Talya wrote:
RangerDave wrote:
Personally, I'm a little torn on this issue. I don't think there's anything wrong with having a societal archetype for masculinity, but I do think it's wrong to condemn or demean those who, by birth or by choice, don't adhere to it. The dilemma I see is whether it's possible to have the former without the latter.
The standard also varies from culture to culture. During the many conversations I had that day that helped crystallize my position, I did pose a caveat that Latin men are entirely capable of crossing some of our western "Masculine gender role" stereotypes and not seem any less manly for it. The spanish dancer can remain the height of hunkish manliness, the italian hairdresser does a masculine thing making women look beautiful, etc.
Anyway, note that women who cross such gender roles are not in any way considered less feminine...not anymore, anyway. Why can't the strong, masculine man stay home and keep the house clean (and repaired, if he's feeling too feminized!) and look after the kids while his wife brings home money? If both jobs have equal value, why is a man doing that same job looked down upon?
(I'll tell you why in my case - we can't afford for you to stay home, slacker. Get a job! But that really applies to us both.)
I'll tell you why I think this is the case. I believe the movement for equality has been mostly a women movement. Men never accepted that it was okay for themselves to do what women do. They've changed to be more open to viewing women as equals, but that doesn't mean they want to participate in cross gender roles as much as women were looking to do so. Women had a strong reason to desire equality. Men already had their roles. They don't feel the need to change that role, even though women are much more equal now.
Naturally, I think it all goes back to the hunters and gatherers vs the nurtures and caregivers, like seen in all of the animal world. A man is naturally going to be a competitive being, and look to provide for his family first. It's just etched into our brains that it works that way, without even thinking about it. It's worked that way for thousands of years. If people think that's going to change just because we live in a PC world these days, they're nuts. It's like asking why animals mark their territory with urine. It just is what it is. Men have natural traits that they are better at. Women have natural traits that they better at. People love to act like we're all equal at everything just because there's a PC movement for equality. We're still very different, down to our very instincts and DNA. I wish we could just accept our differences and still be equals on a social level.
The entire feminism movement has gone out of hand, like you stated. The number of double standards that have developed on this issue are just outrageous. We want equality, but we still want all of the child support money because when it comes to that, we're only a single mom. Why aren't you an independent woman, like you constantly drill into our ears, when it comes time to go to court? All of the sudden, now you're a poor woman left out to dry because the person that provided for her screwed her over and now it's time for handouts. I'm not saying I'm against child support at all, but I think you get my point on this issue when it comes to those feminist wenches.
What about dating? Generally, men still have to be the hunters (their natural role in this world) to find a mate. Women just sit back and wait, again generally speaking. You sure don't want equals when it comes to that. Women want an alpha male, that is until she goes back onto her feminist movement...then she hates the a-hole, conceded, sexist, prick.
How about education? You want equality, but I bet that doesn't mean giving up that pell grant for being a "single" mother, even though the dad still takes care of the child too. Not every dad is a dead beat dad. Almost all scholarships go to special need
students (minorities and women). I'm sure you'll gladly take those as you preach about how unequal life is.
*sigh* I can't even continue because it'd take too much time to list all of the ways I feel the feminist movement is a completely double standard. Don't take this the wrong way, as I know there are many deserving individuals out there who truly do need all of these things. Not only that, they deserve their child support they get, their scholarships, etc. I'm just speaking to the women who claim things are unequal and that men are the devil. Maybe things aren't yet equal, but they are damn well on their way.
I don't even have time to get into all of the double standards.