Thanks Stathol!
Pam (she knows who she is)
"Status reports are due on Friday. It's Friday morning. I don't see yours yet. Yes, I know you were on call all last night. I got your summary at 4am. I sent you email back asking you to be on the bridge at 7:30am. Why didn't you respond to me? Rupert? Have you seen Rupert? I didn't see him on IM this morning. I sent him email too. He didn't respond. I told him he was on call but now you are on call this weekend, oh , and today. Today you are on call. Tomorrow you are on call. But before you are on call you need to go to Nexus and rack the firewalls. Yes, we are downgrading them. It's ok. You don't worry about performance. We know. Ok. You are lead support on them. Be on the bridge after they go to production. It's ok. You'll get 2nd phone for oncall. Testers? You can test! Plan? No plan. Write one and submit for review. Are you listening to me? Be team player or no bonus for you. What? Bonus already gone? Wait. You are on call next week too. Are you listening? Nevermind, I'll send you email."