume that an argument is the first sign of crazy.

Never assume a weapon is unloaded, unless you need to reload.

Don't skimp on a mattress, and make sure your bed is big enough.

Learn how to talk with your partner about sex, without having to dance around things or just hint at what you want to say.

When an argument is about to start - with anyone, not just your SO - take a minute and make sure you're actually talking about the same thing.

Practice your draw.. not just standing, but sitting, kneeling, laying on your sides, back, and stomach, and if you have them, with glasses off.

If you need to take care of business, do it. Jerk that smokewagon and go to work. Otherwise, try to forget it's there. It doesn't make you a bigger, better, or badder man.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:03 pm 
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"Jerk that smokewagon??" :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:21 pm 
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It's a slight paraphrase from Tombstone

Also

Always put away milk and ice cream as soon as you get home in case the phone rings or you get otherwise distracted

Never assume any trip to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles will take less than 3 hours.

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 Post subject: Re: Random Wise Advice
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:38 pm 
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From a surprisingly useful cracked article. This whole article is fantastic, but this last one whacked me in the face. Long, but worth it.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-questions ... your-life/

#1. "How Will I Know When I've Become an Adult?"

This question got asked in the forums a while back. It seems like an odd question, but I'm thinking this is why tribal societies would have an actual ritual you go through, where you run an obstacle course and then slay a wolf for the right to be declared an Adult. Without that clear line, it's kind of hard to tell.

From what I can gather, in our grandfathers' time when you turned 18, you were shoved out of the house and either had to go fight a war, or mine coal until you died of Black Lung, or Mining Dementia, or Coal Shits. Then with the next generation it became normal for people to go to college, so they'd stay in teenage party mode until they graduated at age 22 or so. Now, it seems like most people are stretching that out until they get close to 30.

Most of them don't have **** on me -- I crashed on people's couches into my mid-20s, and refused to get a career until somebody finally agreed to pay me to write boner jokes. I could write the book on delayed maturity. So how do you know that your efforts to shape up and become a grown-up have paid off?

The Method:

First of all, having children of your own does not make you an adult. Any two jackoffs with functional reproductive organs can produce children. And there is no magical line when it comes to age, not even a ballpark.

No, it seems to be a balancing point between when you stop depending on other people, and become the person other people can depend on.

For instance, the most mature guy at my last job was 16-years old. He went to work because his mom was morbidly obese to the point that she couldn't work. She collected disability, which wasn't enough to support her family, so the kid picked up the slack. Each week, he would sign his check over to his mom, who would deposit 100 percent of it in the bank. He never saw a dime, and that was fine with him, because he was helping out his family.

Compare that to the other guys there, many in their 30s, who would spend half of their check on mods for their car stereos, and whatever was left over on their three children. Instead of school clothes for the kids, they'd replace the back seats with giant subwoofers. I'd watch these guys scream at their girlfriends for bringing their lunch late -- the lunches that those guys could have made themselves and brought to work with them. They might have married those girls by now, and now those guys have a new mother. They are 35-year-old kids.

I mentioned my years spent crashing on friends' couches earlier, people taking me in because they knew my only other option was living on the street. Do you think I ever thought about how much work they had to do to provide me with a place to stay? Or how wrong it was that as an able-bodied man, I wasn't the one providing a sofa for somebody else in need? Or that I was always taking instead of giving? No, because that's how an adult thinks. And I wasn't one.

You know you're an adult, not just when you're able to put the needs of others above your own, but when you're able to do it without giving a single thought to what they "owe" you in return. You realize that, at some point you weren't even aware of, you became the tap instead of the bucket. And then you look back and hate your younger self for living under the delusion that somehow a world full of buckets could function.

It sounds obvious to the point of being insulting, and it is ... to an adult. So, as with everything on this list, the answer is that when it happens, you'll know. Give or take a decade or two.


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 Post subject: Re: Random Wise Advice
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 7:03 pm 
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Taamar wrote:
From a surprisingly useful cracked article. This whole article is fantastic, but this last one whacked me in the face. Long, but worth it.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-questions ... your-life/

#1. "How Will I Know When I've Become an Adult?"

This question got asked in the forums a while back. It seems like an odd question, but I'm thinking this is why tribal societies would have an actual ritual you go through, where you run an obstacle course and then slay a wolf for the right to be declared an Adult. Without that clear line, it's kind of hard to tell.

From what I can gather, in our grandfathers' time when you turned 18, you were shoved out of the house and either had to go fight a war, or mine coal until you died of Black Lung, or Mining Dementia, or Coal Shits. Then with the next generation it became normal for people to go to college, so they'd stay in teenage party mode until they graduated at age 22 or so. Now, it seems like most people are stretching that out until they get close to 30.

Most of them don't have **** on me -- I crashed on people's couches into my mid-20s, and refused to get a career until somebody finally agreed to pay me to write boner jokes. I could write the book on delayed maturity. So how do you know that your efforts to shape up and become a grown-up have paid off?

The Method:

First of all, having children of your own does not make you an adult. Any two jackoffs with functional reproductive organs can produce children. And there is no magical line when it comes to age, not even a ballpark.

No, it seems to be a balancing point between when you stop depending on other people, and become the person other people can depend on.

For instance, the most mature guy at my last job was 16-years old. He went to work because his mom was morbidly obese to the point that she couldn't work. She collected disability, which wasn't enough to support her family, so the kid picked up the slack. Each week, he would sign his check over to his mom, who would deposit 100 percent of it in the bank. He never saw a dime, and that was fine with him, because he was helping out his family.

Compare that to the other guys there, many in their 30s, who would spend half of their check on mods for their car stereos, and whatever was left over on their three children. Instead of school clothes for the kids, they'd replace the back seats with giant subwoofers. I'd watch these guys scream at their girlfriends for bringing their lunch late -- the lunches that those guys could have made themselves and brought to work with them. They might have married those girls by now, and now those guys have a new mother. They are 35-year-old kids.

I mentioned my years spent crashing on friends' couches earlier, people taking me in because they knew my only other option was living on the street. Do you think I ever thought about how much work they had to do to provide me with a place to stay? Or how wrong it was that as an able-bodied man, I wasn't the one providing a sofa for somebody else in need? Or that I was always taking instead of giving? No, because that's how an adult thinks. And I wasn't one.

You know you're an adult, not just when you're able to put the needs of others above your own, but when you're able to do it without giving a single thought to what they "owe" you in return. You realize that, at some point you weren't even aware of, you became the tap instead of the bucket. And then you look back and hate your younger self for living under the delusion that somehow a world full of buckets could function.

It sounds obvious to the point of being insulting, and it is ... to an adult. So, as with everything on this list, the answer is that when it happens, you'll know. Give or take a decade or two.


I approve.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 7:37 pm 
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That was awesome, Taamar, thanks for sharing that. I particularly liked this:

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it seems to be a balancing point between when you stop depending on other people, and become the person other people can depend on.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 8:11 pm 
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I find it amusing. A simple replacement of a few words (that wouldn't even change the meaning much!) would make that instantly Hellfire-worthy and spawn a 23 page thread.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 8:27 pm 
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Which is why I stay out of Hellfire.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:46 am 
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Lol DE....next time I'm putting a foley in a drunk guy, I'm gonna use the word "smokewagon" As I am explaining what I will be doing :)

"ok, I'm gonna be putting a large tube into your smokewagon sir"

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 Post subject: Re: Random Wise Advice
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 10:16 pm 
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of course

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Hug, kiss and tell your SO (and children as applicable) you love them every day.

Be dependable and on time.

Feel good about yourself, your relationship and you job. (And if you don't make a change to fix it).

When setting goals, think about the best case scenario, it's a great place to start.

Always be willing to share your table or home, especially at the hoildays. Always offer at least twice, some people are slow to accept kind gestures.



These concepts and quotes are stole from R. A. Heinlein.

When asked about how he could be paid back from helping a friend, "You can’t," he said. "You don’t pay back, you pay forward."

"Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful —just stupid.)"

"You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once."

"Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage."

"Take sides! Always take sides! You will sometimes be wrong — but the man who refuses to take sides must always be wrong."

"The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots."

"A "critic" is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified to judge the work of creative men. There is logic in this; he is unbiased — he hates all creative people equally."

"When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to its subjects, "This you may not read, this you must not see, this you are forbidden to know," the end result is tyranny and oppression, no matter how holy the motives. Mighty little force is needed to control a man whose mind has been hoodwinked; contrariwise, no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything — you can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."



For all the cat haters (which I used to be one, until we got the right cat, 16 years and counting) also from Heinlein:
"How you behave toward cats here below determines your status in Heaven."


And finally (also from Heinlein):

I said that "Patriotism" is a way of saying "Women and children first." And that no one can force a man to feel this way. Instead he must embrace it freely. I want to tell about one such man. He wore no uniform and no one knows his name, or where he came from; all we know is what he did.
In my home town sixty years ago when I was a child, my mother and father used to take me and my brothers and sisters out to Swope Park on Sunday afternoons. It was a wonderful place for kids, with picnic grounds and lakes and a zoo. But a railroad line cut straight through it.
One Sunday afternoon a young married couple were crossing these tracks. She apparently did not watch her step, for she managed to catch her foot in the frog of a switch to a siding and could not pull it free. Her husband stopped to help her.
But try as they might they could not get her foot loose. While they were working at it, a tramp showed up, walking the ties. He joined the husband in trying to pull the young woman's foot loose. No luck —
Out of sight around the curve a train whistled. Perhaps there would have been time to run and flag it down, perhaps not. In any case both men went right ahead trying to pull her free ... and the train hit them.
The wife was killed, the husband was mortally injured and died later, the tramp was killed — and testimony showed that neither man made the slightest effort to save himself.
The husband's behavior was heroic ... but what we expect of a husband toward his wife: his right, and his proud privilege, to die for his woman. But what of this nameless stranger? Up to the very last second he could have jumped clear. He did not. He was still trying to save this woman he had never seen before in his life, right up to the very instant the train killed him. And that's all we'll ever know about him.
This is how a man dies.
This is how a man ... lives!

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 10:23 pm 
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If we're going to bring up Heinlein, how about "Love is the condition in which the well-being of another becomes essential to your own."


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 10:32 pm 
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Kirra wrote:
Lol DE....next time I'm putting a foley in a drunk guy, I'm gonna use the word "smokewagon" As I am explaining what I will be doing :)

"ok, I'm gonna be putting a large tube into your smokewagon sir"


The next time you're doing what? :shock:

You do realize I meant a pistol, right?

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 10:57 pm 
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This is my rifle, this is my gun indeed. Eh DE?

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 Post subject: Re: Random Wise Advice
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:23 pm 
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Smokewagon apparently has many meanings

http://smokewagongear.com/

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... ke%20wagon

http://www.smokewagonbluesband.com/

http://www.homerwatertaxi.com/

though pistol does seem to be the top definition.

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 Post subject: Re: Random Wise Advice
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:31 pm 
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Grrr... Eat your oatmeal!!
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:50 pm 
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When you've been off your bike for 6 months DO take it relatively easy.
DON'T try to ride like you did 6 months ago when the weather is 20 degrees hotter and you were in better shape. (Unless you like almost passing out in the driveway, then by all means, DO.)

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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:22 am 
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Diamondeye wrote:
Kirra wrote:
Lol DE....next time I'm putting a foley in a drunk guy, I'm gonna use the word "smokewagon" As I am explaining what I will be doing :)

"ok, I'm gonna be putting a large tube into your smokewagon sir"


The next time you're doing what? :shock:

You do realize I meant a pistol, right?



Lol well, actually no :p how do you jerk a pistol?

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:40 am 
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Kirra wrote:
Diamondeye wrote:
Kirra wrote:
Lol DE....next time I'm putting a foley in a drunk guy, I'm gonna use the word "smokewagon" As I am explaining what I will be doing :)

"ok, I'm gonna be putting a large tube into your smokewagon sir"


The next time you're doing what? :shock:

You do realize I meant a pistol, right?



Lol well, actually no :p how do you jerk a pistol?


I think its in the terms of a gunfight. "Jerk" it out of the holster and spray lead downrange. ;)

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