The Glade 4.0

I haven't verified this, but someone told me that buckyballs.com is having a 45% off sale. Just use the coupon code "SUCKITGROUPON".

I did a quick Google search of that code, and it turned up some broken links to woot.com, so not really sure what's going on.

That almost makes me want to buy into Coro's theory.

I'm really curious to hear what possible political gain people think the Obama campaign might get out of this.

I'm really curious to hear what possible political gain people think the Obama campaign might get out of this.

Seriously, guys?

Boy, I sure am glad people crawled my **** when I pointed out the idiotic, partisan, and goofy-as-hell "Obama administration" line authorial criticism in the original article. Otherwise the discussion might have taken a wild turn into "crazy conspiracy whackadoo" territory.

We dodged a bullet there, I tell ya.

I'm still waiting for a plausible explanation for what the CPSC is doing....

Do you deny what I'm saying? You don't think the media will have a field day if it does come out that he is a Romney contributor or something? Perception is reality.

You don't think the media will have a field day if it does come out that he is a Romney contributor or something? Perception is reality.

Boy, I sure am glad people crawled my **** when I pointed out the idiotic, partisan, and goofy-as-hell "Obama administration" line authorial criticism in the original article. Otherwise the discussion might have taken a wild turn into "crazy conspiracy whackadoo" territory.

We dodged a bullet there, I tell ya.

News
Fun Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids

August 16, 2000 | ISSUE 36•28

WASHINGTON, DC–In cooperation with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, Wizco Toys of Montclair, NJ, recalled 245,000 Aqua Assault RoboFighters Monday after three dumb kids managed to kill themselves playing with the popular toy, ruining the fun for everybody else.

"The tragedy is inconceivable," Wizco president Alvin Cassidy said. "For years, countless children played with the Aqua Assault RoboFighter without incident. But then these three retards come along and somehow find a way to get themselves killed. So now we have to do a full recall and halt production on what was a really awesome toy. What a waste."

"My mom won't let me play with my RoboFighter because of those dumb kids who died," said 10-year-old Jeremy Daigle of Somerville, MA. "I used to set up army guys around the RoboFighter and have it run over them and conquer Earth for the Zardaxians. But now I'll never see it again, all because three stupid idiots had to go and wreck everything."


Each of the deaths was determined to be the result of gross misuse of the toy, an incredibly cool device that could shoot both plastic missiles and long jets of water, as well as maneuver over the ground on retractable wheels.

The first death occurred June 22, when 7-year-old Isaac Weiller of Grand Junction, CO, died after deliberately firing one of the spring-loaded plastic missiles into his left nostril. The missile shot into his sinuses, shattering the roof of his nasal cavity and causing a massive brain hemorrhage.

Shortly before dying, Weiller told emergency medical personnel at St. Luke's Medical Center that he had shot the missile into his nose in the belief that it would travel through his body and out his belly button.

"I've heard some pretty stupid **** in my time, but that has to take the cake," said Dr. Anderson Hunt, the attending physician. "Why would any kid think he could fire plastic missiles up his nose and expect them to come out his belly button? There's no point in feeling bad about this child's demise, because the deck was obviously stacked against him from the start. What we should feel bad about is the fact that because of him, millions of other children will no longer get to fire the RoboFighter's super-cool Devastator Missiles or soak their friends with its FunFoam WaterBlasters."

Less than one month after Weiller's death, 5-year-old Danielle Krug fatally suffocated on fragments of the toy after repeatedly smashing it with a claw hammer in the garage of her parents' La Porte, IN, home.

"I'm not kidding," said Dianne Ensor, an emergency-room nurse at Our Lady Of Peace Hospital in La Porte, where Krug was pronounced dead. "She thought the broken shards were candy. That's what you'd assume after breaking a plastic, inedible toy, right? Absolutely ****."

Joshua Schatzeder of Grand Rapids, MI, is forced to play with a boring little fire truck as a result of the recall.

The third and arguably stupidest death occurred August 12, when 11-year-old dumbass Michael Torres held the RoboFighter above his head and jumped off the balcony of his family's third-story Torrance, CA, apartment, thinking he would be able to fly like Superman.

"A couple of my fellow emergency workers thought we should cut the kid some slack, because at least he wasn't trying to eat the toy or shove it up his nose," said paramedic Debra Lindfors, who tried in vain to revive Torres. "I considered this for a while, but then I decided no. No way. If you're 11 years old, you should know that it's impossible to fly. And poor Wizco's probably going to go bankrupt because of this ****."

As a result of the extreme idiocy of the three children, the CPSC was forced to order Wizco to stop making the toy and remove it from store shelves, as well as recommend that parents remove it from their homes.

"I know the overwhelming majority of American kids who owned an Aqua Assault RoboFighter derived many hours of safe, responsible fun from it," CPSC commissioner Mary Sheila Gall said. "But, statistically speaking, three deaths stemming from contact with a particular toy constitutes an 'unreasonable risk.' Look, I'm really sorry about this. Honestly. But our agency's job is to protect the public from hazardous products, even if those who die are morons who deserved what they got."

In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first. - George Carlin

I fail to see how the use of government power to put a company out of business to deprive "the other team" of campaign funding is a conspiracy theory. It's dirty politics. This type of stuff actually happens. This is what government officials do with their power.

It's just that some of us have bought into the naive idea that we as a nation are "better" than that.

I'm sorry, guys. We're not. We display the same malicious cruelty as everyone else on the planet.