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PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:18 am 
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A homeless person attacked me yesterday... A police officer called it "assault and battery". It was pretty unpleasant.

I really wish I learned martial arts when I was younger.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:24 am 
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Lex Luthor wrote:
A homeless person attacked me yesterday... A police officer called it "assault and battery". It was pretty unpleasant.

I really wish I learned martial arts when I was younger.



Who had homeless person attack in the "Lex gets what is coming to him" pool?

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:37 am 
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Picking up girls is brutal with all the homeless people around. They always want to use my cell, to get money from me. It's brutal.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:39 am 
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Nitefox wrote:
Who had homeless person attack in the "Lex gets what is coming to him" pool?


That would be me. Pay up, dear.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:46 am 
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Lex Luthor wrote:
Picking up girls is brutal with all the homeless people around. They always want to use my cell, to get money from me. It's brutal.


Why are you picking up chicks in dark alleys?

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:51 am 
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Müs wrote:
Lex Luthor wrote:
Picking up girls is brutal with all the homeless people around. They always want to use my cell, to get money from me. It's brutal.


Why are you picking up chicks in dark alleys?


I'm not... it's the middle of **** Harvard Square. The place is an arena.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:20 am 
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"Pick up chicks" is a contact sport, obviously.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:22 pm 
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Lex Luthor wrote:
Müs wrote:
Lex Luthor wrote:
Picking up girls is brutal with all the homeless people around. They always want to use my cell, to get money from me. It's brutal.


Why are you picking up chicks in dark alleys?


I'm not... it's the middle of **** Harvard Square. The place is an arena.


Sounds badass. Single girls in an arena environment. Count me in.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 5:25 am 
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Lex Luthor wrote:
I am now realizing that I need a dramatic shift in my thinking. I should focus more on giving value to others in my interactions with them. Or at least try to. I want others to feel better about themselves after I interact with them. If I do this all solely for myself, I will just feel like a selfish person who is closed off to others. It is not a place I want to be.


If you're serious about this, then good luck dude. Thats an amazing turnaround.


Two things I'd say, from my experiences:

1) Stop trying to be thing king of sparta. You're never going to be a superman, and trying to be one will just lead to you throwing up a superman shell for others that you don't believe in; it's ok to need some things from others; dont try to be bulletproof. It's also ok that they may need some things from you; don't take advantage of that, or see it as a way to manipulate them.

2) If you genuinely learn to interact with both honesty and empathy (*) for others you'll do ok; that doesn't mean that because someone wants or needs something from you you sacrifice any of your own needs to provide it and become a martyr, and it doesnt mean because you need or want something from them you sacrifice all their own needs and become a monster.

Just find a balance where you're not hurting folks, and both you and they feel better about yourselves at the end of the interaction; sometimes that'll be coffee, sometimes ap olitical debate, sometimes fooling around in the park fountains, and maybe, one day, you'll find someone the balance is good enough with that it becomes a real relationship.

Make each other better people, and dont hurt others thoughtlessly... you'll do ok.

Good luck. I hope you manage it rather than trying, finding it hard, and retreating into the safety of your projected shells again.


(*) I have some 'player' friends who are total dicks about this. They're "honest" up front with folks they know want/need/hope for more, and then say that legitimises any damage done because they were always open about how they were going to be. No, it does not make being a douche and hurting folks ok if you tell them before hand.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 6:57 am 
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Wiser words were never spoken..

"no, it does not make being a douche and hurting folks ok, if you tell them before hand"

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 10:25 pm 
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Today a homeless person tried dumping water on my head while I was talking to a girl. He was mad that I wouldn't let him stay at my place for the night.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 7:32 am 
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Did you read my book suggestion yet? Go to a library, get it, and then hit on librarians!

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 Post subject: Re: Talking to strangers
PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 8:55 am 
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Over the last two weeks, I've had a giant procrastination issue with approaching people. I just didn't want to do it. The excitement was over from all the repetition. It became boring. I knew I'd end up in a conversation with every person I approach, and it's really stressful. I still wanted to be a player, though, so I kept going out for 30-40 hours a week.

I came up with exciting nonsense to fill the time. I would stare at homeless people from far away, building lots of tension, until they started screaming at me. I would enlist young homeless people to run at strangers poking them and saying "dodododo". I'd pretend to trip random pedestrians and then apologize, nearly provoking a 70 year old 101st Airborne vet into attacking me. I'd yell something at every person walking by... not wanting to start a conversation, but just for the excitement. Some of the homeless started following my example, which was funny.

Last night I finally hit my limit with all this. It's no longer fun enough to bother people simply for my own excitement, or to create tension. Going on the Internet is more fun that all this. Sitting at my computer is much better than sitting outside for 14 hours on a Sunday. So last night my anxiety of boredom grew so great that I started scouring the area for people to make conversation... girls alone, groups of people... whoever I could sink my fangs into to justify not being home on the Internet. I'd typically have a two to ten minute conversation with them. It's wicked sketch to approach people at night on the street, but I felt I had to do this or leave.

It's relatively painful for me. I don't like talking to most people, especially when I don't know them. It's like jumping into a cold pool over and over. However it will be worth it in the long run. My only claim to fame will be sleeping with tons of college girls, and then gloating about it until everyone talks about me. It's inevitable if I keep going out 7 days a week. So far it's been two and a half months... it takes more than a year to get really good at this.

I actually got worse at pickup because I'd have more fun seeming "cool" than going for results. So I would focus a lot on the cool way to say things, and cool body language. This made it more difficult to maintain a conversation. I still do this, but I'm getting used to it. I hate supplicating, i.e. acting or saying things that don't make me seem cool, in order to get a phone number.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 10:14 am 
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...whoever I could sink my fangs into to justify...


Lex is a social vampire.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 8:24 am 
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Müs wrote:
Quote:
...whoever I could sink my fangs into to justify...


Lex is a social vampire.


Yeah, pretty much.

I've been trying so hard at this stuff and it feels like I'm not even getting better. It sucks. I've been getting only one phone number per day, on average, for two months. Not to mention this hobby is incredibly stressful. I won't quit though. There's no better way to spend my time.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 8:37 am 
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You could take up motorcycle maintenance and write a novel about how awesome you are?

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:14 pm 
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Wwen wrote:
You could take up motorcycle maintenance and write a novel about how awesome you are?


I could, but that's a lonely hobby.

I just talked to a girl and presented a different facet of my personality (high energy rather than not-talkative and intense), and she rejected me and it hurts! Clearly I have something new to work on. Sweet.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:16 pm 
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Lex, why don't you just take one or two relationships and cultivate them?

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:16 pm 
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LadyKate wrote:
Lex, why don't you just take one or two relationships and cultivate them?


I'd have to find a new hobby and I don't know what else is interesting.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:26 pm 
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Anyone can churn out hundreds of social encounters, but it takes a special set of social skills to obtain and maintain a close relationship whether platonic or otherwise. Thats the true test of your social abilities...quality, not quantity.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:27 pm 
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LadyKate wrote:
Anyone can churn out hundreds of social encounters, but it takes a special set of social skills to obtain and maintain a close relationship whether platonic or otherwise. Thats the true test of your social abilities...quality, not quantity.


Right now I want quantity... I want to Genghis-Khan dozens of women and then pick one and work on relationship skills. Unless I stumble upon one girl who is really great but that hasn't happened yet.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:33 pm 
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Lex you are aware that people are like onions, right? You're only sticking around long enough to see the outer layer....there is soooooo much more to a person than the persona that they allow strangers to see. Its only once they let you "in" that you get to really know them.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:34 pm 
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Round and white and they make you cry when you cut them?

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:46 pm 
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You know, not everybody likes onions.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:50 pm 
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LadyKate wrote:
Lex you are aware that people are like onions, right? You're only sticking around long enough to see the outer layer....there is soooooo much more to a person than the persona that they allow strangers to see. Its only once they let you "in" that you get to really know them.


I understand this, but I don't want to focus on the other layers until I have the meeting part down. Also I met my roommate from doing this so that is a success story.

On the other topic, it's interesting how my intense, anti-talkative self is much more effective at getting numbers. Whenever I was too chatty, my results faltered heavily. So I mostly abandoned that facet of my personality for the last two months, and exposed it only to my close friends and family. However, since it is part of my personality, I feel I have to master it with strangers. Otherwise I am just presenting half a person. I will probably get 0 numbers for a long time but it's worth going down the hill to climb the mountain.


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