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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 7:52 am 
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Rafael wrote:
Given that she is a woman, I think this is patently obvious but that's not what I asked.


Then I'm not sure the question. You asked what would have changed, I said I wouldn't be with her if she was a man.

Leshani wrote:
Only question I would ask is this a 3 way equal partnership. how does she about your husband? Will she treat him with equal respect and consideration? will the challenges for attention and time?


For almost the a last 12 years they've been like best buddies...with occasional benefits. Seriously. And when it came down to serious discussions about the last month and a half, he's the one that made her cry and agree she screwed up by breaking up with me before talking to me about her problems, not me. I've never seen them fight. Yeah, I don't see this as an issue.

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authority with children? conflicts in how to raise? who's responsible for what?


They're not her kids. That sounds harsh, but legally, they're not. Ultimately the children's parents are still legally responsible for them.

Oonagh wrote:
My curiosity is killing me and you don't have to answer, but what will your sleeping arrangements be? By the way good luck and more power to ya!

Micheal wrote:
Hmm, my concept is that Husband and Lorelei have different bedrooms and Talya sleeps with whomever she decides each night.

That's kinda what it's been like for the last 12 years, except my bed was with my husband. I would just sometimes join her, or she would join us.

Leshani wrote:
Depends whose in the middle......

Yeah, that would be me, now. We have a very big bedroom. Can't get bigger than a King Size bed at a reasonable price, but we fit.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:06 am 
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Corolinth wrote:
Coming out of the closet and saying, "I'm gay, I'm also straight, and I'm going to live with both partners," and soliciting opinions are two different things. Taly told us what she's doing. She didn't ask us what we thought. We all did that on our own.


To be fair, she classified us as "guinea pigs", which implies, to me, that she wants to know our reaction. She also used a question mark in her opening post, which, to me, implies she wants an answer. Then, there's the whole idea of posting personal information on a forum. She's a smart lady and knows what that would lead to.

All together I took that to mean a solicitation of opinions.

But, whatever - she got them anyway

Good luck Taly - this is one of those things where nobody's going to ever be able to understand your situation, so any advice you get isn't going to fit well.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 7:19 am 
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Arathain Kelvar wrote:
To be fair, she classified us as "guinea pigs", which implies, to me, that she wants to know our reaction. She also used a question mark in her opening post, which, to me, implies she wants an answer. Then, there's the whole idea of posting personal information on a forum. She's a smart lady and knows what that would lead to.

All together I took that to mean a solicitation of opinions.


You were correct, sir.

Also, i posted them, not just on a forum, but in the rants forum. I needed people to feel free to start a religion-inspired tirade calling me the Great Harlot Babylon if they felt so inclined. You didn't.

You're all rather boring, you know. :P

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 8:25 am 
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Talya wrote:
I needed people to feel free to start a religion-inspired tirade calling me the Great Harlot Babylon if they felt so inclined. You didn't.

You're all rather boring, you know. :P

I apologize for my heathen loose-moraled fellow posters, Great Harlot Babylon.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:16 am 
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Talya wrote:
Arathain Kelvar wrote:
To be fair, she classified us as "guinea pigs", which implies, to me, that she wants to know our reaction. She also used a question mark in her opening post, which, to me, implies she wants an answer. Then, there's the whole idea of posting personal information on a forum. She's a smart lady and knows what that would lead to.

All together I took that to mean a solicitation of opinions.


You were correct, sir.

Also, i posted them, not just on a forum, but in the rants forum. I needed people to feel free to start a religion-inspired tirade calling me the Great Harlot Babylon if they felt so inclined. You didn't.

You're all rather boring, you know. :P




I think I said that like 7 years ago...figured it didn't need repeating.
:D

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:32 am 
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Nitefox wrote:

I think I said that like 7 years ago...figured it didn't need repeating.
:D


Now I thought that was Bery...

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 4:35 pm 
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Well now, she is a hell bound pagan sinner whose loose morals and assorted heresies have earned her a front row gibbet among the hottest fires of damnation - but as long as she asks nicely there is no reason for us to be rude. ;)

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Last edited by Micheal on Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 7:23 pm 
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Though I may not necessarily agree with your life style. my thoughts are very simple ..
Judge not, lest you be Judged.

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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 7:50 pm 
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Talya wrote:
Rafael wrote:
Given that she is a woman, I think this is patently obvious but that's not what I asked.


Then I'm not sure the question. You asked what would have changed, I said I wouldn't be with her if she was a man.


But why not? You obviously are not unattracted to men. If she were a man with the same compatibility to you in terms of personality (obviously, very good since you find love with each other), would it not be fine to include him in your life like you currently do?

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 7:51 pm 
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Micheal wrote:
Well now, she is a hell bound pagan sinner whose loose morals and assorted heresies have earned her a front row gibbet among the hottest fired of damnation - but as long as she asks nicely there is no reason for us to be rude. ;)


Hell has some damned good beaches from what I remember in the translation of Dante's Divine Comedy.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 8:56 pm 
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Rafael wrote:

But why not? You obviously are not unattracted to men. If she were a man with the same compatibility to you in terms of personality (obviously, very good since you find love with each other), would it not be fine to include him in your life like you currently do?


There are a couple reasons why not.

(1) Why not, from my perspective: Contrary to everything we like to tell ourselves about romantic love, ultimately sex is what separates the love you feel for your spouse from the love you might feel for your best friend. As such, sexual characteristics take on importance and meaning there. Any "straight man" here who disagrees with me on this, just think about whether you could fall in love with your best friend, even though he's a man. It's not shallow, it's how we're wired. About a year before I met Lor, I came out to my husband as bisexual. After 5 years living with me, he already knew, but he was glad I told him. After my first time with her, my husband and I had a discussion, and I tried to explain to him that being with Lor had sated a hunger I'd had that had never been filled before, even though being with him also filled a different need. It was him that made the following metaphor, not me. He said "I get it, I think, Jackie. It's like hunger and thirst. They are related, but one doesn't solve the other." A woman fills a hunger I didn't already have filled. A man would just be more of something I already had.
(2) Why not, from his perspective: My husband is not bisexual, I am. In a ménage à trois, this kinda matters.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me

█ ♣ █


Last edited by Talya on Wed Jul 25, 2012 9:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 9:13 pm 
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Micheal wrote:
Well now, she is a hell bound pagan sinner whose loose morals and assorted heresies have earned her a front row gibbet among the hottest fired of damnation - but as long as she asks nicely there is no reason for us to be rude. ;)



LoL. Hope she doesn't eat at chik-fi-la.

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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:37 pm 
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Oonagh wrote:
Micheal wrote:
Well now, she is a hell bound pagan sinner whose loose morals and assorted heresies have earned her a front row gibbet among the hottest fired of damnation - but as long as she asks nicely there is no reason for us to be rude. ;)



LoL. Hope she doesn't eat at chik-fi-la.


But but... bigoted chicken is the best chicken!

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 9:33 pm 
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I just can't muster enough anything to care really. It would be like someone posting here asking me what I think they should have for your dinner. Cram whatever you/who want in your body, have a fishstick or stuff.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 9:35 pm 
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Do you like fishsticks Elmo?

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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 10:41 pm 
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Talya wrote:
Rafael wrote:

But why not? You obviously are not unattracted to men. If she were a man with the same compatibility to you in terms of personality (obviously, very good since you find love with each other), would it not be fine to include him in your life like you currently do?


There are a couple reasons why not.

(1) Why not, from my perspective: Contrary to everything we like to tell ourselves about romantic love, ultimately sex is what separates the love you feel for your spouse from the love you might feel for your best friend. As such, sexual characteristics take on importance and meaning there. Any "straight man" here who disagrees with me on this, just think about whether you could fall in love with your best friend, even though he's a man. It's not shallow, it's how we're wired. About a year before I met Lor, I came out to my husband as bisexual. After 5 years living with me, he already knew, but he was glad I told him. After my first time with her, my husband and I had a discussion, and I tried to explain to him that being with Lor had sated a hunger I'd had that had never been filled before, even though being with him also filled a different need. It was him that made the following metaphor, not me. He said "I get it, I think, Jackie. It's like hunger and thirst. They are related, but one doesn't solve the other." A woman fills a hunger I didn't already have filled. A man would just be more of something I already had.
(2) Why not, from his perspective: My husband is not bisexual, I am. In a ménage à trois, this kinda matters.


(2) makes sense to me because it is purely practical. But on the other hand, who said a relationship involving two men and one woman has to involve a devil's threeway? Would it not be acceptable for a woman to be in love with two different men and be with each one at separate times? Would it be less acceptable than her having a relationship with both a man and a woman?

(1) Is true, but you can also have sex with other men. So while I understand being with another woman might fill another desire that would go unfulfilled with just a man, I don't know if it's fair to say that a woman couldn't have sexual, romantic relationships with two different men at once, at least not on the premise of fulfillment of different desires. In fact, I know of several women who have this arrangement albeit the men are not aware of it. That's a big difference, but at the same time it makes me ponder if it isn't possible with two men just the same.

Sorry to pry, curious is all. Feel free to have a drink on me.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 7:20 pm 
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I suppose it would be possible, but we don't have an "open" relationship like that. It just wouldn't work for us, and I had no interest in seeking another man. He's more than enough of a man for me. He makes a lousy woman, though.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:04 am 
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Talya wrote:
I suppose it would be possible, but we don't have an "open" relationship like that. It just wouldn't work for us, and I had no interest in seeking another man. He's more than enough of a man for me. He makes a lousy woman, though.

What if he came back and said he was bi-sexual and needed a dude in his life in addition to you?

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:54 am 
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Hopwin wrote:
Talya wrote:
I suppose it would be possible, but we don't have an "open" relationship like that. It just wouldn't work for us, and I had no interest in seeking another man. He's more than enough of a man for me. He makes a lousy woman, though.

What if he came back and said he was bi-sexual and needed a dude in his life in addition to you?


Yes?

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 8:16 am 
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Talya wrote:
Hopwin wrote:
Talya wrote:
I suppose it would be possible, but we don't have an "open" relationship like that. It just wouldn't work for us, and I had no interest in seeking another man. He's more than enough of a man for me. He makes a lousy woman, though.

What if he came back and said he was bi-sexual and needed a dude in his life in addition to you?


Yes?

Would you accommodate?

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 8:31 am 
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Hopwin wrote:
Talya wrote:
Hopwin wrote:
Talya wrote:
I suppose it would be possible, but we don't have an "open" relationship like that. It just wouldn't work for us, and I had no interest in seeking another man. He's more than enough of a man for me. He makes a lousy woman, though.

What if he came back and said he was bi-sexual and needed a dude in his life in addition to you?


Yes?

Would you accommodate?


Yes.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 8:33 am 
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Talya wrote:
Yes.

It wasn't a gotcha question, it was curiousity is all.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 8:36 am 
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Talya wrote:
Nitefox wrote:

I think I said that like 7 years ago...figured it didn't need repeating.
:D


Now I thought that was Bery...

Oh God, that's exactly what this thread is missing: Bery and Monte flamethrowing about morality. Just thinking about it has me all nostalgic.

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19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Ezekiel 23:19-20 


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 8:50 am 
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Bery went on a rant at me once about this very subject.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 8:57 am 
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Talya wrote:
Bery went on a rant at me once about this very subject.

On which iteration? I'm trying to remember it.

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19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Ezekiel 23:19-20 


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